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#37,129
#37,129
I hadn't read the LSU Corn Dog Story in a long time but thought I should post it for anyone wondering "why corn dogs?". Legend says it was originally posted on an Auburn Message board in 2006. It should be required reading for anyone heading to Baton Rogue this weekend. Be safe VOL Fans.

************************************************

LSU fans smell just like corn dogs.
Yes, it is often said, but so, so true.
LSU fans do smell like corn dogs.
I would never tell them that to their face though. This is something better said at internet distances. Even now, I am afraid.
I am afraid that they’ll know I said it. I’ll walk past an LSU fan someday, and he’ll see that look in my eye that gives it away. That look that says, “gee, what is that smell? Is it corn dogs?” The next thing you know, I’ll have flat tires on my car.
If you only learn one thing from me today, remember not to tell LSU fans how they smell – you know, like corn dogs.
LSU fans seem, somehow, sensitive to that whole corn dog issue. I think this may be why a lot of fans get beaten up by LSU fans. If you attend a game in Baton Rouge, try to avoid telling them that they smell like corn dogs. Say something else instead. Like, “Wow, LSU sure does have a great team this year. This is going to be a great SEC game.”
It’s hard. I know. It’s like when you’re having sex and you try to think about baseball. That corn dog smell is just so overwhelming. It makes it hard for you to think about football or baseball or whatever else. Your brain wanders into corn dog topics like: “Gee, I wonder if I took a bite of your finger, if you would taste just like a corn dog?”; or “Is this a real person or is it a giant corn dog trying to make me think it is a real person?” or “What did that giant corn dog just say?” or “Excuse me, Mister, why is it that you smell just exactly like corn dogs smell?” or, of course, after a silencer: “Madam, did you just let the corn dogs out?”
Heck, after what I’ve heard about LSU fans, I think it may be better not to smell them at all. Okay, not all of them. Some of them are nice. Sure. Smell the nice ones. That’s okay.
You know what else is a bad thing to do? Holding your nose around them. They are real sensitive to that, too. Try holding your breath. But don’t be obvious about it. Somehow they know you’re trying not to breathe in the corn dog smell. And that offends them. They’ll likely punch you for that if they catch on to what you’re doing.
If you do breathe it in long enough, though, it’ll permeate your whole body, and then you’ll smell like a corn dog just like they do. But don’t say, “Dang, now I smell like a corn dog.” They take offense to that. And they will throw things. But not corn dogs. Hard stuff. Stuff that leaves bruises and makes you bleed. Then you may have to get stitches or something. Just don’t say it. If you do start smelling like a corn dog, just shut up about it. Okay?
I think kids are acutely aware of corn dog smells too. Counsel your kids on how to behave around LSU fans. If LSU fans are driving around town, do not let your kids stick their heads out of your car window and sniff the air. No. Keep your windows rolled up. An odd change in their expression – indicating they smell corn dogs – might get a wrench or pipe or some other object tossed at your windshield. So, that’s dangerous. Let your kids stick their heads out of the car windows as you drive – on some other weekend.
I know you are just as puzzled as I am about some of this corn dog stuff. What puzzles me most is that I’ve never actually seen any of these LSU fans with a corn dog in their hand. Okay, maybe there’s no mystery there – maybe they already ate the corn dogs. Who knows? Maybe there’s a corn dog factory in Baton Rouge and they all work there. Maybe, there’s a corn dog lotion that they wear, or a French perfume. Maybe their city council puts corn dog juice in the water supply – kind of like fluoride. The politics there are probably weird. The big political issue during the city election is whether they should add more ketchup or more mustard to the water. Don’t comment on it though. It’s not politically correct over there. It’s like a malnutrition issue or something. It’s like the corn dogs are probably added to the water to prevent starvation or something.
I know when you go to Baton Rouge, you’re thinking: “Ahhhh. Here I am in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I’ll bet the people here smell just like boiled crawfish or shrimp etoufe’ or some fancy Cajun food.” But just stop thinking that. That’s just a myth. They smell just like corn dogs.
In fact, please listen to my advice. Leave them alone about the corn dog odor. And don’t try masking the odor with something stronger. They’ll curse at you. They’ll say something like: “WTF, how dare you smoke a cigar in my home,” or “WTF!! Are you too good for the smell of corn dogs?” and they’ll cuss out your kids too: “WTF!!! Little Mister fancy pants over here acts like he doesn’t want to smell like corn dogs.”
Cajuns are not like us. Don’t you see that, yet? They are really sensitive about being sniffed and about their corn dog aroma. They know they smell like corn dogs and it is no laughing matter to them at all. I know, I know. We sniff the Bammers and the UGA Dawgs and the Ole messes, and we keep a straight face with each of them, but don’t press your luck with the Cajun tiger fans. Don’t refer to Death Valley as corn dog valley either. I mean that’s just wrong. Even if you’ve been drinking, they’ll beat you up and curse out your kids.
Along these lines, be extra careful when you laugh in their direction – even if you’re laughing about something else. Like baseball or football, or sex or whatever. If you can’t control yourself and you must laugh though, do not snort. The snorting makes them think that you smell their corn dog body odor from a distance or that you’re choking on it or something. They’ll likely burn your van for that. We lost a campus building over just one snort.
So, just remember. You can love one another without sniffing each other. You can enjoy the clash of a couple of good football teams. You can enjoy the thrill of the rivalry. But after the game, please heed my words. Please just move along. No sniffing the opposing fans this Saturday. Okay? Get your corn dog jollies at home.
Enough with this corn dog talk. Let’s play ball…

************************************************

GBO
 
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#37,130
#37,130
OrangeBlood4life said:
You show me the most beautiful woman in the world, and I can show you someone that's sick of her sh*t
Click to expand...

And I can probably show you more that’s sick of Tom Brady…

Retire….raise your kids in a true family and not a broken home. Get your competitive spirit out in a different way. It’s past time.
 
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#37,131
#37,131
TN-POSSUM said:
I hadn't read the LSU Corn Dog Story in a long time but thought I should post it for anyone wondering "why corn dogs?". Legend says it was originally posted on an Auburn Message board in 2006. It should be required reading for anyone heading to Baton Rogue this weekend. Be safe VOL Fans.

************************************************

LSU fans smell just like corn dogs.
Yes, it is often said, but so, so true.
LSU fans do smell like corn dogs.
I would never tell them that to their face though. This is something better said at internet distances. Even now, I am afraid.
I am afraid that they’ll know I said it. I’ll walk past an LSU fan someday, and he’ll see that look in my eye that gives it away. That look that says, “gee, what is that smell? Is it corn dogs?” The next thing you know, I’ll have flat tires on my car.
If you only learn one thing from me today, remember not to tell LSU fans how they smell – you know, like corn dogs.
LSU fans seem, somehow, sensitive to that whole corn dog issue. I think this may be why a lot of fans get beaten up by LSU fans. If you attend a game in Baton Rouge, try to avoid telling them that they smell like corn dogs. Say something else instead. Like, “Wow, LSU sure does have a great team this year. This is going to be a great SEC game.”
It’s hard. I know. It’s like when you’re having sex and you try to think about baseball. That corn dog smell is just so overwhelming. It makes it hard for you to think about football or baseball or whatever else. Your brain wanders into corn dog topics like: “Gee, I wonder if I took a bite of your finger, if you would taste just like a corn dog?”; or “Is this a real person or is it a giant corn dog trying to make me think it is a real person?” or “What did that giant corn dog just say?” or “Excuse me, Mister, why is it that you smell just exactly like corn dogs smell?” or, of course, after a silencer: “Madam, did you just let the corn dogs out?”
Heck, after what I’ve heard about LSU fans, I think it may be better not to smell them at all. Okay, not all of them. Some of them are nice. Sure. Smell the nice ones. That’s okay.
You know what else is a bad thing to do? Holding your nose around them. They are real sensitive to that, too. Try holding your breath. But don’t be obvious about it. Somehow they know you’re trying not to breathe in the corn dog smell. And that offends them. They’ll likely punch you for that if they catch on to what you’re doing.
If you do breathe it in long enough, though, it’ll permeate your whole body, and then you’ll smell like a corn dog just like they do. But don’t say, “Dang, now I smell like a corn dog.” They take offense to that. And they will throw things. But not corn dogs. Hard stuff. Stuff that leaves bruises and makes you bleed. Then you may have to get stitches or something. Just don’t say it. If you do start smelling like a corn dog, just shut up about it. Okay?
I think kids are acutely aware of corn dog smells too. Counsel your kids on how to behave around LSU fans. If LSU fans are driving around town, do not let your kids stick their heads out of your car window and sniff the air. No. Keep your windows rolled up. An odd change in their expression – indicating they smell corn dogs – might get a wrench or pipe or some other object tossed at your windshield. So, that’s dangerous. Let your kids stick their heads out of the car windows as you drive – on some other weekend.
I know you are just as puzzled as I am about some of this corn dog stuff. What puzzles me most is that I’ve never actually seen any of these LSU fans with a corn dog in their hand. Okay, maybe there’s no mystery there – maybe they already ate the corn dogs. Who knows? Maybe there’s a corn dog factory in Baton Rouge and they all work there. Maybe, there’s a corn dog lotion that they wear, or a French perfume. Maybe their city council puts corn dog juice in the water supply – kind of like fluoride. The politics there are probably weird. The big political issue during the city election is whether they should add more ketchup or more mustard to the water. Don’t comment on it though. It’s not politically correct over there. It’s like a malnutrition issue or something. It’s like the corn dogs are probably added to the water to prevent starvation or something.
I know when you go to Baton Rouge, you’re thinking: “Ahhhh. Here I am in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I’ll bet the people here smell just like boiled crawfish or shrimp etoufe’ or some fancy Cajun food.” But just stop thinking that. That’s just a myth. They smell just like corn dogs.
In fact, please listen to my advice. Leave them alone about the corn dog odor. And don’t try masking the odor with something stronger. They’ll curse at you. They’ll say something like: “WTF, how dare you smoke a cigar in my home,” or “WTF!! Are you too good for the smell of corn dogs?” and they’ll cuss out your kids too: “WTF!!! Little Mister fancy pants over here acts like he doesn’t want to smell like corn dogs.”
Cajuns are not like us. Don’t you see that, yet? They are really sensitive about being sniffed and about their corn dog aroma. They know they smell like corn dogs and it is no laughing matter to them at all. I know, I know. We sniff the Bammers and the UGA Dawgs and the Ole messes, and we keep a straight face with each of them, but don’t press your luck with the Cajun tiger fans. Don’t refer to Death Valley as corn dog valley either. I mean that’s just wrong. Even if you’ve been drinking, they’ll beat you up and curse out your kids.
Along these lines, be extra careful when you laugh in their direction – even if you’re laughing about something else. Like baseball or football, or sex or whatever. If you can’t control yourself and you must laugh though, do not snort. The snorting makes them think that you smell their corn dog body odor from a distance or that you’re choking on it or something. They’ll likely burn your van for that. We lost a campus building over just one snort.
So, just remember. You can love one another without sniffing each other. You can enjoy the clash of a couple of good football teams. You can enjoy the thrill of the rivalry. But after the game, please heed my words. Please just move along. No sniffing the opposing fans this Saturday. Okay? Get your corn dog jollies at home.
Enough with this corn dog talk. Let’s play ball…

************************************************

GBO
Click to expand...
Did Chatta tell you that short story?

Pretty funny though 😅
 
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#37,132
#37,132
Pacer92 said:
And I can probably show you more that’s sick of Tom Brady…

Retire….raise your kids in a true family and not a broken home. Get your competitive spirit out in a different way. It’s past time.
Click to expand...
That wasn't the point of my joke. I took it as guy saying he's stupid because his wife is beautiful.
 
#37,135
#37,135
Pacer92 said:
And I can probably show you more that’s sick of Tom Brady…

Retire….raise your kids in a true family and not a broken home. Get your competitive spirit out in a different way. It’s past time.
Click to expand...

Mann I’m not a big Brady guy but who are you to tell him how to live his own life?
 
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#37,140
#37,140
YNWAvols said:
Literally just said the same. Various super bowl rings, more money than you could ever spend, a hot wife who somehow is worth more than you (I believe) and 3 kids and yet you choose a year playing football as an old man, furthering your CTE and losing your family.

Makes sense.
Click to expand...
I believe her worth is like 3 times what Tom’s currently is. Who knew being a supermodel paid so much more than being a multi Super Bowl quarterback!
 
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#37,141
#37,141
Orange_Crush said:
PSA:

Irregardless is not a word, regardless of what you heard at your dinner table growing up. It's "regard" being crushed between a double negative. You're actually saying, "without no regard".

Stop it!
Click to expand...
I called somebody out on this years ago and googled it to prove a point, but come to find out…. It is a word
 
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#37,143
#37,143
ACvol3 said:
I called somebody out on this years ago and googled it to prove a point, but come to find out…. It is a word
Click to expand...
Merriam-Webster defines irregardless as "nonstandard" but meaning the same as "regardless." "Many people find irregardless to be a nonsensical word, as the ir- prefix usually functions to indicates negation; however, in this case it appears to function as an intensifier," the dictionary writes.
Click to expand...

The true beauty of language...it is merely functional.

As long as people understand its conveyance of meaning...the syntax crap is just that. Language shouldn't be a programming language. We aren't robots. Those things wouldn't even know how big of idjit morans they are.
 
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#37,147
#37,147
SyntaxError-a1b7896c16564a27bd463cccdeb87ca0.jpg
 
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#37,149
#37,149
Devo182 said:
The true beauty of language...it is merely functional.

As long as people understand its conveyance of meaning...the syntax crap is just that. Language shouldn't be a programming language. We aren't robots. Those things wouldn't even know how big of idjit morans they are.
Click to expand...
Nice syntax! Just as disordering the numbers in an equation changes meaning, so disordering words and phrases makes the difference between "dog bites man" and "man bites dog." That's syntax. Languages with minimal syntax are difficult to learn because nearly every word has to be encoded with prefixes or endings that convey possible and impossible orders. But they still have their own syntax. But I'm ready for the game thread too!
 
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