The Paul Bain Thread (merged)

#277
#277
I fought the law, and the law won.
Paul Bain fought the law, and now there's cops left.
 
#279
#279
Some say......that after making love, he bites the head off his partner, and that he once punched a horse to the ground... all we know is, he's called Paul Bain.
 
#281
#281
Paul Bain can make lemonade from apples.

Paul Bain can dig a hole in water.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... and Paul Bain.

Paul Bain once failed a chemistry class, because the only element he knows is the element of surprise.

The last person to make eye contact with Paul Bain was Stevie Wonder.

When Paul Bain gives you the middle finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have to live.

Paul Bain can button a zipper.

The chicken crossed the road to get away from Paul Bain.

We are bound by the laws of gravity. To Paul Bain, they are merely suggestions.

When you Google Paul Bain, no results are found. You don't find Paul Bain, Paul Bain finds you.
 
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#285
#285
OP made a mistake in starting this thread. Has he posted recently? I'm afraid The Great One Paul Bain may have gotten to him.
 
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#286
#286
Paul Bain was sent out looking for the keys to the drop zone. He found them. Then put the corporal who sent him looking for them in traction.

Paul Bain was sent out looking for 'flight line'. He found some, then used it to tie the sergeant who asked for it to the back of a C-17.

Paul Bain was told to keep an eye out for red cockaded woodpeckers and loggerhead shrikes, as they are endangered. They are endangered no more. Paul Bain says they were delicious.

When jumping into combat, Paul Bain does not need a parachute. He just tells the ground to step back when it's getting too close.
 
#288
#288
Its a little know fact that the Mississippi did in fact run backwards in both 1811 and 1812. Both instances were because of Paul Bain. The first time because he walked up the Mississippi from the delta; the second time because he thought about doing it again.
 
#289
#289
Paul Bain once entered in an arm wrestling competition, in the 5th grade. No one would dare challenge him, so he had to go against himself. The place was packed to see the epic show down, because no one could fathom Paul Bain losing, even to himself. Still to this day we don't know what happened, every fan in attendance died from the experience.
 
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#295
#295
Have you ever heard the expression 'It's best to rip a bandaid off fast'?

Paul Bain hasn't. He's never needed a bandaid.
 
#296
#296
If you go into a dark bathroom and say his name 3 times, he appears and punches your face through the back of your skull.
 
#299
#299
This thread has been epic!

The only thing that can make it better (besides more Paul Bain jokes ... er, uh, facts) is if he dominates the line of scrimmage when he gets to play!

Long Live Paul Bain!!!!!
 
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