Dad Advice

#6
#6
I have a question. Seriously. I have one kid that never eats, can’t get her to eat, especially meat. She’s about to be 7. I have another daughter turning 9 later this year and she would eat until she vomited if I let her. Her grandparents do unfortunately, and she has made herself sick from eating. I’m worried that she’s building bad habits now that will affect her in the future. Until recently I was the same and was overweight. Is it too soon to worry about that?

What do I do?
 
#7
#7
Bassmaster_Vol said:
I have a question. Seriously. I have one kid that never eats, can’t get her to eat, especially meat. She’s about to be 7. I have another daughter turning 9 later this year and she would eat until she vomited if I let her. Her grandparents do unfortunately, and she has made herself sick from eating. I’m worried that she’s building bad habits now that will affect her in the future. Until recently I was the same and was overweight. Is it too soon to worry about that?

What do I do?
Click to expand...
I'd have a medical professional talk/examine/whatever they do to the overeater. Especially if you were the same way.
 
#8
#8
YankeeVol said:
I'd have a medical professional talk/examine/whatever they do to the overeater. Especially if you were the same way.
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We asked her pediatrician and she said that she’s in normal weight. But we didn’t ask about the psychology of it.
 
#9
#9
Bassmaster_Vol said:
We asked her pediatrician and she said that she’s in normal weight. But we didn’t ask about the psychology of it.
Click to expand...
Eating disorders are a whole different thing (not saying that's what it is, and I'm no professional), but I'd still want to seek further answers.
 
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#10
#10
Bassmaster_Vol said:
I have a question. Seriously. I have one kid that never eats, can’t get her to eat, especially meat. She’s about to be 7. I have another daughter turning 9 later this year and she would eat until she vomited if I let her. Her grandparents do unfortunately, and she has made herself sick from eating. I’m worried that she’s building bad habits now that will affect her in the future. Until recently I was the same and was overweight. Is it too soon to worry about that?

What do I do?
Click to expand...
As long as the seven year old is healthy, she's fine. My youngest went through what we call her fruit bat phase. Are almost nothing but fruit. Now she's rivals her older brother for how much she eats. We do have a rule that everyone had to try a bite of everything. If you don't like/want to eat it, that's fine, they didn't have to eat it but they did have to take one bite. And we don't make alternative food they like better.

For your older one, definitely not too early to build good habits. Talk to a professional for sure but encourage her to stop when she's satisfied, not when she's full. Remember it's a long term endeavor and do it consistently and lovingly (even when you're frustrated with it). Make sure you're modeling it for her too. Show her it's ok not to eat everything. Help her learn portion sizes and encourage her to eat slow and drink plenty of water. She may fight you but stay strong with it.
 
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#11
#11
3rdDegreeVol said:
As long as the seven year old is healthy, she's fine. My youngest went through what we call her fruit bat phase. Are almost nothing but fruit. Now she's rivals her older brother for how much she eats. We do have a rule that everyone had to try a bite of everything. If you don't like/want to eat it, that's fine, they didn't have to eat it but they did have to take one bite. And we don't make alternative food they like better.

For your older one, definitely not too early to build good habits. Talk to a professional for sure but encourage her to stop when she's satisfied, not when she's full. Remember it's a long term endeavor and do it consistently and lovingly (even when you're frustrated with it). Make sure you're modeling it for her too. Show her it's ok not to eat everything. Help her learn portion sizes and encourage her to eat slow and drink plenty of water. She may fight you but stay strong with it.
Click to expand...
Thank you
 
#12
#12
Bassmaster_Vol said:
We asked her pediatrician and she said that she’s in normal weight. But we didn’t ask about the psychology of it.
Click to expand...

overeating is fine, if you're burning 5-6000 calories a day.

that was bad Michael Phelps joke. Hope everything is ok Bass.
 
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#13
#13
My daughter used to eat like a bird, two pecks and flew away. We tried to make her eat, with no success. the Dr said she will eat when she’s hungry. She’s almost 12 and eats constantly now.

As far as babies, good luck. No two are the same. The hardest part is the lack of sleep. The best part is the bond you create. There’s nothing better on this Earth than that.
 
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#14
#14
3rdDegreeVol said:
We do have a rule that everyone had to try a bite of everything. If you don't like/want to eat it, that's fine, they didn't have to eat it but they did have to take one bite.
Click to expand...
We have the exact same rule. “You don’t have to like it but you do have to try it.”

My oldest (9 year old) is my picky one. We just keep trying things. I’m seeing her taste buds expand. For instance, she finally ate popcorn shrimp when we went to the beach this summer. For the longest time, we had to sneak protein in “shakes.” I would make a fruit shake in the Vitamix with Greek yogurt and whey protein in it. She’s now starting to like hamburgers, but no condiments yet. She’s also old enough to recognize that she needs the right foods for good health, e.g. natural foods, proteins, etc.

Bass, I’m much the same way with food. I have yo-yo’d most of my life as a result of binge periods. Thankfully I exercise enough to keep in a good range. It’s an addiction though, plain and simple. Never too early to start identifying those things with your daughter.
 
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#15
#15
Bassmaster_Vol said:
I have a question. Seriously. I have one kid that never eats, can’t get her to eat, especially meat. She’s about to be 7. I have another daughter turning 9 later this year and she would eat until she vomited if I let her. Her grandparents do unfortunately, and she has made herself sick from eating. I’m worried that she’s building bad habits now that will affect her in the future. Until recently I was the same and was overweight. Is it too soon to worry about that?

What do I do?
Click to expand...
My five year old has long and thick hair and she kept getting it knotted up and getting toothpaste/syrup/etc in it and the one thing that fixed it was that I sat by her bed and talked to her for 30 minutes. Not exactly the best example, but in that talk I told her what would happen if she never brushed her hair, we'd have to cut it off for getting in knots, etc. The whole conversation I made sure she was making eye contact with me so she was engaged. The kind of talk I always want to have with my kids, but never make/have the time for. Literally the next morning she got up and brushed her hair and has every day since then. She does better than her big sisters even. I yelled at her for months to brush her hair, but that talk made the difference.

With your situation, it sounds like you have some real world personal experience in that field that you can draw from, which will work to your advantage.

The biggest thing that makes sense to my kids and that I've found helpful in conversations with them, is the why behind the what. If you can get her to understand why she should eat a normal amount of food, I bet she'll turn around. Pulling rabbits out of my hat helps too ("did you know that there are people in the world that don't have any food to eat?"). That kind of cements it in their mind.

I once read that if you want to make sure to remember you did something (lock the front door before you leave, turn off the oven, etc), then just do something ridiculous, like spin in a circle, scream, hum a song, or bang on the counter, and your mind will remember easier. It won't remember the ridiculous thing you did, but you'll remember you turned off the oven! I've tried it and it works.

For your situation, bringing out something like I said above is related, but is also new to her and emotionally grabbing, so it may work in the same way as my memory example.

Hopefully, some of this helps, I'd try it before taking her to a Dr.
 
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#16
#16
mrmax86 said:
My five year old has long and thick hair and she kept getting it knotted up and getting toothpaste/syrup/etc in it and the one thing that fixed it was that I sat by her bed and talked to her for 30 minutes. Not exactly the best example, but in that talk I told her what would happen if she never brushed her hair, we'd have to cut it off for getting in knots, etc. The whole conversation I made sure she was making eye contact with me so she was engaged. The kind of talk I always want to have with my kids, but never make/have the time for. Literally the next morning she got up and brushed her hair and has every day since then. She does better than her big sisters even. I yelled at her for months to stop, but that talk made the difference.

With your situation, it sounds like you have some real world personal experience in that field that you can draw from, which will work to your advantage.

The biggest thing that makes sense to my kids and that I've found helpful in conversations with them, is the why behind the what. If you can get her to understand why she should eat a normal amount of food, I bet she'll turn around. Pulling rabbits out of my hat helps too ("did you know that there are people in the world that don't have any food to eat?"). That kind of cements it in their mind.

I once read that if you want to make sure to remember you did something (lock the front door before you leave, turn off the oven, etc), then just do something ridiculous, like spin in a circle, scream, hum a song, or bang on the counter, and your mind will remember easier. It won't remember the ridiculous thing you did, but you'll remember you turned off the oven! I've tried it and it works.

For your situation, bringing out something like I said above is related, but is also new to her and emotionally grabbing, so it may work in the same way as my memory example.

Hopefully, some of this helps, I'd try it before taking her to a Dr.
Click to expand...
That helps a lot, thanks!
 
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#17
#17
I have a 10 month old... best part of the day is whenhe comes for me after work and says daddy. I would caution New dads to learn to be able to step back and take it all in... it goes really fast and can be overwhelming at times.. of your married remember you’re on the same team and you won’t get these chances again so make the most of it and don’t sweat the small stuff laughing is good Medicine.
 
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#18
#18
Brillovol said:
We have the exact same rule. “You don’t have to like it but you do have to try it.”

My oldest (9 year old) is my picky one. We just keep trying things. I’m seeing her taste buds expand. For instance, she finally ate popcorn shrimp when we went to the beach this summer. For the longest time, we had to sneak protein in “shakes.” I would make a fruit shake in the Vitamix with Greek yogurt and whey protein in it. She’s now starting to like hamburgers, but no condiments yet. She’s also old enough to recognize that she needs the right foods for good health, e.g. natural foods, proteins, etc.

Bass, I’m much the same way with food. I have yo-yo’d most of my life as a result of binge periods. Thankfully I exercise enough to keep in a good range. It’s an addiction though, plain and simple. Never too early to start identifying those things with your daughter.
Click to expand...
One of the best things we've done for picky eaters (although we weren't aware of it at the time), was to watch Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern. After seeing the crazy things he tries, and the fact that he doesn't like everything but he does like most stuff, getting the kids to try more mundane things became a whole lot easier. They were even willing to try, without being forced, braised chicken feet when we went out for dim sum. I don't think any of them will ever eat chicken feet again but they sure seem proud that they tried it.
 
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#19
#19
3rdDegreeVol said:
One of the best things we've done for picky eaters (although we weren't aware of it at the time), was to watch Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern. After seeing the crazy things he tries, and the fact that he doesn't like everything but he does like most stuff, getting the kids to try more mundane things became a whole lot easier. They were even willing to try, without being forced, braised chicken feet when we went out for dim sum. I don't think any of them will ever eat chicken feet again but they sure seem proud that they tried it.
Click to expand...
RealHeavyAnemone-size_restricted.gif
 
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#21
#21
I’ll leave this here any case anyone one would like to try it. Had a terrible time potty training my daughter who turned 21 yesterday. But after trying everything I finally told her and it worked. She had to feed the doo doo and pee pee man who lived in the toilet or when she hit the magic day he would make his way up the toilet and get her. Immediately she started using the toilet. I know it was awful but at 4 I was willing to try anything
 
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#22
#22
3rdDegreeVol said:
As long as the seven year old is healthy, she's fine. My youngest went through what we call her fruit bat phase. Are almost nothing but fruit. Now she's rivals her older brother for how much she eats. We do have a rule that everyone had to try a bite of everything. If you don't like/want to eat it, that's fine, they didn't have to eat it but they did have to take one bite. And we don't make alternative food they like better.

For your older one, definitely not too early to build good habits. Talk to a professional for sure but encourage her to stop when she's satisfied, not when she's full. Remember it's a long term endeavor and do it consistently and lovingly (even when you're frustrated with it). Make sure you're modeling it for her too. Show her it's ok not to eat everything. Help her learn portion sizes and encourage her to eat slow and drink plenty of water. She may fight you but stay strong with it.
Click to expand...

Agreed. Portion sizes are key. I battle that at 40-plus. We started letting our kids help cook with us too. Adds an opportunity to learn about the food and make it more than something that just shows up on the plate.
 
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#23
#23
My three daughters have all grown and gone. I was never home, lived the military life and my wife raised the girls. Great job too. All my girls are successful in life and career's and I don't take any credit as I wasn't there, but still a proud father of three great women and the woman who raised them.
 
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#24
#24
And here’s the other thing - my wife and I have 5 kiddos. Ran into one of my neighbors at the store today, and he said, we’re still trying to figure it out with one. Here’s a secret - my wife and I are still trying to figure it out with five. They’re all different, but the entire experience is amazing. No matter how many kids you have, it’s a full house, and it’s the best thing that could happen. Although I know I won’t know how to deal with every situation, I am certain I was born to be a dad, and I love these kiddos and the challenges and joys they bring me every day.
 
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#25
#25
Currently seeing someone with 4 kids (2.5-8.5).

I've never had any desire to have kids of my own but I know I want to be a Dad. Weird, I know.

We teach at the same school (different departments). Have known each other's families since high school (graduated from same school, she's two years older).

We've been talking for 6 months, dating for a few weeks (divorce) but I know I will marry her already.

Best advice?
 
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