Very cool read. Did you ever find it ironic that your grandparents were psychiatrists and your parents were schizophrenic? Genuinely curious.
Very ironic and I had many philosophical discussions with my grandfather about medicine (his philosophy) vs. therapy (my philosophy) from a pre-teen on. Interesting to note that my grandfather analyzed the famous poet Ezra Pound while he was still practicing in D.C. Psychiatry was very primitive until the 1980's and there were a lot of misguided practices but he was a very respected member of his field and was one of the first doctors in the 50's to treat black people in East TN and he did volunteer work every year in Middlesboro, KY with former coal miners. He was a great man and president of the AMA in TN for a while. He was very humble and I didn't learn about a lot of his accomplishments until his funeral but I always knew that he was v÷ry respected in the community.
It was very confusing and at times embarrassing for me as a child to have a mentally ill mother. She would hallucinate and act out at home, in public and at school functions or in front of my friends and their families. She was very paranoid and thought I wanted other mothers and even women on TV to be my mother and would go into a rage and lash out at me and sometimes get physically violent until I was big enough to stop her around 9-10 years old. There's no way in today's society that I would have been allowed to be raised by her. From a young age I often had to be the responsible adult while she threw hysterical tantrums like a child. It did help me to be very patient and understanding of others so some good came of it. I pitied both of my parents for all they went through....including barbaric electric shock therapy. They were both very high IQ late teens in college and had bright futures before their illness hit. Mother was getting her masters in teaching Spanish from UT and my father was in UNC's law school when it hit him.
I was always told as a child that my mom and dad "went crazy" due to drugs, specifically pot and I would face the same fate if I ever did drugs. That had the opposite of the intended effect on me and I did anything I could get my hands on as a teen. That included large amounts of LSD, mushrooms, other chemical psychedelics and smoking pot regularly until my late 20's and occasionally into my early 30's. I was on a mission to prove the strength of my mind and my grip on reality.
My grandmother was a saint in how she treated me but was harshly judgemental toward her daughters, especially about premarital sex. I believe that her harsh judgement, 'Christian" guilt and my mother's lack of coping skills led to her mental breakdown in college along with her genetic predisposition and several traumatic experiences such as rape, abortion of an unwanted pregnancy and a miscarriage. She was also given LSD and told it was a THC tablet and slipped PCP another time. I know less about the details surrounding my father but I do know a cgeating fiancée played a part.
I am careful to raise my children to love themselves, know they will always have my support and know that no situation is so bad that it can't be gotten over/past. I feel these are some of the keys to good mental health along with the ability to honestly self evaluate and improve. I've had a strange life at times but I've always known myself, genuinely liked who I am as a person and never let stress overwhelm me. If I can instill these traits in my kids then the mess of my short-lived childhood was worth it.
Luckily, my mom has somewhat calmed down in her old age. My father died at a mental home in his 50's while having lived the past 30+ years in a fantasy world inside his own mind. I never resented him and we had a few lucid conversations over the years but they would only last minutes before he slipped back into fantasy land. He did get to meet his grandson (my son) and my wife shortly before he died. He looked like a 70 year old man due to the strong anti-psychotic meds he was on but he was happy for a brief moment when meeting them. Sorry for the very long answer but I did try to abbreviate as much as possible while giving the overall picture mixed with what my parent's tragic lives have taught me about life, mental health and parenting.