Dad Advice

#26
#26
MSUDuo said:
Currently seeing someone with 4 kids (2.5-8.5).

I've never had any desire to have kids of my own but I know I want to be a Dad. Weird, I know.

We teach at the same school (different departments). Have known each other's families since high school (graduated from same school, she's two years older).

We've been talking for 6 months, dating for a few weeks (divorce) but I know I will marry her already.

Best advice?
Click to expand...

Learn how to disagree.
 
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#28
#28
vol445 said:
I’ll leave this here any case anyone one would like to try it. Had a terrible time potty training my daughter who turned 21 yesterday. But after trying everything I finally told her and it worked. She had to feed the doo doo and pee pee man who lived in the toilet or when she hit the magic day he would make his way up the toilet and get her. Immediately she started using the toilet. I know it was awful but at 4 I was willing to try anything
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My little buckaroo has been a NIGHTMARE to get potty trained. He's 4 and one day he does great then next day it's back to diaper peeing.....It's been frustrating as hell but in just the past few weeks I think we are finally turning a corner! He's been doing a great job lately and we might finally be there, I was concerned because everyone I know that has kids was potty trained at like 2......He started preschool last year and his teacher says they have "many" kids that aren't potty trained at his age. Everything else he is where "he should be" or way ahead but potty training has been hell.
 
#29
#29
Panthro said:
Don’t pay any attention to those stupid labels like Helicopter or Lawn Mower parents. Be you and parent the best way you see fit. Put the kid first and you’ll be fine, whether you’re a hummingbird parent or a whatever is taboo this week.
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I have to disagree with you on the bold. Put your relationship with your spouse first and let the kid understand that they do not rule the roost.
 
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#30
#30
YankeeVol said:
Eating disorders are a whole different thing (not saying that's what it is, and I'm no professional), but I'd still want to seek further answers.
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I agree on this. Just to be safe. If you have her evaluated and there is no eating disorder, great. If you don't...And there is....

I personally don't see eating till you puke every time as normal. Have a nephew-in-law that always did that. Would even hide loads of candy under his pillows. He made sure he got his, and then some. and usually first.
 
#31
#31
vol445 said:
I’ll leave this here any case anyone one would like to try it. Had a terrible time potty training my daughter who turned 21 yesterday. But after trying everything I finally told her and it worked. She had to feed the doo doo and pee pee man who lived in the toilet or when she hit the magic day he would make his way up the toilet and get her. Immediately she started using the toilet. I know it was awful but at 4 I was willing to try anything
Click to expand...

So, after 21 years you found a method that worked ?!
 
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#32
#32
Hoosier_Vol said:
My little buckaroo has been a NIGHTMARE to get potty trained. He's 4 and one day he does great then next day it's back to diaper peeing.....It's been frustrating as hell but in just the past few weeks I think we are finally turning a corner! He's been doing a great job lately and we might finally be there, I was concerned because everyone I know that has kids was potty trained at like 2......He started preschool last year and his teacher says they have "many" kids that aren't potty trained at his age. Everything else he is where "he should be" or way ahead but potty training has been hell.
Click to expand...
Yeah, I would say potty training kids super young is not quite worth it, if you have to go help them every time because they're not tall enough to sit on the big potty yet.
 
#34
#34
I know we were raised more or less conservative. I also know my brother and sister didn't raise theirs like mom and dad raised us. I'm more particular to how I was raised those still not quite as strict as my parents were. My 4 nieces and nephews don't really seem to have a commitment to much of anything. except partying. One is a heroine addict. been in and out of trouble since teenager. His parents in late 50's ( my sister) still smoke weed, is fried themselves, and see no issues with how having the son buy their weed sometimes affects everything cause it's "not a gateway" drug....I could go for days on this crap.


Bottom line...Have some standards you parent to, and stick to them. Be consistent. Be a parent. Not a friend. And discipline out of love, yet do not avoid discipline. My respect as an adult for my parents is unparalleled, because they were parents.
 
#38
#38
My oldest is 5 and about to start Kindergarten. Potty training was by far the worst thing to get him to do so far. Finally one day at 3 1/2 he just one day decided he’d start using the toilet for #2 and had no issues after that. I think we probably made too big of a deal about it, and that contributed to his stubbornness.

Same thing as you though, lot of anxiousness on our part when he started doing Mother’s Day our/pre-school stuff.
 
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#39
#39
bmaultbay said:
My three daughters have all grown and gone. I was never home, lived the military life and my wife raised the girls. Great job too. All my girls are successful in life and career's and I don't take any credit as I wasn't there, but still a proud father of three great women and the woman who raised them.
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You probably contributed more than you know. I grew up a military brat, with my dad gone all the time as well. Any semblance of a work ethic that I have came from watching him.
 
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#40
#40
vol445 said:
I’ll leave this here any case anyone one would like to try it. Had a terrible time potty training my daughter who turned 21 yesterday. But after trying everything I finally told her and it worked. She had to feed the doo doo and pee pee man who lived in the toilet or when she hit the magic day he would make his way up the toilet and get her. Immediately she started using the toilet. I know it was awful but at 4 I was willing to try anything
Click to expand...

The doo doo man is going to getcha!

LMFAO!!!
 
#41
#41
MSUDuo said:
Currently seeing someone with 4 kids (2.5-8.5).

I've never had any desire to have kids of my own but I know I want to be a Dad. Weird, I know.

We teach at the same school (different departments). Have known each other's families since high school (graduated from same school, she's two years older).

We've been talking for 6 months, dating for a few weeks (divorce) but I know I will marry her already.

Best advice?
Click to expand...

It's a package deal. My step-son was never treated like anything other than my son. He will tell you I've been more of a father than his own.
 
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#43
#43
Potty training our son was and adventure. We started him at about 16 months and he did awesome with the peeing part, not a single accident from day 1. Pooping on the other hand was another matter. He'd not poop all day till after his bath when we'd put a pull-up on him for bed. As soon as the pull-up got on, he'd run up to someone, yell "I'm pooping " and fill it full. We tried everything, changing routine, waiting to put pull-up on, putting underwear on, letting him run naked , or anything else. Nothing worked always the same, he'd wait till we had to put it on before bed, and then "I'm pooping ". Suddenly on his 2nd birthday he said "I'm a big boy now. " went and pooped in the potty and we never had an issue after.

As for the rest of it I agree with putting your marriage first, that is your foundation for your family life. If your foundation is unstable then it doesn't matter how good of a parent you try to be, everything will be rocky. As much as humanity possible try to get on the same page with spouses, kids can sense disagreement and can be vicious playing one parent against other to get their way. Always remember, you will screw up, we all do, there are no perfect parents. As long as all the body parts are still attached in relatively their original spots they usually bounce back pretty good.
 
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#44
#44
I've learned having 3 daughters if they won't pick up their clothes, then threaten to throw them in the trash. If they don't listen, do it one time, and they tend to do it the first time you ask after that. 😂 Works the same with phones. My 2 youngest got into a fight during our vacation last week over a phone charger while I was driving. I had my wife take their phones, and I told them one more word and I'd sling them out the window in Wyoming doing 90 mph, they shut up. 😄
 
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#45
#45
hog88 said:
I have to disagree with you on the bold. Put your relationship with your spouse first and let the kid understand that they do not rule the roost.
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Exactly! I erased a post just now for being too wordy. Marriage is top priority. Raising kids in-step with one another is fun. There’s a time for judgment and a time for mercy.
 
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#47
#47
MSUDuo said:
Currently seeing someone with 4 kids (2.5-8.5).

I've never had any desire to have kids of my own but I know I want to be a Dad. Weird, I know.

We teach at the same school (different departments). Have known each other's families since high school (graduated from same school, she's two years older).

We've been talking for 6 months, dating for a few weeks (divorce) but I know I will marry her already.

Best advice?
Click to expand...
1564800605396.gif1564800605396.gif
 
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#48
#48
joevol33 said:
I've learned having 3 daughters if they won't pick up their clothes, then threaten to throw them in the trash. If they don't listen, do it one time, and they tend to do it the first time you ask after that. 😂 Works the same with phones. My 2 youngest got into a fight during our vacation last week over a phone charger while I was driving. I had my wife take their phones, and I told them one more word and I'd sling them out the window in Wyoming doing 90 mph, they shut up. 😄
Click to expand...

You should slow down to 77, that way if you crash at least some of the organs can still be harvested.
 
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#50
#50
MSUDuo said:
Currently seeing someone with 4 kids (2.5-8.5).

I've never had any desire to have kids of my own but I know I want to be a Dad. Weird, I know.

We teach at the same school (different departments). Have known each other's families since high school (graduated from same school, she's two years older).

We've been talking for 6 months, dating for a few weeks (divorce) but I know I will marry her already.

Best advice?
Click to expand...

Slow down. Not sure who got divorced a few weeks ago, you or her, but I would definitely avoid talking about marriage now.

I’ve been divorced. It took me at least a year to get my head cleared out. Not saying you need to stop seeing each other but don’t make any big decisions for awhile.

If for no other reason, those kids need to get adjusted to the 2 of you. The worst thing for them would be the 2 of you get married and then find out that it isn’t a good thing and you get divorced.

So, my advice would be slow way down, like from 80 mph to 30 mph.
 
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