Tell Me Your Worst Dating Story?

[Tin Man]

In 1980, I returned to Atlanta from Las Cruces, NM to take a management job with a record store chain. I met a lovely young woman who also worked there, but as she was not in my organization, it wasn't against company policy for us to fraternize outside of work. Our mutual attraction was obvious, and I asked her out. She wanted to go to a dance club at cocktail hour to check it out before the music made conversation impossible.

We're seated in a booth near the dance floor. We've taken our first sip of our drinks when she excuses herself to go to the lavatory. While we're talking, she excuses herself to go to the lavatory two more times. Just as we're served our second round, she goes to the lavatory yet again. She seems tipsier than she should be after one drink. Within minutes of her return, it's clear that she's intoxicated. She's loud and sloppy. Gesticulating with her hands as she speaks to me, she slaps her drink out onto the dance floor. She laughs and starts shouting for another drink. The manager approaches me and asks us to leave.

Though she's reluctant to go, she does accompany me out the door without creating a scene. We get to my pickup truck (1969 Ford F100 240 six with three on the tree), and I open the passenger door and help her in. I walk around and get in on the drivers side. I glance over at her. She thumps her head against the dash and pukes onto the floorboards. When she's done, I ask if she's OK, or if she needs to go to the ER. She claims that she's alright. I take her home, then pull into the nearest gas station to use the water to hose out my cab. The next day, I thoroughly cleaned my truck.

When next we spoke, the woman was unapologetic, explaining that she took too many 'ludes. They weren't kicking in until they did all at once. I told her that I didn't have an issue with recreational drug use, but expected folks in my company (especially a first date) to give me a heads up beforehand. I kept my distance afterwards.

 

[Wireless1]

I'm just glad there are not a lot of women on here discussing their worst dates, I'm concerned I might have to rebuttal.

 

[Tin Man]

I'm just glad there are not a lot of women on here discussing their worst dates, I'm concerned I might have to rebuttal.

Try "when I was the worst date." You lead it off.

 

[MAD]

In 1980, I returned to Atlanta from Las Cruces, NM to take a management job with a record store chain. I met a lovely young woman who also worked there, but as she was not in my organization, it wasn't against company policy for us to fraternize outside of work. Our mutual attraction was obvious, and I asked her out. She wanted to go to a dance club at cocktail hour to check it out before the music made conversation impossible.

We're seated in a booth near the dance floor. We've taken our first sip of our drinks when she excuses herself to go to the lavatory. While we're talking, she excuses herself to go to the lavatory two more times. Just as we're served our second round, she goes to the lavatory yet again. She seems tipsier than she should be after one drink. Within minutes of her return, it's clear that she's intoxicated. She's loud and sloppy. Gesticulating with her hands as she speaks to me, she slaps her drink out onto the dance floor. She laughs and starts shouting for another drink. The manager approaches me and asks us to leave.

Though she's reluctant to go, she does accompany me out the door without creating a scene. We get to my pickup truck (1969 Ford F100 240 six with three on the tree), and I open the passenger door and help her in. I walk around and get in on the drivers side. I glance over at her. She thumps her head against the dash and pukes onto the floorboards. When she's done, I ask if she's OK, or if she needs to go to the ER. She claims that she's alright. I take her home, then pull into the nearest gas station to use the water to hose out my cab. The next day, I thoroughly cleaned my truck.

When next we spoke, the woman was unapologetic, explaining that she took too many 'ludes. They weren't kicking in until they did all at once. I told her that I didn't have an issue with recreational drug use, but expected folks in my company (especially a first date) to give me a heads up beforehand. I kept my distance afterwards.

Man, that was a nightmare all around. Your poor truck. Smart for keeping your distance after that.

 

[zjcvols]

One time me and a girl went to eat at a restaurant and the only thing on tv was a Lions game. It was brutal!

Banned

 

[hndog609]

Ok, this wasn't a "first date" but it was a first "something" in a dating process. I'll try to use as much friendly language as possible.

So myself and this girl had reached that particular point in dating where certain logistics were to be considered. She was of a hippie/artsy chick nature and wasn't into latex or hormones in the prevention of unwanted future cellular division. Her preferred method of guarding the castle gates was to use a sort of toxic foam moat to discourage unwanted swimmers from reaching the garden. All was going well with a submarine's investigatory foray into the moat...at first. After a bit a certain but distinct discomfort was sensed by the sub's captain. It was deemed a worthy mission so maintaining course and speed was continued until it became quite apparent something was very much amiss.

So humans are an interesting bunch as we all know how one thing, say a nice PB&J, can be immensely enjoyed by some but literally put others in life peril due to allergic reaction. Well it turns out something in the toxic nature of the garden protecting moat foam had a profound and unexpected reaction with part of the sub's hull. The captain's best description would be that a murder hornet was hate banging the sub's torpedo tube hatch...for about 30 minutes (in real time, perceived time was about 3 years) before tapering off.

If there's any silver lining the moat's owner was most distraught over all this and for some time after readily involved in all manner of restitutive practices for the harm done.

 

[Notorious B.E.N]

Banned

Lol

 

[05_never_again]

Ok, this wasn't a "first date" but it was a first "something" in a dating process. I'll try to use as much friendly language as possible.

So myself and this girl had reached that particular point in dating where certain logistics were to be considered. She was of a hippie/artsy chick nature and wasn't into latex or hormones in the prevention of unwanted future cellular division. Her preferred method of guarding the castle gates was to use a sort of toxic foam moat to discourage unwanted swimmers from reaching the garden. All was going well with a submarine's investigatory foray into the moat...at first. After a bit a certain but distinct discomfort was sensed by the sub's captain. It was deemed a worthy mission so maintaining course and speed was continued until it became quite apparent something was very much amiss.

So humans are an interesting bunch as we all know how one thing, say a nice PB&J, can be immensely enjoyed by some but literally put others in life peril due to allergic reaction. Well it turns out something in the toxic nature of the garden protecting moat foam had a profound and unexpected reaction with part of the sub's hull. The captain's best description would be that a murder hornet was hate banging the sub's torpedo tube hatch...for about 30 minutes (in real time, perceived time was about 3 years) before tapering off.

If there's any silver lining the moat's owner was most distraught over all this and for some time after readily involved in all manner of restitutive practices for the harm done.

Did the sub captain enter into a long term agreement with the moat owner?

 

[Plano Vol]

Did the sub captain enter into a long term agreement with the moat owner?

what, to keep the barnacles scraped off?

 

[hndog609]

Did the sub captain enter into a long term agreement with the moat owner?

Actually there was a decent ongoing voyage. To be honest the hippie/artsy side of moat owner became increasingly hippieish/artsy to the point the good Captain thought it prudent to chart other waters.

 

[MAD]

Ok, this wasn't a "first date" but it was a first "something" in a dating process. I'll try to use as much friendly language as possible.

So myself and this girl had reached that particular point in dating where certain logistics were to be considered. She was of a hippie/artsy chick nature and wasn't into latex or hormones in the prevention of unwanted future cellular division. Her preferred method of guarding the castle gates was to use a sort of toxic foam moat to discourage unwanted swimmers from reaching the garden. All was going well with a submarine's investigatory foray into the moat...at first. After a bit a certain but distinct discomfort was sensed by the sub's captain. It was deemed a worthy mission so maintaining course and speed was continued until it became quite apparent something was very much amiss.

So humans are an interesting bunch as we all know how one thing, say a nice PB&J, can be immensely enjoyed by some but literally put others in life peril due to allergic reaction. Well it turns out something in the toxic nature of the garden protecting moat foam had a profound and unexpected reaction with part of the sub's hull. The captain's best description would be that a murder hornet was hate banging the sub's torpedo tube hatch...for about 30 minutes (in real time, perceived time was about 3 years) before tapering off.

If there's any silver lining the moat's owner was most distraught over all this and for some time after readily involved in all manner of restitutive practices for the harm done.

This kind of reminds of the book left on my bookshelf when I was a kid. It was called where did I come from, but at least that story came with cartoon pictures in it.

 

[zjcvols]

I have two. Both with the same girl I dated for about three years. The first one we just kind of started, the second we had been dating for over a year and were funny looking back on it.

I was 16 and she was 18 and we went to sonic. We had just started making out and stuff a week earlier so we were being horny teenagers. She had this 1993 Toyota that was kind of on its last legs. Anyways, it’s kinda dead and we we had milkshakes and it was late so we started making out in the sonic drive thru. After about 10 minutes one of the employees says “Hey we can see you guys” and she starts freaking and I’m laughing. She goes to turn the car on and her battery is dead. I can’t stop laughing and she is beyond embarrassed. I probably should have been more sympathetic but she had to call her dad to jump us and it took 30 minutes. After the car started working she finally started to laugh.

Anyways, I paid for my laughing later. I was 18, broke and she had been paying for the last couple of dates which drove me insane. I worked a week doing hay and made a ton of money. I said “Friday night I’m taking you out wherever you want, we are gonna dress super nice, my dad is letting me borrow his nice car and I’m paying.” I come up with this romantic night and she picks Wasabi because she loves watching the cooks. I have problems with nose bleeds and I get one at the restaurant. No big deal, I can handle them. Can’t stop it. I’m trying everything. I’m in the men’s bathroom for 30 minutes and I’m getting dizzy and light headed. Two employees check on me. Then finally my girlfriend is like “we need to get you home.” It was so bad I got blood on my nice shirt. And I’m pissed and embarrassed which isn’t getting the bleeding to stop. The worst part? The car is a Chrysler Crossfire, which is super small and hard to see. She is nervous driving this thing and it’s a miserable 30 minute drive and I yelled at her because of her driving. Luckily she was super sweet and forgave me but God that was such a terrible night

 

[hndog609]

This kind of reminds of the book left on my bookshelf when I was a kid. It was called where did I come from, but at least that story came with cartoon pictures in it.

I'm guessing that one didn't include hate banging murder hornets.

 

[zjcvols]

I also know of this one dude that went on a date with a Puerto Rican chick once and it has cursed the Atlanta Braves franchise ever since.

WE MADE GAME 7 OF THE NLCS THIS YEAR YOU UNGRATEFUL BITTER MAN

 

[MAD]

I have two. Both with the same girl I dated for about three years. The first one we just kind of started, the second we had been dating for over a year and were funny looking back on it.

I was 16 and she was 18 and we went to sonic. We had just started making out and stuff a week earlier so we were being horny teenagers. She had this 1993 Toyota that was kind of on its last legs. Anyways, it’s kinda dead and we we had milkshakes and it was late so we started making out in the sonic drive thru. After about 10 minutes one of the employees says “Hey we can see you guys” and she starts freaking and I’m laughing. She goes to turn the car on and her battery is dead. I can’t stop laughing and she is beyond embarrassed. I probably should have been more sympathetic but she had to call her dad to jump us and it took 30 minutes. After the car started working she finally started to laugh.

Anyways, I paid for my laughing later. I was 18, broke and she had been paying for the last couple of dates which drove me insane. I worked a week doing hay and made a ton of money. I said “Friday night I’m taking you out wherever you want, we are gonna dress super nice, my dad is letting me borrow his nice car and I’m paying.” I come up with this romantic night and she picks Wasabi because she loves watching the cooks. I have problems with nose bleeds and I get one at the restaurant. No big deal, I can handle them. Can’t stop it. I’m trying everything. I’m in the men’s bathroom for 30 minutes and I’m getting dizzy and light headed. Two employees check on me. Then finally my girlfriend is like “we need to get you home.” It was so bad I got blood on my nice shirt. And I’m pissed and embarrassed which isn’t getting the bleeding to stop. The worst part? The car is a Chrysler Crossfire, which is super small and hard to see. She is nervous driving this thing and it’s a miserable 30 minute drive and I yelled at her because of her driving. Luckily she was super sweet and forgave me but God that was such a terrible night

The first one was cute and funny.
The second one was horrible all the way around. But the girl seems like she was sweet, sounds like you two dated a long time.

 

[zjcvols]

The first one was cute and funny.
The second one was horrible all the way around. But the girl seems like she was sweet, sounds like you two dated a long time.

She was awesome. I was an idiot (didnt cheat on her but was a dumbass and didn’t know how to treat someone right in my teenage years) and she went to Baylor so it just didn’t work out. She’s married now and a doctor.

Another funny story with her involving nose bleeds! It was a couple weeks after the sonic thing and we are on her bed making out. I was on top (just making out pervs) and had my eyes closed and was like “what is wrong with my nose” and I opened my eyes and see blood on her forehead and I freaked. She was so cool though, she laughed about it. After I got it stopped I kept apologizing profusely She was like “honestly I’m glad it was blood I thought you blew your nose on me or something” lol

 

[MAD]

She was awesome. I was an idiot (didnt cheat on her but was a dumbass and didn’t know how to treat someone right in my teenage years) and she went to Baylor so it just didn’t work out. She’s married now and a doctor.

Another funny story with her involving nose bleeds! It was a couple weeks after the sonic thing and we are on her bed making out. I was on top (just making out pervs) and had my eyes closed and was like “what is wrong with my nose” and I opened my eyes and see a huge blood on her forehead and I freaked. She was so cool though, she laughed about it. After I got it stopped I kept apologizing profusely She was like “honestly I’m glad it was blood I thought you blew your nose on me or something” lol

She sounds like the coolest.
By the way just cracked up when I saw your custom title about the kneecap lol

 

[Ace]

Took a girl to the UT/Army game in ‘86. She was from Knoxville and had never been to a game.

Walked her back to her dorm and asked that she never go to another Vols game.

Army blocked a punt and won that game. I was in the end zone where it happened

 

[GrayWaterCanine]

Army blocked a punt and won that game. I was in the end zone where it happened

Player or trespasser?

 

[zjcvols]

PART 4

It's the week after Thanksgiving and I picked up some bookkeeping gigs on the side. I'm working at my place at night and someone knocks on my door at 830 at night. Its Memphis so who knows what's on the other side. I open it up and its zombie girl. She asks to come in. She mentioned shes back in Memphis trying to get a transfer back ( she worked in energy industry in Houston and that market was in turmoil with everything circling Enron at the time). She also has 2 Tennessee Florida tickets and she was like "I bet I know who will take me to my first Tennessee game." So we made the 11 hour drive to Gainesville and saw the game.

So we met up with some friends walking into the Swamp and there were these 3 Gator frat boys that got in her face saying (Suck my D). One of the frat guys was short, one was tall, and one was a little chunky. Given how she played me on the Celine documentary, I figured she could fend for herself. She told the short one she doesnt mess with short guys, the tall guy said something and she blurted out "you're too ugly" and before the fat one could say something she told him his D was too small. She had Gator fans throwing beer bottles at her after the game for running her mouth.


The day after the UT-UF game, Enron declared BK. She got a transfer back to Memphis.

And for those who know how my family tends to get in trouble at sporting events for running their mouths, let's just say they get it from their mom....

Me seeing the end of this roller coaster

 

[Coastypop]

What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

If anyone here never dated me they haven’t had it yet

 

[C/O]

I’ve got a few. I will start with a simple tale. A tale of man fresh out of the military that was blinded by some pretty scrubs.

A cousin of mine was a nurse working in ortho. If I ever had family or some reason to visit the hospital I would pop in and say hello if she was working. As anyone that has spent time around a hospital knows, a hospital wing tends to be a VERY target rich environment.

So after visiting and chatting with my cousin, she brings up the subject of setting me up with a coworker of hers. I think score. As a man with new freedom to do as pleases fresh out of the service, I get very excited recalling all of her coworkers.

She gives me her co-workers name and I call her. We chat a couple of days on the phone, sweet voice, made me laugh, good taste in movies, etc. The real deal I’m thinking. A nurse plus personality. A win win.

We agree to meet at a public place. Blind dates were a thing back in those days. We arrange to meet at the Cracker Barrel (classy I know). She says she will be out front sitting in a rocker. She describes herself as having blonde hair and wearing a floral dress. I get excited. Blonde. Nurse. Let’s go.

I arrive at the arranged time and place. I approach the front of the store. And there it was. Sitting about 3 chairs apart were 2 girls. Both blonde and both wearing floral. All I had was a name. 1 girl was an 8 and the other was a 4 maybe a 5 on Sunday (I was like 21, I was shallow). I had no way to know which was which. I walk up in between the 2 and say ‘Brittany’. The 8 smiled, my heart skipped. But then. I heard a voice come from the 4 that I recognized. It was her. The 4 was my date. I couldn’t control myself. Before I realized it happened, I let out an audible ‘ugh’. Yes. I’m probably going to hell, I know. It gets worse.

Being the gentleman I pretended to be at the time, I had to finish the dinner. We go in, we eat, she can tell I’m not into it. Our conversations were short. My answers all 1 syllable, you know the drill. We both know there won’t be a second.

The night ends, I shake her hand goodbye. It was so tense a hug bye wouldn’t have been welcome. Awkward. Silence. Be both know my cousin will hear about it. I’m embarrassed. We go our separate ways never to meet again. Or so we thought.

Fast forward about 2 hours. I’m young, dumb, and stupid. I decide to go for a bike ride. I crawl on my Harley. No helmet, cargo shorts, a wad of tobacco, and combat boots, you know, as you do. I round a curve and catch glimpse of what to this day, I’m still not sure whether it was a raccoon or a mammoth. I lay the bike over. Road rash, hot tail pipe on calf, scraped to heck. I’m bleeding. Hurting and lying in the road. A car approaches. It stops and the driver gets out. All I can make out from the pain and the blood steaming into 1 of my eyes is bright green. It’s a set of scrubs.

The girl Brittany was on her way to work night shift that night, and happened to be the first person to come across my bruised and bloodied body. She patched me up best she could, and was an hour late to work due to helping me.

Moral of the story kids. Don’t go shirtless on a motorcycle.

 

[Regulator]

I’ve got a few. I will start with a simple tale. A tale of man fresh out of the military that was blinded by some pretty scrubs.

A cousin of mine was a nurse working in ortho. If I ever had family or some reason to visit the hospital I would pop in and say hello if she was working. As anyone that has spent time around a hospital knows, a hospital wing tends to be a VERY target rich environment.

So after visiting and chatting with my cousin, she brings up the subject of setting me up with a coworker of hers. I think score. As a man with new freedom to do as pleases fresh out of the service, I get very excited recalling all of her coworkers.

She gives me her co-workers name and I call her. We chat a couple of days on the phone, sweet voice, made me laugh, good taste in movies, etc. The real deal I’m thinking. A nurse plus personality. A win win.

We agree to meet at a public place. Blind dates were a thing back in those days. We arrange to meet at the Cracker Barrel (classy I know). She says she will be out front sitting in a rocker. She describes herself as having blonde hair and wearing a floral dress. I get excited. Blonde. Nurse. Let’s go.

I arrive at the arranged time and place. I approach the front of the store. And there it was. Sitting about 3 chairs apart were 2 girls. Both blonde and both wearing floral. All I had was a name. 1 girl was an 8 and the other was a 4 maybe a 5 on Sunday (I was like 21, I was shallow). I had no way to know which was which. I walk up in between the 2 and say ‘Brittany’. The 8 smiled, my heart skipped. But then. I heard a voice come from the 4 that I recognized. It was her. The 4 was my date. I couldn’t control myself. Before I realized it happened, I let out an audible ‘ugh’. Yes. I’m probably going to hell, I know. It gets worse.

Being the gentleman I pretended to be at the time, I had to finish the dinner. We go in, we eat, she can tell I’m not into it. Our conversations were short. My answers all 1 syllable, you know the drill. We both know there won’t be a second.

The night ends, I shake her hand goodbye. It was so tense a hug bye wouldn’t have been welcome. Awkward. Silence. Be both know my cousin will hear about it. I’m embarrassed. We go our separate ways never to meet again. Or so we thought.

Fast forward about 2 hours. I’m young, dumb, and stupid. I decide to go for a bike ride. I crawl on my Harley. No helmet, cargo shorts, a wad of tobacco, and combat boots, you know, as you do. I round a curve and catch glimpse of what to this day, I’m still not sure whether it was a raccoon or a mammoth. I lay the bike over. Road rash, hot tail pipe on calf, scraped to heck. I’m bleeding. Hurting and lying in the road. A car approaches. It stops and the driver gets out. All I can make out from the pain and the blood steaming into 1 of my eyes is bright green. It’s a set of scrubs.

The girl Brittany was on her way to work night shift that night, and happened to be the first person to come across my bruised and bloodied body. She patched me up best she could, and was an hour late to work due to helping me.

Moral of the story kids. Don’t go shirtless on a motorcycle.

Also, don’t go on blind dates.

 

[C/O]

Also, don’t go on blind dates.

Amen to that.

 

[MAD]

I’ve got a few. I will start with a simple tale. A tale of man fresh out of the military that was blinded by some pretty scrubs.

A cousin of mine was a nurse working in ortho. If I ever had family or some reason to visit the hospital I would pop in and say hello if she was working. As anyone that has spent time around a hospital knows, a hospital wing tends to be a VERY target rich environment.

So after visiting and chatting with my cousin, she brings up the subject of setting me up with a coworker of hers. I think score. As a man with new freedom to do as pleases fresh out of the service, I get very excited recalling all of her coworkers.

She gives me her co-workers name and I call her. We chat a couple of days on the phone, sweet voice, made me laugh, good taste in movies, etc. The real deal I’m thinking. A nurse plus personality. A win win.

We agree to meet at a public place. Blind dates were a thing back in those days. We arrange to meet at the Cracker Barrel (classy I know). She says she will be out front sitting in a rocker. She describes herself as having blonde hair and wearing a floral dress. I get excited. Blonde. Nurse. Let’s go.

I arrive at the arranged time and place. I approach the front of the store. And there it was. Sitting about 3 chairs apart were 2 girls. Both blonde and both wearing floral. All I had was a name. 1 girl was an 8 and the other was a 4 maybe a 5 on Sunday (I was like 21, I was shallow). I had no way to know which was which. I walk up in between the 2 and say ‘Brittany’. The 8 smiled, my heart skipped. But then. I heard a voice come from the 4 that I recognized. It was her. The 4 was my date. I couldn’t control myself. Before I realized it happened, I let out an audible ‘ugh’. Yes. I’m probably going to hell, I know. It gets worse.

Being the gentleman I pretended to be at the time, I had to finish the dinner. We go in, we eat, she can tell I’m not into it. Our conversations were short. My answers all 1 syllable, you know the drill. We both know there won’t be a second.

The night ends, I shake her hand goodbye. It was so tense a hug bye wouldn’t have been welcome. Awkward. Silence. Be both know my cousin will hear about it. I’m embarrassed. We go our separate ways never to meet again. Or so we thought.

Fast forward about 2 hours. I’m young, dumb, and stupid. I decide to go for a bike ride. I crawl on my Harley. No helmet, cargo shorts, a wad of tobacco, and combat boots, you know, as you do. I round a curve and catch glimpse of what to this day, I’m still not sure whether it was a raccoon or a mammoth. I lay the bike over. Road rash, hot tail pipe on calf, scraped to heck. I’m bleeding. Hurting and lying in the road. A car approaches. It stops and the driver gets out. All I can make out from the pain and the blood steaming into 1 of my eyes is bright green. It’s a set of scrubs.

The girl Brittany was on her way to work night shift that night, and happened to be the first person to come across my bruised and bloodied body. She patched me up best she could, and was an hour late to work due to helping me.

Moral of the story kids. Don’t go shirtless on a motorcycle.

Man that was a great read, I love how brutally honest you were.