Do you think Gaston Moore can do anything here?
Sorry, couldn't resist.
Everybody sing........
No one's slick as Gaston
No one's quick as Gaston
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's
For there's no man in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on
Who plays darts like Gaston
Who breaks hearts like Gaston
Who's much more than the sum of his parts like Gaston
As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating
My what a guy, that Gaston
No one hits like Gaston
Matches wits like Gaston
In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston
I'm especially good at expectorating
Ptoooie
Ten points for Gaston
When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Every morning to help me get large
And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs
So I'm roughly the size of a barge!
Ooh
Who has brains like Gaston
Entertains like Gaston
Who can make up these endless refrains like Gaston
I use antlers in all of my decorating
Say it again
Who's a man among men
Who's the super success
Don't you know, can't you guess?
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on
There's must one guy in town who's got all of it down
And his name's G A S T...
I believe there's another T
It just occurred to me that I'm illiterate
And I've never actually had to spell it out loud before
Gaston