Recruiting Forum Off Topic Thread III

[Glitch]

That was well said, and I totally agree, and it was how I raised my three kids, two of which are very happily married now. Of course the degenerates are going to come out of the woodwork now and mock you as a old fashioned, regressive prude, and exalt their own progressive promiscuous debauchery as the "enlightened" way.

 

[Glitch]

As much as it pains me, you are spot on. Many on here will say you are prudish and out of touch with the times. To me it goes to maturity. I don't think many of these kids understand the emotional aspect of sex.

That being said, were you a virgin when you got married?

No and my wife and I have told our 13 year old that. We also told her how having sex outside of marriage and pornography have caused issues in our lives. They both cause unrealistic desires or expectations of a partner that cannot be lived up to. My views on this have changed dramatically in the last few years and I want better for my kids than what I did.

Edit: As to the prudish and out of touch comments that might surface... I am not prudish. Sex is a wonderful thing when within the confines of a loving marriage. It feels good for a reason... so that we will want to procreate. In terms of being out of touch.... I am fine with that, because societies views of sex are disgusting. We are told not to objectify women but look at virtually any mainstream tv show and I can almost guarantee that there will be some form of female sexual objectification. It isn't new either. It has been happening for a long time. It is not good for our society long term IMO.

 

[Ulysees E. McGill]

As much as it pains me, you are spot on. Many on here will say you are prudish and out of touch with the times. To me it goes to maturity. I don't think many of these kids understand the emotional aspect of sex.

That being said, were you a virgin when you got married?

I myself had only been with the girl I married, but even so there is huge difference in being a virgin and being promiscuous.

 

[PoweredByTheT]

This type of case right here is what makes raising daughters particularly scary. Fathers with daughters, please talk to your girls about the importance of waiting until marriage before engaging in sexual activity. For me it is religious, but it is simply a safeguard for them so they are much less likely to end up in this type of situation. If a girl believes that she is worth waiting for and doesn't allow herself to be in situations where she is alone with a boy then the likelihood of premarital sex (in any form) is much less likely to happen. This would help reduce a wide range of societal issues (teenage pregnancy, many STDs, pornographic addiction, etc).

Plus, if a girl feels that she is worth waiting for, then she would hopefully be more particular about the young men she dates and hangs around. If she feels that a young man is someone that she could never see herself marrying, then she would probably move on to find someone more worthy of her.

The same thing goes to the fathers of boys. Please, as a father of three girls, teach your boys that they are worth waiting for too. Teach them that girls are beautiful and precious but that they are precious to you too. How many young men have found themselves in a situation where they are young and struggling only to find out that a girl they hooked up with is pregnant. Now, they either fell obligated to marry her without really loving her which isn't fair and likely ends in divorce, or they find themselves paying child support to a woman they don't really know and hoping she is raising their child properly. It is just bad news all the way around.

Sorry. This is another one of those areas where I am rather passionate about.

I was with you up until "pornography addiction" lol:...

Seriously though... I've got a daughter as well... her ass would be rainbow colored if I ever heard about her being as naive and stupid as this girl was, putting herself in that poor of a situation cause she was smitten over a celebrity athlete.

I'd pull her out of UT and home-college her

Not a joke I'm serious

 

[Glitch]

I was with you up until "pornography addiction" lol:...

Seriously though... I've got a daughter as well... her ass would be rainbow colored if I ever heard about her being as naive and stupid as this girl was, putting herself in that poor of a situation cause she was smitten over a celebrity athlete.

I'd pull her out of UT and home-college her

Not a joke I'm serious

Pornography is one of the leading causes of sexual dysfunction, infidelity, and divorce overall. Watching porn gives you an unrealistic expectation of what sex should be. Just like watching an action movie may give someone an unrealistic expectation of what their life should be like. Those people are actors and are paid to perform a certain way. Sex can be wonderful and exciting but porn is not what is meant to be. If you don't think pornography addiction is real and causing real harm to our society then I don't know how else to continue this conversation with you.

 

[Ulysees E. McGill]

I was with you up until "pornography addiction" lol:...

Seriously though... I've got a daughter as well... her ass would be rainbow colored if I ever heard about her being as naive and stupid as this girl was, putting herself in that poor of a situation cause she was smitten over a celebrity athlete.

I'd pull her out of UT and home-college her

Not a joke I'm serious

I have a really hard time believing that girl was "nieve".

 

[Tennessee Golfer]

If you are single treat the opposite sex as if that’s someone else’s future spouse. Because your future spouse is out there somewhere and you want them to be treated with the same respect.

Or I’ve heard to treat other ladies like you would your sister (not the Alabama kind of way)

 

[Ulysees E. McGill]

Look..if people want to go at it like animals, and wallow in the pig sty, then that is their business and I defend their right to do so...

Just don't suddenly jump up and declare you didn't really want to be a pig after wallowing in it.

 

[engineerVOL]

If you are single treat the opposite sex as if that’s someone else’s future spouse. Because your future spouse is out there somewhere and you want them to be treated with the same respect.

Or I’ve heard to treat other ladies like you would your sister (not the Alabama kind of way)

Amen.

“College kids doing college things.” Sheesh. Please don’t raise your kids like this people. This is not what all college kids do on the weekends.

Consensual or not they dehumanized a person. AJ and Mike deserve this trial, 100%. And I don’t mean whatever verdict drops. The court of engineerVOL’s public opinion finds them trashy people. But that’s just me

Life is not hard people. It’s hard enough to stay out of trouble doing the right thing. Keep your pants zipped up. And don’t call in your homies.

 

[Ulysees E. McGill]

Amen.

“College kids doing college things.” Sheesh. Please don’t raise your kids like this people. This is not what all college kids do on the weekends.

Consensual or not they dehumanized a person. AJ and Mike deserve this trial, 100%. And I don’t mean whatever verdict drops. The court of engineerVOL’s public opinion finds them trashy people. But that’s just me

Life is not hard people. It’s hard enough to stay out of trouble doing the right thing. Keep your pants zipped up. And don’t call in your homies.

They all dehumanized themselves.

 

[cHiZzLeVOL]

Which dolphin is the one we eat? I like that one.

Mahi Mahi

Which is a "Dolphinfish" which I don't think means it's an actual Dolphin.... But I'm not an expert and I didnt Google. So I'm just guessing.... Plus I'm no marine biologist....

 

[engineerVOL]

They all dehumanized themselves.

Yep. They sure did. And they’re all paying for it with his exposure

But call me old fashioned. She didn’t hold a gun to their head. I do hold men to a higher standard of conduct when it comes to the opposite sex. They tend the wield the power of their own penis I thought. Maybe I’m wrong.

The choice was not difficult.

 

[bignewt]

This type of case right here is what makes raising daughters particularly scary. Fathers with daughters, please talk to your girls about the importance of waiting until marriage before engaging in sexual activity. For me it is religious, but it is simply a safeguard for them so they are much less likely to end up in this type of situation. If a girl believes that she is worth waiting for and doesn't allow herself to be in situations where she is alone with a boy then the likelihood of premarital sex (in any form) is much less likely to happen. This would help reduce a wide range of societal issues (teenage pregnancy, many STDs, pornographic addiction, etc).

Plus, if a girl feels that she is worth waiting for, then she would hopefully be more particular about the young men she dates and hangs around. If she feels that a young man is someone that she could never see herself marrying, then she would probably move on to find someone more worthy of her.

The same thing goes to the fathers of boys. Please, as a father of three girls, teach your boys that they are worth waiting for too. Teach them that girls are beautiful and precious but that they are precious to you too. How many young men have found themselves in a situation where they are young and struggling only to find out that a girl they hooked up with is pregnant. Now, they either fell obligated to marry her without really loving her which isn't fair and likely ends in divorce, or they find themselves paying child support to a woman they don't really know and hoping she is raising their child properly. It is just bad news all the way around.

Sorry. This is another one of those areas where I am rather passionate about.

Put a jimmy hat on it. Problem solved.

 

[Ulysees E. McGill]

Yep. They sure did. And they’re all paying for it with his exposure

But call me old fashioned. She didn’t hold a gun to their head. I do hold men to a higher standard of conduct when it comes to the opposite sex. They tend the wield the power of their own penis I thought. Maybe I’m wrong.

The choice was not difficult.

I think they are equal in that responsibility. Women are the gatekeepers.

Cases like this are so muddy. When I was growing up rape was more clearly defined as like when a woman is grabbed while out jogging or something, or her house is broken into.

This crap is total garbage, and there is no telling what the real truth of it is just because it is he said/she said.

The fact that these girls destroyed their phones is the evidence to me that this is a garbage accusation.

 

[Glitch]

Put a jimmy hat on it. Problem solved.

That prevents many pregnancies and stds. Doesn't solve the larger societal issues.

 

[engineerVOL]

This type of case right here is what makes raising daughters particularly scary. Fathers with daughters, please talk to your girls about the importance of waiting until marriage before engaging in sexual activity. For me it is religious, but it is simply a safeguard for them so they are much less likely to end up in this type of situation. If a girl believes that she is worth waiting for and doesn't allow herself to be in situations where she is alone with a boy then the likelihood of premarital sex (in any form) is much less likely to happen. This would help reduce a wide range of societal issues (teenage pregnancy, many STDs, pornographic addiction, etc).

Plus, if a girl feels that she is worth waiting for, then she would hopefully be more particular about the young men she dates and hangs around. If she feels that a young man is someone that she could never see herself marrying, then she would probably move on to find someone more worthy of her.

The same thing goes to the fathers of boys. Please, as a father of three girls, teach your boys that they are worth waiting for too. Teach them that girls are beautiful and precious but that they are precious to you too. How many young men have found themselves in a situation where they are young and struggling only to find out that a girl they hooked up with is pregnant. Now, they either fell obligated to marry her without really loving her which isn't fair and likely ends in divorce, or they find themselves paying child support to a woman they don't really know and hoping she is raising their child properly. It is just bad news all the way around.

Sorry. This is another one of those areas where I am rather passionate about.

Same here. I have four sons. Praying each and every day the father of their future wives are giving them all the encouragement and putting the proper frame around sex. And that I am shaping my boys to be husbands worthy of such a girl.

 

[bignewt]

That prevents many pregnancies and stds. Doesn't solve the larger societal issues.

You were talking about young guys knocking up girls and the problems that arise from that. My solution was 4 words long and take 10 seconds. Its really quite simple. As to porn and its affect on society its definitely a negative I agree but devil's advocate would use your example of an action flick. Dude is jumping off a skyscraper onto a plane and landing it in a swimming pool. Most of us know that is unrealistic, why can't you see porn the same way then?

 

[Glitch]

Same here. I have four sons. Praying each and every day the father of their future wives are giving them all the encouragement and putting the proper frame around sex. And that I am shaping my boys to be husbands worthy of such a girl.

Where do you live and how old are your boys?


J/K but thank you for raising your boys that way. I hope my girls find young men that have been raised well and will be wives worthy of those young men.

 

[Glitch]

You were talking about young guys knocking up girls and the problems that arise from that. My solution was 4 words long and take 10 seconds. Its really quite simple. As to porn and its affect on society its definitely a negative I agree but devil's advocate would use your example of an action flick. Dude is jumping off a skyscraper onto a plane and landing it in a swimming pool. Most of us know that is unrealistic, why can't you see porn the same way then?

The action film was not a good comparison. That is my fault. Take TV shows based in NYC. How many young people grow up thinking that NYC apartments look like they do in many shows. It isn't close to real and they would be very disappointed if they ever actually moved there and saw what their money could get them.

 

[engineerVOL]

You were talking about young guys knocking up girls and the problems that arise from that. My solution was 4 words long and take 10 seconds. Its really quite simple. As to porn and its affect on society its definitely a negative I agree but devil's advocate would use your example of an action flick. Dude is jumping off a skyscraper onto a plane and landing it in a swimming pool. Most of us know that is unrealistic, why can't you see porn the same way then?

1. I don’t understand what point you’re making with the action flick thing.

2. Did you forget being a young’n? I tried some dumb stuff with fireworks, scaling structures, jumping off stuff. I’d wager you did too.

3. You see porn for the farce that it is when you have the right frame of reference. If that makes sense.

 

[bignewt]

The action film was not a good comparison. That is my fault. Take TV shows based in NYC. How many young people grow up thinking that NYC apartments look like they do in many shows. It isn't close to real and they would be very disappointed if they ever actually moved there and saw what their money could get them.

My point is if people watching porn think its realistic or creates unrealistic expectations they are obviously low IQ and would wind up doing the things you claim porn drives them too anyway. People were doing these things before the 2000s when porn became easily accesible.

 

[bignewt]

1. I don’t understand what point you’re making with the action flick thing.

2. Did you forget being a young’n? I tried some dumb stuff with fireworks, scaling structures, jumping off stuff. I’d wager you did too.

3. You see porn for the farce that it is when you have the right frame of reference. If that makes sense.

Read Glitch's post I was using his analogy.

2. Did I try dumb stuff sure. Did I expect to do what I saw on TV or the movies? No.

3. Its not hard to realize that super hot librarian/nurse is not really going to strip on a dime and service you. I knew that at age 14.

 

[PoweredByTheT]

Pornography is one of the leading causes of sexual dysfunction, infidelity, and divorce overall. Watching porn gives you an unrealistic expectation of what sex should be. Just like watching an action movie may give someone an unrealistic expectation of what their life should be like. Those people are actors and are paid to perform a certain way. Sex can be wonderful and exciting but porn is not what is meant to be. If you don't think pornography addiction is real and causing real harm to our society then I don't know how else to continue this conversation with you.

I respectfully disagree.

A. Sex is a perfectly healthy habit for adults to have. The whole sex-shaming, making it taboo, secretive, and blushing when talking about sex isn't productive to society. People that have sex more often are healthier and happier than people who don't. There's no shame in that.

B. Cutting people off from a perfectly natural human instinct isn't productive and can lead to sexual dysfunction more than providing a healthy environment for somebody to learn in.

e.g. Nobody has ever gotten pregnant, caught an STD, or went to jail for masturbating to pornography at an appropriate time in an appropriate place.

So if you're going to raise your children and tell them they can't touch their own bodies for any kind of sexual stimulation until they're married... you are the naive one. I don't see that as healthy for an adolescent.

C. Sex with other people prior to marriage is going to happen. Very few people... especially now... as people are shifting towards waiting until their 30's to get married, are going to be virgins are their wedding. You can hold the moral wand of encouragement and wave it around all you want, but it's unrealistic. Instead, it should certainly be encouraged to use protection at all times and if your daughter is sexually active, get her on birth control until she's old enough to take care of a child. Otherwise, you're just encouraging her to go behind your back without the tools she needs to avoid a bad outcome.

That being said, if my daughter approaches me at 13 and asks for birth control, I'm going to lock her in a basement for a while.

D. As for unrealistic expectations for sex formed through pornography... it's much more like the action movie than the New York apartment. Of course, it's fantastical and overblown, just like anything else you see on TV (even the "reality shows"). At the same time, it gives you a safe way to explore things you might be into and find a like-minded partner that's into the same things. I guess if you get into something super-weird that you can't even approach your partner with, and that's the only thing that does if for you, then that's an issue... but it's just like anything else in life...

Everything's OK in moderation.


I'm not gonna tell people how to raise their kids... that's your own business... and you guys can be prudes or hypocritical or whatever... your own business.

I'd prefer my daughter to be able to have an honest conversation with me about anything she comes across in life so I can guide her in the right direction when the time comes. Most kids are going to do what they're going to do anyway... might as well be there for them instead of pretending its a perfect world and sex/drugs don't happen in it.

Luckily I have a long way to go before I have to worry about these things.. and my opinion is fluid and could certainly change by the time that comes around.

.....

Typing this all out did make me want to go ahead and finish my basement though

 

[UTMVol76]

I respectfully disagree.

A. Sex is a perfectly healthy habit for adults to have. The whole sex-shaming, making it taboo, secretive, and blushing when talking about sex isn't productive to society. People that have sex more often are healthier and happier than people who don't. There's no shame in that.

B. Cutting people off from a perfectly natural human instinct isn't productive and can lead to sexual dysfunction more than providing a healthy environment for somebody to learn in.

e.g. Nobody has ever gotten pregnant, caught an STD, or went to jail for masturbating to pornography at an appropriate time in an appropriate place.

So if you're going to raise your children and tell them they can't touch their own bodies for any kind of sexual stimulation until they're married... you are the naive one. I don't see that as healthy for an adolescent.

C. Sex with other people prior to marriage is going to happen. Very few people... especially now... as people are shifting towards waiting until their 30's to get married, are going to be virgins are their wedding. You can hold the moral wand of encouragement and wave it around all you want, but it's unrealistic. Instead, it should certainly be encouraged to use protection at all times and if your daughter is sexually active, get her on birth control until she's old enough to take care of a child. Otherwise, you're just encouraging her to go behind your back without the tools she needs to avoid a bad outcome.

That being said, if my daughter approaches me at 13 and asks for birth control, I'm going to lock her in a basement for a while.

D. As for unrealistic expectations for sex formed through pornography... it's much more like the action movie than the New York apartment. Of course, it's fantastical and overblown, just like anything else you see on TV (even the "reality shows"). At the same time, it gives you a safe way to explore things you might be into and find a like-minded partner that's into the same things. I guess if you get into something super-weird that you can't even approach your partner with, and that's the only thing that does if for you, then that's an issue... but it's just like anything else in life...

Everything's OK in moderation.


I'm not gonna tell people how to raise their kids... that's your own business... and you guys can be prudes or hypocritical or whatever... your own business.

I'd prefer my daughter to be able to have an honest conversation with me about anything she comes across in life so I can guide her in the right direction when the time comes. Most kids are going to do what they're going to do anyway... might as well be there for them instead of pretending its a perfect world and sex/drugs don't happen in it.

Luckily I have a long way to go before I have to worry about these things.. and my opinion is fluid and could certainly change by the time that comes around.

.....

Typing this all out did make me want to go ahead and finish my basement though

On point B. Pee Wee Herman says Hi

 

[engineerVOL]

Read Glitch's post I was using his analogy.

2. Did I try dumb stuff sure. Did I expect to do what I saw on TV or the movies? No.

3. Its not hard to realize that super hot librarian/nurse is not really going to strip on a dime and service you. I knew that at age 14.

Ah gotcha. Lol