Favorite Sayings...

#51
#51
"You couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat" - batter who was unable to hit well.

"If your brain was put on the edge of a razor blade it would look like a BB rolling down an eight lane highway."- Enough said

"You couldn't catch a cold, naked in a blizzard" - a receiver who didn't make very many catches but had lots of misses

"Stats are like a girl in a bikini- they show a lot but not everything"
 
#52
#52
Chad F said:
Referring to times when the team is playing well and everybody seems to be telling you what a good job you are doing, it is sometimes necessary to bring you back to reality and continue to focus on getting better rather than becoming satisfied. In order to do this when you have started believing your own hype:

"Be careful kissing your own butt, you might break your back."
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I guess my coach at the time was more politically correct (or he hadn't heard your coaches version) cause he used to say watch it patting yourself on the back, you might break your arm.
 
#53
#53
Coach's comment for non athletes - "Oxygen wasters"

Another coach would tell players who continually messed up " (Player's Name) you would mess up a wet dream."
 
#55
#55
There's a couple I like, "You sound like you are trying to put 10 gallons of crap into a 5 gallon bucket", or, this one has nothing to do with sports but I like, "I wouldn't kick her out of bed unless she wanted to do it on the floor"
 
#56
#56
jvance4050 said:
There's a couple I like, "You sound like you are trying to put 10 gallons of crap into a 5 gallon bucket", or, this one has nothing to do with sports but I like, "I wouldn't kick her out of bed unless she wanted to do it on the floor"
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Or I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers in it.
 
#58
#58
Little league coach to our team:

"You guys play ball like a bunch of seven year olds !"

Of course they were seven years old at the time. I liked that guy
 
#59
#59
I don't remember much from my HS coaches because they were too cliche, but when I was a boot in the Marine Corp, we had about a year of going to the field when everything would mess up. Ice storms, thunderstorms, people would get hurt, ammo wouldn't show up, etc. Finally when motivation was at an all time low our 1st Sgt addressed the company by saying; "What luck we have gentleman. It could be raining whores and we'd be hit by queers." God Bless that man.
 
#60
#60
"Quit lollygagging and get up the galldam field! I want you boys to run like your heads was on fire and your asses were catching!"

Coach Jackie Smith, football coach, who didn't think we were running hard enough on kick coverage. :)
 
#61
#61
Not a coach, but a guy told me one time (of course he was mad at me at the time) "you couldn't sell pu**y to a troop train"..
 
#62
#62
You move like my papaw

Who are we gonna beat this year....I hope we play Turtle Town

If I can win a game with you on my team there gonna put me in jail for cheating
 
#63
#63
Smokeyman said:
"Quit lollygagging and get up the galldam field! I want you boys to run like your heads was on fire and your asses were catching!"

Coach Jackie Smith, football coach, who didn't think we were running hard enough on kick coverage. :)
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The word 'lollygag' makes me laugh by itself. I bet you were sprinting down the field cracking up! :lolabove::lolabove::lolabove:
 
#64
#64
beavbullvol said:
The word 'lollygag' makes me laugh by itself. I bet you were sprinting down the field cracking up! :lolabove::lolabove::lolabove:
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I almost put that in my post! That word has always got me. Well, you know what they say: U can't spell LOL without LOLLYGAG! :p
 
#65
#65
"Boyz what'n the cat hair's goin on out there?

And my favorite, "I dont care if it is hotter'n three legged billy goat out here move ur a$$ up them steps!!!
 
#66
#66
NVolsITrust said:
I don't remember much from my HS coaches because they were too cliche, but when I was a boot in the Marine Corp, we had about a year of going to the field when everything would mess up. Ice storms, thunderstorms, people would get hurt, ammo wouldn't show up, etc. Finally when motivation was at an all time low our 1st Sgt addressed the company by saying; "What luck we have gentleman. It could be raining whores and we'd be hit by queers." God Bless that man.
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That's so touching. :cray:
 
#67
#67
I played middle school football for a 70 year old man. He was a devil dog during world war 2. To say he was a tough a** would not do it justice. We normally had 60 guys come out a year and 17 or so would be left by the time the season started.

Sh** get up your killing my grass.
Stop taking pictures of the moon with your a**.
Sh** that looked like a chinese fire drill.
Can't make chicken salad out of chicken Sh**.
I wouldn't go watch the Green Bay Packers if they were wearing shorts.
We only compete against ourselves.
Looks like piss burnt brown to me.
 
#71
#71
"There's two ways we can do this: short and sweet, or long and hard." A football coach of mine would say this before we did certain drills.
 
#72
#72
Can't shine a turd

Don't tell me about the birthin pains, show me the baby

Don't worry about the mules, load the wagon

You make me sick, get outta my office your worthless piece of *#$(#)
 
#73
#73
"You guys have a Rectal-Cranial inversion"

a.k.a. You guys have your head up your azz!
 
#74
#74
Probably one of my all time favorites: One of my players said one day as we were going to the field during the first of August - " Who set the thermostat on HELL".
 
#75
#75
Let me set the stage for you: We were practicing for our fall jamboree. During practice everybody was tired we had been practicing for about 2 1/2(we went 4 hours + everyday) hours during August in about 95 degree heat. During this portion of practice we were 1st team defense vs. Scout Team Offense. Well, our defense was being lazy. All 11 not getting to the football, messing up schemes, and just flat out dogging it. This lasts all of one play and our defensive coordinator tells us "Get off my dadgum field!! You bunch of candy cane legged girls!!!!"He also liked this one for Pass Protection: "Fellas, you know what type of block this is? It is a Virgin Block, No penetration."
 
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