Dad Advice

#51

508mikey

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#51
Currently seeing someone with 4 kids (2.5-8.5).

I've never had any desire to have kids of my own but I know I want to be a Dad. Weird, I know.

We teach at the same school (different departments). Have known each other's families since high school (graduated from same school, she's two years older).

We've been talking for 6 months, dating for a few weeks (divorce) but I know I will marry her already.

Best advice?
Is the dad still in the picture ?
 
#53

MSUDuo

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#53
Slow down. Not sure who got divorced a few weeks ago, you or her, but I would definitely avoid talking about marriage now.

I’ve been divorced. It took me at least a year to get my head cleared out. Not saying you need to stop seeing each other but don’t make any big decisions for awhile.

If for no other reason, those kids need to get adjusted to the 2 of you. The worst thing for them would be the 2 of you get married and then find out that it isn’t a good thing and you get divorced.

So, my advice would be slow way down, like from 80 mph to 30 mph.
We're both divorced, I have no kids. That's the reason for mine, I didn't want my own.

Her's was finalized recently. She's been separated since December and has been checked out for a couple of years.

Thankfully the kids know me through school as well. I am a coach and they have been involved in the intramurals we put on for the younger kids. Not to mention their grandpa is my Sunday School teacher and we have interacted through church as well (VBS, etc).

But I get what you're saying. I'm not saying I've brought up the marriage word, I am just saying I feel like I know I will.
 
#55

hog88

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#55
We're both divorced, I have no kids. That's the reason for mine, I didn't want my own.

Her's was finalized recently. She's been separated since December and has been checked out for a couple of years.

Thankfully the kids know me through school as well. I am a coach and they have been involved in the intramurals we put on for the younger kids. Not to mention their grandpa is my Sunday School teacher and we have interacted through church as well (VBS, etc).

But I get what you're saying. I'm not saying I've brought up the marriage word, I am just saying I feel like I know I will.
Run and do not look back.
 
#56

g8terh8ter_eric

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#56
We're both divorced, I have no kids. That's the reason for mine, I didn't want my own.

Her's was finalized recently. She's been separated since December and has been checked out for a couple of years.

Thankfully the kids know me through school as well. I am a coach and they have been involved in the intramurals we put on for the younger kids. Not to mention their grandpa is my Sunday School teacher and we have interacted through church as well (VBS, etc).

But I get what you're saying. I'm not saying I've brought up the marriage word, I am just saying I feel like I know I will.
Slow down a little on the marriage part, especially in your head. You will create unrealistic expectations for her, and you won't even know it until you've already done it.

Enjoy your time with her, and let her get past her past. She has a full plate with the 4 kiddos, and the abusive ex.

Don't be an added burden in her life, be the person she can enjoy time with and be an outlet to talk about her frustrations and let her vent.

I'm sure she will appreciate that more than another ring and last name at this point.
 
#57

golfballs

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#57
I’m kind of curious about this whole flat head thing. In the 90s drs started recommending that babies sleep on their backs. And now all these kids have flat heads. Someone I know put their kid in one of those helmets. He wore it 23 hours a day for 8 months! Now he has a flat head and a strangely shaped skull. Where’s this going? Will some sleep product be developed to prevent it? Or will doctors reverse themselves and say that maybe belly sleeping doesn’t really cause sids? Or will future humans all have some varying degree of flat head?
 
#58

508mikey

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#58
I’m kind of curious about this whole flat head thing. In the 90s drs started recommending that babies sleep on their backs. And now all these kids have flat heads. Someone I know put their kid in one of those helmets. He wore it 23 hours a day for 8 months! Now he has a flat head and a strangely shaped skull. Where’s this going? Will some sleep product be developed to prevent it? Or will doctors reverse themselves and say that maybe belly sleeping doesn’t really cause sids? Or will future humans all have some varying degree of flat head?
actually I read something about this just passing some time, and it said the helmet will not work if the baby is over 1 year old
 
#63

n_huffhines

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#63
My baby girl just turned 1 last week and she watches this Netflix nursery rhyme show called Little Baby Bum. Literally, every time the rhyme about Old Mother Hubbard comes on, she starts crying hard. I'm trying to extrapolate all kinds of meaning, and I'm probably making too big of a deal about it. Is this a good thing? Does it mean she has incredible empathy? Does it mean she's going to be emo? Depressed? Is she even crying about the story being sad, or is it something else I'm not understanding.

It's so bizarre, but the way it's made my mind race makes me realize I'm in for a wild ride.
 
#64

OldandStillaVol

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#64
My baby girl just turned 1 last week and she watches this Netflix nursery rhyme show called Little Baby Bum. Literally, every time the rhyme about Old Mother Hubbard comes on, she starts crying hard. I'm trying to extrapolate all kinds of meaning, and I'm probably making too big of a deal about it. Is this a good thing? Does it mean she has incredible empathy? Does it mean she's going to be emo? Depressed? Is she even crying about the story being sad, or is it something else I'm not understanding.

It's so bizarre, but the way it's made my mind race makes me realize I'm in for a wild ride.
My guess is that she doesn’t like the sound for whatever reason. I’d just turn the sound down and see if that stops it. Not a big deal. Relax and enjoy your little girl.
 
#68

n_huffhines

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#68
My guess is that she doesn’t like the sound for whatever reason. I’d just turn the sound down and see if that stops it. Not a big deal. Relax and enjoy your little girl.
Definitely wasn't the tune. I put on the audio alone and she didn't cry. Put video only on and she started to cry. I guess it's possible she doesn't like the old lady, but characters re-appear in other segments and she hasn't cried on other songs, tho I'm not totally sure OMH is on other segments.
 
#69

82_VOL_83

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#69
We asked her pediatrician and she said that she’s in normal weight. But we didn’t ask about the psychology of it.
Back it off now, monitor what she eats vs. quantity. CUT OUT SUGAR! Tell Grandparents that if she eats like that at their house they will need to come see you. Weight is a huge issue, especially about 10 years from now when it's on and it's worse than quitting smoking to get it back off.
 
#70

82_VOL_83

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#70
My baby girl just turned 1 last week and she watches this Netflix nursery rhyme show called Little Baby Bum. Literally, every time the rhyme about Old Mother Hubbard comes on, she starts crying hard. I'm trying to extrapolate all kinds of meaning, and I'm probably making too big of a deal about it. Is this a good thing? Does it mean she has incredible empathy? Does it mean she's going to be emo? Depressed? Is she even crying about the story being sad, or is it something else I'm not understanding.

It's so bizarre, but the way it's made my mind race makes me realize I'm in for a wild ride.
Can you say parental over reaction? Turn that Baby Bum SH*T off. It's mind numbing.
 
#71

rich4pres

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#71
I have a 15 month old and I am constantly worrying. Everything I see on the news (babies drowning, locked in hot car, choking) will get me bothered all day long. I am constantly worrying something will happen to him. Does this feeling ever go away?
 
#73

Obsessed

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#73
Definitely wasn't the tune. I put on the audio alone and she didn't cry. Put video only on and she started to cry. I guess it's possible she doesn't like the old lady, but characters re-appear in other segments and she hasn't cried on other songs, tho I'm not totally sure OMH is on other segments.
When my son was about 2 years old he started crying every time he would hear the song “Jesus take the wheel” by Carrie Underwood.

He took song as a sad song where someone died.
Children, especially the little ones, are very perceptive

His pediatrician told me when he was born that babies will learn more their first three years of life, than the rest of the life.
 
#74

Obsessed

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#74
I have a 15 month old and I am constantly worrying. Everything I see on the news (babies drowning, locked in hot car, choking) will get me bothered all day long. I am constantly worrying something will happen to him. Does this feeling ever go away?
It’s normal. My son just turned 17 and I still worry like that about him.
 

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