Things They Say - The Famous Quotes Thread

#52

bag12day

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#52
"A wet bird never flies at night"
My dad, now 85, and a big time VFL, when I was a kid, and he wanted to see me with a blank look on my face, trying to figure out "what does THAT mean"?
when I was a kid I would ask my dad how like long something takes and he would say” as long as it takes a one legged money with a glass eye to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle “
me: that old man has lost his marbles...and wth does that even mean?
 
#53

pismonque

Bury me in Orcadian peat
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#53
when I was a kid I would ask my dad how like long something takes and he would say” as long as it takes a one legged money with a glass eye to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle “
me: that old man has lost his marbles...and wth does that even mean?
I heard Harry Anderson say something similar on Night Court one time. He said, "If a hen and a half lays an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long would it take a rhesus monkey to knock all the seeds out of a dill pickle?"

I always liked the nonsense of that and have thrown it out there from time to time over the years whenever a bit of nonsense seemed necessary. But after getting the puzzled looks, I'd usually follow up with something like, "Yeah, I know, it's a trick question, because really, there aren't enough potato chips in a barrel of monkeys to cover a doghouse, so what do you do with all the fish?"

This is one among many things that makes my wife question certain life choices she's made.
 
#68

PEPPERJAX

Let's Do A Ritual....
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#68
Random quotes from Sir Charles Barkley.

After retiring from basketball "I'm just what America needs - another unemployed black man.
"I had to explain to my daughter why that skank Monica Lewinski has an hour special on HBO this weekend."
"I know why his name is DMX. Because his real name is Earl. Imagine if his name was Earl the rapper
"If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly. If they tell you a guy works hard, he can't play a lick. Same thing."
"It's kinda great to see the Celtics doin well again cuz that was so much fun in my day to go to the Boston Garden and they spit at you and throw things at you and talk about your mom. It sounds like dinner at Kenny Smith's house."
Asked if he had ever been in the governor's office in Montgomery, Barkley said no. "They don't let many black people in the governor's mansion in Alabama," he said, "unless they're cleaning."
All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine."
"Well, when I went off to college, the guys I used to hang with were pumping gas and voting Democrat. Today they're still pumping gas and voting Democrat. Guess the Democrats didn't do much for them."
"I heard Tonya Harding is calling herself the Charles Barkley of figure skating. I was going to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized I have no character."
On Jerry Krause still being able to keep his job as GM of the Chicago Bulls: "Jerry Krause must have pictures of his boss's wife having sex with a monkey."
"Have you ever noticed that Gatorade doesn't work on players that suck?"
 
#69

vols_fan_68

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#69
"The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of starstuff"
- Carl Sagan
 
#71

GroverCleveland

22nd & 24th POTUS; non-Nobel Prize Winner
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#71
"Busier than a cat covering s--- on a tin roof"

"Nervous as a pregnant monkey on a rotten grapevine"

"I'm like the monkey friggin' a football, I've had all this I can stand"

"Happy as a dead hog in the sunshine"

"If you do that again, I'll beat you until you pee like a yellow cat."

"Hard as a preacher's d--k"

Heard these growing up in south Georgia
 

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