Here is excrepts from a study on school shootings since 1979....
today's parent shows weaker levels of discipline toward children-rearing regarding rules of behavior and conduct.
Ultimately the undisciplined child will behave as an undisciplined, self-centered, self-indulgent adult whose conduct could negatively impact the lives of family, neighbors, colleagues and fellow world citizens, and as a result, make life
more difficult for more than himself.
Too many children control their parents. Too often the case is such that mom and dad exert little authority. Instead they bargain with the child setting him up to have unrealistic expectations of a world that
won't conform to his demands. In the real world if a person doesn't do his job, he isn't coddled and pandered to. He's fired. A supervisor won't waste time bargaining: "okay, you can serve the burger to the customer after your smoke break... oh and feel free to smoke anywhere, as long as you work for a few minutes... okay??? ...
please?"
Nothing is more painful than hearing a parent bargain, or say "please" to their child, or fail to follow through with a demand. If at 3, 4 and 5 Little Suzie is allowed to do what she wants, when she wants, and insists that her parents say "please" (ug!) then she is going to expect to get her way on the playground and in the classroom or, worse, expect everyone to be polite. When she wants to play with the toy that Little Johnny has (and he always got everything he wanted) you can expect them to square off in the schoolyard: alas, school violence.
Let us take this one step further: is it any wonder that one day Johnny who, as a boy always got what he wanted, forces sex when he so "deserves" and "wants" because he didn't get it, even though he said "please"? Not only is he undisciplined but:
- Uncompassionate
- Basing a decision on wants without concern for another party
- Acting on emotion
- Believing that the world should cater to his wants
The kid who wields too much power at home is in for frustration and shock in the real world which will ultimately frustrate thus anger him. Who will the kid blame? Will he blame himself? No. He will blame the world for not giving him what he "rightfully" wants and deserves. The frustrated either withdraws from the world or acts out. He will ostracize, alienate, name call, fight, retaliate and attention-seek so that the world feels his presence and bows to his insatiable hunger for power, control and attention. One result is a school shooting, a mass attack at school in which a teenager holds hatred for "everyone", a hatred that may be derived from the poor discipline received at home where he was entitled to do as he wished to feel good. The kid doesn't know what to do but hate the world for denying him he believes is rightfully his.
Of course, at home, there is a fine line between teaching self-discipline and exerting punishment. Punishment teaches obedience. Discipline teaches self-control which enhances self-respect. A school shooter could be deemed "out of control", an angry kid acting on emotion and without self-discipline. Some may see it differently, that he who plans a shooting and sacrifices himself for a cause is in fact self-disciplined.
Personally, I don't believe that the murder of classmates is justifiable in any case, nor did any child before 1979. The culture has changed. Today children are justifying murder based on their anger, depression, frustration, etc. But why? Is it because children are experiencing more pain today? Perhaps. Are frustration and loneliness more prevalent among youth today? Perhaps. Might these be reasons why they justify "mass destruction" in class?
Curious to me is that most believe that school shootings are "wrong" and "bad" yet continue to live as they do, conforming to a culture prone to creating a social environment home to more school shootings then any other. They also continue to raise uncompassionate, apathetic, ill-disciplined, uncaring, self-absorbed, bullying, excluding, materialistic children. We may claim to believe school shootings are wrong but we certainly aren't role models for a "better society"; in short, we don't do the right, good, "moral" and practical things to help prevent them.