How to handle a crazy wife?

#51
#51
Gramps said:
Sounds to me like she feels you are neglecting her. If you love her and want your marrigae to work don't spend as much time on games, help her do the housework, get a sitter a couple of time per month, take her on a date. Make her feel like she is the love of your life, not with words but with actions. Treat her as if she were a queen. Surprise her with a weekend getaway, cook her dinner occasionally. It is the little things that make a marriage work. Make yourself do the little things.

Marriage is not always easy but if you love your wife if is well worth it. Granny gets on my nerves go bad at times that I would like to walk away yet I wouldn't trade her for any woman on earth.

Good luck and may you two have a long happy life.

Now to be serious, get over it, women are nuts, learn to live with it. You can not do any better than you are now, be happy you found a woman to put up with your bs. :crazy:
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Agree with what the old man says. :hi:

Also, you going to need to trade Kelce ASAP.
 
#52
#52
crusse10 said:
Guess I'm not "a super hot woman," cause I don't respond to your bullish tendencies quite as well as you'd prefer. You gave him atrocious advice. Calling your wife psycho and threatening her is basically the exact opposite of good advice.
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Dunno about "not a woman".
 
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#54
#54
Toujours Pret said:
So being married with a kid eliminates the possibility of having a social life eh?
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NO, it actually ESTABLISHES it....His social life and greatest joy on earth is at home with his wife...that's why it takes a man to be a husband--a husband must learn to accept his responsibilities and put away childish preoccupations with other things...because NONE of those other things CAN or WILL ever compare to the intimacy, devotion, and joy of being a faithful husband and father...

I've been married for over 27 years...and I play golf, hunt, fish, etc..etc...etc....BUT my WIFE and MARRIAGE are MY LIFE....and no man will ever have a successful marriage until he realizes that fact. :salute:
 
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#57
#57
utvolpj said:
You should really ignore anything in that post. Threatening your wife does not build a healthy marriage
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I agree with pj 100% and am glad to know we're on the same page. To put it in sports terms, it's kind of like bobby knight, or the Rutgers coach, or a few others I could name who verbally berate or physically threaten or abuse players. Those things are divisive and/or criminal and instead of building up they destroy.
 
#58
#58
My old boss had a crazy wife. He always stayed calm and when he and his wife finally split, the kids wanted nothing to do with her and he got full custody. Keep in mind, this was in Utah...probably the most Mom-friendly state for divorce.

Just be a grown-up
 
#60
#60
wildnkrazykat said:
But honestly, Wally, sounds like she becomes overwhelmed and needs things to be chunked Into smaller tasks.
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I think that's what concerns me. She knows that, realizes that, but won't do anything about it and won't accept help.

She'll break things like the house into a list of things that needs done. 2 Days into it, she'll be like "Oh, well, I decided to go to Target." Then it piles up from there.

For the weight loss thing, the last thing we tried was when she decided she needed small goals/rewards. She set up this whole system, where basically every 5lbs had something like a manicure, new makeup, etc. all the way up to a new car for the main goal and keeping it off for 3 months.

Worked for 10lbs, then when the water weight was gone, she got frustrated and has essentially quit.


Drives me nuts.
 
#62
#62
wildnkrazykat said:
I agree with pj 100% and am glad to know we're on the same page. To put it in sports terms, it's kind of like bobby knight, or the Rutgers coach, or a few others I could name who verbally berate or physically threaten or abuse players. Those things are divisive and/or criminal and instead of building up they destroy.
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Interesting since there are very few similarities in the 2. So how have you chosen to integrate those beliefs into your marriage?
 
#63
#63
utvolpj said:
You should really ignore anything in that post. Threatening your wife does not build a healthy marriage
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wildnkrazykat said:
I agree with pj 100% and am glad to know we're on the same page. To put it in sports terms, it's kind of like bobby knight, or the Rutgers coach, or a few others I could name who verbally berate or physically threaten or abuse players. Those things are divisive and/or criminal and instead of building up they destroy.
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But verbally attacking and screaming at your spouse like a maniac with your child present builds a lasting union, right? Zero was written about threats to her and you know it.

However, my wife on the other hand is insane.
His words, not mine.

Her “regret” can be accomplished by taking his child and leaving the home until she isn’t behaving like a nut or calling the police to report her behavior. Or divorce her, file a restraining order against her, and seek full custody. No spouse should tolerate it because the marriage won’t survive and emotional damage will be done to the kid.
 
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#64
#64
Vegas_Ferguson said:
But verbally attacking and screaming at your spouse like a maniac with your child present builds a lasting union, right? Zero was written about threats to her and you know it.

However, my wife on the other hand is insane.
His words, not mine.

Her “regret” can be accomplished by taking his child and leaving the home until she isn’t behaving like a nut or calling the police to report her behavior. Or divorce her, file a restraining order against her, and seek full custody. No spouse should tolerate it because the marriage won’t survive and emotional damage will be done to the kid.
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"Or you will regret it" is a threat.

Where was there anything about verbal attacks and screaming like a maniac in front of the child? Where was anything said about teaching a level needing police involvement?

The most descriptive thing in this thread was about a fantasy football issue. That says quite a bit
 
#65
#65
utvolpj said:
"Or you will regret it" is a threat.

Where was there anything about verbal attacks and screaming like a maniac in front of the child? Where was anything said about teaching a level needing police involvement?

The most descriptive thing in this thread was about a fantasy football issue. That says quite a bit
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"Flips the **** out" connotes more than "Oh, you big silly". I'd roll the dice she's threatened him on more than one occasion and vowed "regrets" for him. I'm not privy to scene. And neither are you. I'll never meet him or her but he cannot be belittled or emasculated in front of his child by this harridan. The future does not bode well for them. Of course, I have Kelce in a fantasy league and if Maclin emerges like he did last week his numbers might go up.

Oh, you probably won't accept but I honestly apology for calling you an ***hole in one of those threads the other day.
 
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#66
#66
Vegas_Ferguson said:
"Flips the **** out" connotes more than "Oh, you big silly". I'd roll the dice she's threatened him on more than one occasion and vowed "regrets" for him. I'm not privy to scene. And neither are you. I'll never meet him or her but he cannot be belittled or emasculated in front of his child by this harridan. The future does not bode well for them. Of course, I have Kelce in a fantasy league and if Maclin emerges like he did last week his numbers might go up.
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I think the 100% her fault is a bit of a stretch. I'm also guessing a 3mo relationship that tied them together for life is a bit overwhelming to both. The amount of hormones that have gone thru that woman's body in the last couple of years would likely kill a man. It can be surprising even if you know the woman well but I'd say it's extra tough when you didn't really know her in the first place

Vegas_Ferguson said:
Oh, you probably won't accept but I honestly apology for calling you an ***hole in one of those threads the other day.
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I'll always accept it. There's always a slight chance you weren't wrong :)
 
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#68
#68
Volsick said:
I have been married since June, and been with my wife for 2 years. We have a 1 Year old son together, and he is just awesome. My little man is the coolest, most amazing kid in the world. However, my wife on the other hand is insane. I just wanted to get some feedback from the fellow vols on this board. Am I alone and just married a crazy woman, or is this a unanimous thing across the board. She is constantly thinking I'm cheating on her, always nagging about something. For example. Me and my buddy were on the phone yesterday talking about fantasy football. Well my TE for this week was Travis Kelce. Well I have Antonio Gates on the bench and was talking about "Kelce" and debating if I should leave "Kelce" in or take the risk first week with Antonio Gates. Well, I get off of the phone a few minutes later and am just playing with my son in his room. I sit there as he is attempting to build a wall out of his toys, and my wife comes in there and says: "Who's Kelce?" I'm like, "My starting TE for fantasy." She just flips out. I mean flips the f*** out. She says I took him off of speakerphone and was talking about "Kelce". I mean come on! It is really starting to wear on me. I honestly haven't ever cheated on her, and I've been a good husband to the best of my ability, but it's like every day its something new. Kills me. She is crazy for the most part. I would say 85% of the time she is crazy. Need some advice! :loco:
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Maintaining a marriage is a two way street. It's a juggling act that never ends. It's a never ending volley of clichés.

Just using your post as a guide, and a little reading between the lines, and a whole damn bunch of experience and reflection on my own marriage, sounds to me you are not making her the center of your universe.

I agree with the other posters that suggested counseling. But, counseling only works when both agree to it, both are totally honest with the couselor, too each other, and, most importantly, too yourself!

Good luck!
 
#69
#69
WallyBalls said:
I think that's what concerns me. She knows that, realizes that, but won't do anything about it and won't accept help.

She'll break things like the house into a list of things that needs done. 2 Days into it, she'll be like "Oh, well, I decided to go to Target." Then it piles up from there.

For the weight loss thing, the last thing we tried was when she decided she needed small goals/rewards. She set up this whole system, where basically every 5lbs had something like a manicure, new makeup, etc. all the way up to a new car for the main goal and keeping it off for 3 months.

Worked for 10lbs, then when the water weight was gone, she got frustrated and has essentially quit.


Drives me nuts.
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Understandable, and I'm sure there are things that you do that drive her nuts too.
 
#70
#70
utvolpj said:
Interesting since there are very few similarities in the 2. So how have you chosen to integrate those beliefs into your marriage?
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There are plenty of similarities. Relationships are relationships whether In the board room, bedroom, or locker room. I felt like we were on the same side of the issue. I also don't think Vegas was implying that dude beat his wife either.
 
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#71
#71
wildnkrazykat said:
There are plenty of similarities. Relationships are relationships whether In the board room, bedroom, or locker room. I felt like we were on the same side of the issue. I also don't think Vegas was implying that dude beat his wife either.
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but he wasn't not implying it
 
#72
#72
crusse10 said:
but he wasn't not implying it
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Never implied or intended to imply any such thing, Dwight. See above.

He stated he was in his room playing with their child when she flipped. I'm not implying d**k. I'm saying no spouse - man or woman - can allow themselves to be subjected to that especially in front of their child. None of us know the details. All we can do is wish them the best.
 
#73
#73
Vegas_Ferguson said:
Never implied or intended to imply any such thing, Dwight. See above.

He stated he was in his room playing with their child when she flipped. I'm not implying d**k. I'm saying no spouse - man or woman - can allow themselves to be subjected to that especially in front of their child. None of us know the details. All we can do is wish them the best.
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dude it was a joke for the sole purpose of using a double negative
 
#75
#75
Oh boy. I generally don't weigh in on this type of thing because nobody should ever take advice from me, but there's a glaring point I have to mention.

In all of the things you've said about your wife in these posts, there isn't much that reads like you see her as a life-size human being. You've said she's crazy, she's hot, she's suspicious, whatever, but it all seems oddly dismissive of your wife the person, as opposed to your wife the hot crazy thing.

I understand we're only getting a sliver of the whole picture and I really don't mean to throw stones at you at all, but from the few sentences you've offered I can totally get that you love your kid but I don't get that at all about your wife.

It just makes me wonder if she's picked up on the notion that your appreciation of her is somewhat superficial, especially now that she sees you with your kid and sees what it looks like when you truly love somebody. If so, she'd have to think that your commitment to her will only last until her hotness fades and, having had a baby not long ago, she's likely been feeling that it already has to some degree. It's not such a leap to get to her suspicions, unfounded though they may be.

Before you write her off, try getting to know her with your blinders on and ride that out a while. Then she'll know you're with her for who she is and not what she is.

Sorry if all that sounded preachy or insulting. But I wish all three of you good luck and happy times as a family.
 
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