The Neverending Story..

#101
#101
a Great Dane he could hook up with so that his pups could roll with the giant Chihuahas. He was offering to....
 
#102
#102
Originally posted by volmanjr@Apr 29, 2005 3:07 PM
a Great Dane he could hook up with so that his pups could roll with the giant Chihuahas. He was offering to....
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...trade Bama fans stock options for "first come" breeding rights, mistakenly believing that our time's pictures of Alabama cheerleaders were proof that he must have come back in time before and just, through the peculiarities of time travel, didn't remember that he, in a former time loop, had proved that breeding his giant chihuahuas with great danes had successfully produced the biggest bitches the planet had ever known.

Meanwhile, MempisVol was still sitting out front in the driveway. He was wondering, 1. What the hell happened to his hooker; 2., Who all the weird people in the yard were & what they were doing; and, 3., suddenly realizing not only that the Force had Viagra beat all over (so to speak) but his tired "There is no try, there is only do" catchphrase was now a potential winning add-campaign just waiting to happen.

MV had just pulled out the emergency brake and was in the process of jamming the stick into first gear when his wind-shield caved-in.

The first through the wind-shield was Lady-in-Orange, who immediately began beating him about the face & head because, unfortunately for MV, it is impossible to have a LIO explosively projected into your lap with no warning without accidentally touching some of her fun parts in the process, and, sadly for MV, LIO does not recongnize, "What the F***!!!!" as an excuse for touching her fun parts.

The second through the window, though for obvious reasons MV was in no position to note it at the time, was a giant chihuahua.

Third, but ghastly far from least....
 
#104
#104
...was a Bama cheerleader who, though dressed up like a Vol fan, immediately revealed herself by exclaiming "that's too long!"

Theoretically, MV thought to himself in those first few blood-curdling seconds, it might be fun to be caught in a tight quarters girl-fight between LIO, a giant chihuahua, and a Bama cheerleader.

As with most male fantasies, however, the reality proved somewhat disappointing. Not to mention expensive from a medical standpoint.

Seeing an opportunity as the Homeland Security Ambulance pulled away with MV's battered but mysteriously smiling remains, UTVOLFAN rifled MV's ashtray in hopes of scoring a stray roach.

That's when out from under the seat, covered with Bama cheerleader goo, emerged....
 
#105
#105
Originally posted by MemphisVol@Apr 29, 2005 10:12 PM
...was a Bama cheerleader who, though dressed up like a Vol fan, immediately revealed herself by exclaiming "that's too long!"
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:eek:lol: :eek:lol:


Memphis, you are so funny.

Keep yer hands to yerself PAL!!

MV :chair: LIO
 
#106
#106
volstorm, who said "I am about to rip some bammers a new a**h***! for crashing our party!" at which point he leaps from the car and....
 
#107
#107
he tries to summon a storm. Even though he did his best Halle Berry impression yet from the movie X men, nothing happened. So he did the next best thing, he picked up the water hose, turned it on and started spraying the bammers while shouting "the water of justice is pouring down on you bammers for I am Volstorm!" However the bammers weren't impressed....
 
#108
#108
...in fact they also weren't technically conscious. And were barely breathing.

LIke just about everybody else in the yard, they were staring, pole-axed, at what had started to happen almost immediately when the 'water of justice' had struck Lady in Orange and the giant chihuahua.

I say "almost" everyone because at the critical moment MV had turned away to follow a clingy-wet Bama cheerleader out of the car and down the street in the general direction of the local IHOP, and UTVolFan was busy trying to follow them in the interests of photo-journalism.
 
#109
#109
Because he knew that even if she was a bammer cheerleader, she would make a nice addition to the chic-pic thread, and he knew that he had to do anything to occupy the volnation masses in hopes of distracting them from starting another QB thread.
 
#110
#110
Once the uproar in the front yard had settled down, everyone realized MemphisVol was missing an since it was time for his medication, a search party was organized...
 
#111
#111
So what did everyone do we called upon operaman aka OWB to save the day and use his super powers to help locate MemphisVol but for some reason he was having trouble because....
 
#112
#112
He had a bad headache. This alone wasn't the reason he couldn't track MV down. In wanting to relieve his headache, OWB looked through LIO's medicine cabinet and found a bottle of Tylenol. The only problem was that this was really LIO's secret stash of Valium. With the headache being so bad, he took more than the regular dose and ended up falling face first into the mulch, falling asleep. So...
 
#113
#113
Originally posted by Orangewhiteblood@May 1, 2005 9:56 PM
He had a bad headache. This alone wasn't the reason he couldn't track MV down. In wanting to relieve his headache, OWB looked through LIO's medicine cabinet and found a bottle of Tylenol. The only problem was that this was really LIO's secret stash of Valium. With the headache being so bad, he took more than the regular dose and ended up falling face first into the mulch, falling asleep. So...
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WE called upon our great friend FREAKY to please come over with some hot dogs. He most graciously complied and brought over 4 which we forced him to eat, therefore getting the pills out of his system...
 
#114
#114
..but the hotdogs had gone bad and OWB ended up with food poisoning. To avoid a trip to the emergency room OWB ran to the time machine and as he was trying to dial up the momement before he ate the dogs he suddenly heaved to puke and accidently changed the settings and was transported to...
 
#115
#115
An Alabama football game in 1976. Seeing Bear Bryant coaching his team in a huddle, OWB rubbed his eyes in disbelief. Since OWB ended up on the sideline, he had an idea. When the team broke the huddle, OWB snuck up behind Bear and stole his hat. He quickly ran back to the time machine in the corner of the endzone, put the hat on his head and set the controls for the present date again...
 
#116
#116
he ended up at the Quickie-mart in Podunk Alabama where Bear works the night shift (Elvis is the day manager) and feeling bad about stealing the hat, returns it to him. The "Bear" looks at OWB with a stern look and says...
 
#118
#118
"I never did like that damn hat, but these podunk bammers just didn't recognize me without it! Listen, how 'bout doing me a favor and give this ratty old thing to...
 
#120
#120
and give the bama nation a message for me, leave CPF alone it's not his fault we got caught!...
 
#121
#121
And that is exactly what he did. He went back to LIO's house and gathered up the group of bammers that had been standing around for no real reason this whole time. OWB stood on the hood of CBC's car and delivered the message......
 
#122
#122
"you bammers are idiots according to your own legendary "Bear", go home and get over it!" and hey you overthere bondtodd700 go tell your buddy man in k town to stop pretending to be someone he's not....
 
#123
#123
before we burn him at the stake. Meanwhile in LIO's house, everyone had settled down. Some people were getting a little tired and contemplating going home but there was one thing left to do before that party ended and that was.....
 
#124
#124
jerry rig LIO's computer so that she would never be able to replace the sparkly avatar with boy toys again. They headed toward the house when suddenly...
 
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