Place your bets!
What blatant lie will Donald concoct tonight for why he will NOT actually bomb Iran back "to the Stone Ages [sic]".
(1) "Iran called me. They said ‘Sir, please.’ They called me—top people, very top people—and they said, ‘Sir, please don’t do this.’ And I said, ‘Okay, but you have to respect us.’ And they agreed. Total respect now.”
(2) "I have fired my so-called 'Secretary of War' for his incompetent war-mongering and leading our country into this military operation that I NEVER WANTED!!! I have hereby appointed his replacement Snoop Dogg. Great negotiator. Very calm under pressure.”
(3) “We already won. Nobody’s ever won like this. Frankly, we don’t even need to bomb. Iran is already very scared—very, very scared. People are saying they’ve never seen fear like this. So we won. Total victory. Huge.”
(4) “The generals said it would be TOO successful. I had the best generals come in—tough guys—and they said, ‘Sir, if you do this, it will be too powerful. Too devastating.’ And I said, wow… maybe we tone it down.”
(5) “I decided to be nice. Nobody’s nicer than me. I could do it. I could do it in one hour. But I said, you know what? Let’s show compassion. I’m a very compassionate person—people don’t say it enough.”
(6)“The weather was unbelievable. You wouldn’t believe it. Terrible weather. The worst. The bombs wouldn’t look good. I said, we can’t do it unless it looks perfect. It has to look perfect.”
(7) “We have a stronger secret plan (you’ll never see it). We’re doing something much bigger. Much smarter. I can’t tell you what it is—but when you see it, you’ll say, ‘Wow, that’s genius.’”
(8) “I was about to press the button, the best button. I was literally there, finger on the button—beautiful button, by the way—and I said, you know what? Let’s give peace a chance. And everyone clapped.”