Tell Me Your Worst Dating Story?

[MAD]

Went on a date right after HS with this girl. I had grown up around her family but we hung out on different circles. Anyway so I pick her up and we’re heading down I40 towards the Old City, next thing I know this truck is riding my bumper. She just looks at me and says “Oh that’s my ex and his friend.” Apparently he had told her he was going to make her night miserable etc etc. I had no idea what to do, Beavis and Butthead were definitely on a mission. She just kept saying not to worry about it that if something happens we’d get the cops involved. So I took the next exit, got back on the interstate and took her home. She couldn’t believe I wouldn’t fight these 2 guys for her, I laughed and said on date #1 this is way to much BS and drama.

That was very smart on your part.

 

[GVF]

I had one come back to me. OK. I'll do two. I wan't a dating machine, so my opportunities for fitting stories are limited. And I'm in the secod half of my 50's now so one coming to mind takes time.

1. I attended FHU when I first went to college. Transferred to ACU after 3 semesters for 2 years. Came back to FHU for a weekend visit with a close buddy I grew up in church with that was now attending there. Met several of his friends that started attending after I trasnferred and naturally we all hit it off. One was dating a girl and said another girl saw me and wanted to go out. So, we doubled. Chuck thought he was Steve Perry, so he belted out Journey songs to the cassette as we headed up to Jackson. Steve Perry he was not, neither were his high notes. WEl, it was a date not to brag about so much. The girl was sharp and well built. But, the conversation was difficult at best. We get back and i walk her to hte dorm while they wait in the car for me. Said our goodbyes, didn't even kiss. Found out later after I left that she had been telling people I tried to take advantage of her. Which was alarming cause I still knew alot of people there. Fast forward. I transferred back to FHU for my senior year. She was no longer in school there, but I ended up in the same club as her brother. Come to find out she was now a stripper.

2. Not a bad date, but the beginning of a bad marriage. First wife and I met. I didn't really notice her at first. But, my roomie said man that girl sitting over there is burning a hole through you. After some coaxing I went and broke the ice. And we ended up dating, and eventually marrying. But, as young love goes, sometimes red flags go unattended. she seemed to have another personality that had a name. And they had regular conversations. But that's a whole different episode of stories. Fast forward to wedding night, she does the long bath and getting dressed up stuff. Bout the time we make it to the bed for the rituals, she breaks down crying for hours. No explanation. Eventually, we have a less than stellar and brief "wedding night." Lot's of stuff happened over the following 3.5 years, including her running around and we eventually divorced. One of her parting shots was she probably never really loved me, and the reason she cried on our wedding night is that's when she realized what she had done. No kids wth her though. Thank God. She wouldn't have been capable. One of her jobs was bay sitting an infant. I did all the baby sitting. After about a month, I took the the mother off to the side and recommended she not use my wife anymore, that i wasn't comfortable having their baby in our house if I happened to not be there. So, it was a qucik and clean parting. She was the OG cray cray in the head. Haven't heard of her in many, many years. But, I do have a host of stories about her though. So, I did have that going for me.

 

[feathersax]

Grew up with a sweet gal whose parents loved us both. Only one date: drove her to a Chicago concert in Nashville on a snowy night. On the way hit ice & slid off I-40, scaring us badly. No injuries & we got to the concert okay & on time. We never went out again but remain friends today.

 

[OldVolMan]

Was a junior in high school, for our second or third date can’t remember she wanted me to meet her parents and have dinner before we went to the movies. Naturally wanted to dress nice and impress her parents. Get there and she has another family there having dinner also. Only pair of nice dress pants I owned were really too tight for me so to fit better I did not wear underwear.

Her mother drops her fork and of course I have to be the nice guy and show how much of a gentleman I am, you guessed it…….entire bottom of pants split and I mooned the entire family and their guests. For couple seconds it was deafening quiet, then everybody could not hold it back any longer and erupted in laughter. You can’t imagine the embarrassment and humiliation.

 

[BigOrangeMojo]

I'm not the only one in here who has no game....

 

[MAD]

I had one come back to me. OK. I'll do two. I wan't a dating machine, so my opportunities for fitting stories are limited. And I'm in the secod half of my 50's now so one coming to mind takes time.

1. I attended FHU when I first went to college. Transferred to ACU after 3 semesters for 2 years. Came back to FHU for a weekend visit with a close buddy I grew up in church with that was now attending there. Met several of his friends that started attending after I trasnferred and naturally we all hit it off. One was dating a girl and said another girl saw me and wanted to go out. So, we doubled. Chuck thought he was Steve Perry, so he belted out Journey songs to the cassette as we headed up to Jackson. Steve Perry he was not, neither were his high notes. WEl, it was a date not to brag about so much. The girl was sharp and well built. But, the conversation was difficult at best. We get back and i walk her to hte dorm while they wait in the car for me. Said our goodbyes, didn't even kiss. Found out later after I left that she had been telling people I tried to take advantage of her. Which was alarming cause I still knew alot of people there. Fast forward. I transferred back to FHU for my senior year. She was no longer in school there, but I ended up in the same club as her brother. Come to find out she was now a stripper.

2. Not a bad date, but the beginning of a bad marriage. First wife and I met. I didn't really notice her at first. But, my roomie said man that girl sitting over there is burning a hole through you. After some coaxing I went and broke the ice. And we ended up dating, and eventually marrying. But, as young love goes, sometimes red flags go unattended. she seemed to have another personality that had a name. And they had regular conversations. But that's a whole different episode of stories. Fast forward to wedding night, she does the long bath and getting dressed up stuff. Bout the time we make it to the bed for the rituals, she breaks down crying for hours. No explanation. Eventually, we have a less than stellar and brief "wedding night." Lot's of stuff happened over the following 3.5 years, including her running around and we eventually divorced. One of her parting shots was she probably never really loved me, and the reason she cried on our wedding night is that's when she realized what she had done. No kids wth her though. Thank God. She wouldn't have been capable. One of her jobs was bay sitting an infant. I did all the baby sitting. After about a month, I took the the mother off to the side and recommended she not use my wife anymore, that i wasn't comfortable having their baby in our house if I happened to not be there. So, it was a qucik and clean parting. She was the OG cray cray in the head. Haven't heard of her in many, many years. But, I do have a host of stories about her though. So, I did have that going for me.

Yikes, to both stories. First one I thought you were gonna say when you ran into her brother that he beat you up for the lies she was spreading. That second one, heartbreaking for you.

 

[MAD]

Was a junior in high school, for our second or third date can’t remember she wanted me to meet her parents and have dinner before we went to the movies. Naturally wanted to dress nice and impress her parents. Get there and she has another family there having dinner also. Only pair of nice dress pants I owned were really too tight for me so to fit better I did not wear underwear.

Her mother drops her fork and of course I have to be the nice guy and show how much of a gentleman I am, you guessed it…….entire bottom of pants split and I mooned the entire family and their guests. For couple seconds it was deafening quiet, then everybody could not hold it back any longer and erupted in laughter. You can’t imagine the embarrassment and humiliation.

Oh my goodness, that was hilarious.

 

[ReadCT]

I realize bumping an old thread, but it is not like the topic is timely and there is some funny stuff in here...

My crash-and-burn dating story:

Was sort of seeing a gal, maybe second month in. New enough that we had not yet had "the commitment talk" but in deep enough that we had expectations of New Year's Eve plans together

I still had a friends with benefits thing going on with my last girlfriend who was cool with that dynamic. So I texted, "Have time to get together and fool around before I meet my NYE date."

But I accidentally sent it to my NYE date. OOPS

 

[MAD]

I realize bumping an old thread, but it is not like the topic is timely and there is some funny stuff in here...

My crash-and-burn dating story:

Was sort of seeing a gal, maybe second month in. New enough that we had not yet had "the commitment talk" but in deep enough that we had expectations of New Year's Eve plans together

I still had a friends with benefits thing going on with my last girlfriend who was cool with that dynamic. So I texted, "Have time to get together and fool around before I meet my NYE date."

But I accidentally sent it to my NYE date. OOPS

 

[DeusExMachina]

1: Met this Dominican girl while stationed at Camp LeJeune. 5'10, dark curly hair, dark eyes, looked AMAZING in a pair of tight Wrangler jeans and a tied-up western shirt. Found out she had a kid, not a big deal for me, I'm great with kids. Six months later, I've decided that this is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Drop two paychecks at Zales on a diamond, take her to Wilmington to the fanciest restaurant I can find, and hit the knee. I hear this: "I love you too, but I can't marry you." Bewildered me asks why. She responds "because I'm already married".

I was enough of a gentleman to drive her back to Jacksonville, got my stuff from her place that night after she crashed and never went back. Found out that not only was she cheating on her deployed husband with a dude named Kevin, she was cheating on both of them with me.


2: I can still make my buddy Adam cry laughing with four words: "Fayetteville Bump and Run". This is that story.

This happened back in the days of Yahoo Messenger (dating myself, I know). I was going through a massive dry spell, it had been two weeks or so since I had experienced any nocturnal physical training, and I was bored AF being stuck on base. So.....I start rolling through chat rooms. End up talking to this girl from Fayetteville (NC, not TN, but I did live in the TN version when I was a kid), she doesn't have a webcam so I can't see her live. Okay, cool, let's find out a little about her.

-She tells me she's 5'9", 115 pounds, dark hair, blue eyes, and she has big "girls" (note, clue #1 that I missed completely. Rest assured, dear reader, there will be more of these).
-She tells me that she lives alone in a trailer (clue #2)
-She tells me that she's going to be driving a red Ford Fiesta when we meet up (should have set off alarm bells, tornado sirens, and ship horns........but it didn't

Sounds good to me, let's DO THIS (she had also mentioned that she had a handle of Jack Daniels, and I had a bit of a drinking problem at the time). I asked her if she had a friend that my buddy Adam (he was as bored as I was, and was willing to be my DD) could hang out with. She's like "yep", so me and Adam roll out from the barracks about 2330 on our way to Fayetteville.

We agreed to meet up at this pizza place that she knew would be right on highway 24 as we got into Fayetteville (I had been there once before, that's another story for another thread; Adam had never been there). We get there in record time, and don't see a Ford Fiesta. Give it five minutes, and here comes this red car.

Y'ALL. THE DRIVERS SIDE OF THE CAR WAS DRAGGING. This woman gets out, and she had never SEEN 115 pounds, she had skipped plum over it on her way directly to HFS. We make our introductions, and yeah, it's the one I've been talking to. Her friend that was supposed to hang out with Adam?? About 55 years old, and had exactly seven non-sequential teeth in her head. So, we get back in our respective vehicles so that me and Adam could follow them to her place. Adam looks at me and says "dude, I can't let you go through with this. Let's just tell them we got caught in traffic, and we'll haul *** back to the barracks." I tell him that we're not going to be rude, that she has alcohol, and we'd give it an hour and then bounce.

We get to her place, and I start pounding Jack Daniels like they ain't never gonna make no more. Adam's in the living room trying to fend off her friend, me and ol' girl are in the kitchen. Of course, my drunk self completely loses track of time and also loses the ability to stop the evening's festivities from proceeding as she had planned. The festivities end, and I start throwing my jeans back on, she asks where I'm going. I tell her "out to smoke", she wants me to hurry back so we can cuddle and discuss our potential relationship.

I sneak out into the front room, Adam's fully dressed on one couch asleep, her friend's on another asleep. I wake Adam up by putting my hand over his mouth and whisper "we're TF out of here, dude". He and I head out the front door, wind up pushing his car backwards out of the driveway (didn't want to turn it on because the headlights would have come on), and getting directions back to Jacksonville from a NC State Trooper.

Needless to say, I had roughly 350 messages the next day telling me what a bad person I was, and how we could have had a wonderful and fulfilling relationship.

 

[tntar heel]

1: Met this Dominican girl while stationed at Camp LeJeune. 5'10, dark curly hair, dark eyes, looked AMAZING in a pair of tight Wrangler jeans and a tied-up western shirt. Found out she had a kid, not a big deal for me, I'm great with kids. Six months later, I've decided that this is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Drop two paychecks at Zales on a diamond, take her to Wilmington to the fanciest restaurant I can find, and hit the knee. I hear this: "I love you too, but I can't marry you." Bewildered me asks why. She responds "because I'm already married".

I was enough of a gentleman to drive her back to Jacksonville, got my stuff from her place that night after she crashed and never went back. Found out that not only was she cheating on her deployed husband with a dude named Kevin, she was cheating on both of them with me.


2: I can still make my buddy Adam cry laughing with four words: "Fayetteville Bump and Run". This is that story.

This happened back in the days of Yahoo Messenger (dating myself, I know). I was going through a massive dry spell, it had been two weeks or so since I had experienced any nocturnal physical training, and I was bored AF being stuck on base. So.....I start rolling through chat rooms. End up talking to this girl from Fayetteville (NC, not TN, but I did live in the TN version when I was a kid), she doesn't have a webcam so I can't see her live. Okay, cool, let's find out a little about her.

-She tells me she's 5'9", 115 pounds, dark hair, blue eyes, and she has big "girls" (note, clue #1 that I missed completely. Rest assured, dear reader, there will be more of these).
-She tells me that she lives alone in a trailer (clue #2)
-She tells me that she's going to be driving a red Ford Fiesta when we meet up (should have set off alarm bells, tornado sirens, and ship horns........but it didn't

Sounds good to me, let's DO THIS (she had also mentioned that she had a handle of Jack Daniels, and I had a bit of a drinking problem at the time). I asked her if she had a friend that my buddy Adam (he was as bored as I was, and was willing to be my DD) could hang out with. She's like "yep", so me and Adam roll out from the barracks about 2330 on our way to Fayetteville.

We agreed to meet up at this pizza place that she knew would be right on highway 24 as we got into Fayetteville (I had been there once before, that's another story for another thread; Adam had never been there). We get there in record time, and don't see a Ford Fiesta. Give it five minutes, and here comes this red car.

Y'ALL. THE DRIVERS SIDE OF THE CAR WAS DRAGGING. This woman gets out, and she had never SEEN 115 pounds, she had skipped plum over it on her way directly to HFS. We make our introductions, and yeah, it's the one I've been talking to. Her friend that was supposed to hang out with Adam?? About 55 years old, and had exactly seven non-sequential teeth in her head. So, we get back in our respective vehicles so that me and Adam could follow them to her place. Adam looks at me and says "dude, I can't let you go through with this. Let's just tell them we got caught in traffic, and we'll haul *** back to the barracks." I tell him that we're not going to be rude, that she has alcohol, and we'd give it an hour and then bounce.

We get to her place, and I start pounding Jack Daniels like they ain't never gonna make no more. Adam's in the living room trying to fend off her friend, me and ol' girl are in the kitchen. Of course, my drunk self completely loses track of time and also loses the ability to stop the evening's festivities from proceeding as she had planned. The festivities end, and I start throwing my jeans back on, she asks where I'm going. I tell her "out to smoke", she wants me to hurry back so we can cuddle and discuss our potential relationship.

I sneak out into the front room, Adam's fully dressed on one couch asleep, her friend's on another asleep. I wake Adam up by putting my hand over his mouth and whisper "we're TF out of here, dude". He and I head out the front door, wind up pushing his car backwards out of the driveway (didn't want to turn it on because the headlights would have come on), and getting directions back to Jacksonville from a NC State Trooper.

Needless to say, I had roughly 350 messages the next day telling me what a bad person I was, and how we could have had a wonderful and fulfilling relationship.

Clue 1 should have been she's online from Fayette Nam meaning no one from Bragg or Pope would touch that.

 

[MAD]

1: Met this Dominican girl while stationed at Camp LeJeune. 5'10, dark curly hair, dark eyes, looked AMAZING in a pair of tight Wrangler jeans and a tied-up western shirt. Found out she had a kid, not a big deal for me, I'm great with kids. Six months later, I've decided that this is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Drop two paychecks at Zales on a diamond, take her to Wilmington to the fanciest restaurant I can find, and hit the knee. I hear this: "I love you too, but I can't marry you." Bewildered me asks why. She responds "because I'm already married".

I was enough of a gentleman to drive her back to Jacksonville, got my stuff from her place that night after she crashed and never went back. Found out that not only was she cheating on her deployed husband with a dude named Kevin, she was cheating on both of them with me.


2: I can still make my buddy Adam cry laughing with four words: "Fayetteville Bump and Run". This is that story.

This happened back in the days of Yahoo Messenger (dating myself, I know). I was going through a massive dry spell, it had been two weeks or so since I had experienced any nocturnal physical training, and I was bored AF being stuck on base. So.....I start rolling through chat rooms. End up talking to this girl from Fayetteville (NC, not TN, but I did live in the TN version when I was a kid), she doesn't have a webcam so I can't see her live. Okay, cool, let's find out a little about her.

-She tells me she's 5'9", 115 pounds, dark hair, blue eyes, and she has big "girls" (note, clue #1 that I missed completely. Rest assured, dear reader, there will be more of these).
-She tells me that she lives alone in a trailer (clue #2)
-She tells me that she's going to be driving a red Ford Fiesta when we meet up (should have set off alarm bells, tornado sirens, and ship horns........but it didn't

Sounds good to me, let's DO THIS (she had also mentioned that she had a handle of Jack Daniels, and I had a bit of a drinking problem at the time). I asked her if she had a friend that my buddy Adam (he was as bored as I was, and was willing to be my DD) could hang out with. She's like "yep", so me and Adam roll out from the barracks about 2330 on our way to Fayetteville.

We agreed to meet up at this pizza place that she knew would be right on highway 24 as we got into Fayetteville (I had been there once before, that's another story for another thread; Adam had never been there). We get there in record time, and don't see a Ford Fiesta. Give it five minutes, and here comes this red car.

Y'ALL. THE DRIVERS SIDE OF THE CAR WAS DRAGGING. This woman gets out, and she had never SEEN 115 pounds, she had skipped plum over it on her way directly to HFS. We make our introductions, and yeah, it's the one I've been talking to. Her friend that was supposed to hang out with Adam?? About 55 years old, and had exactly seven non-sequential teeth in her head. So, we get back in our respective vehicles so that me and Adam could follow them to her place. Adam looks at me and says "dude, I can't let you go through with this. Let's just tell them we got caught in traffic, and we'll haul *** back to the barracks." I tell him that we're not going to be rude, that she has alcohol, and we'd give it an hour and then bounce.

We get to her place, and I start pounding Jack Daniels like they ain't never gonna make no more. Adam's in the living room trying to fend off her friend, me and ol' girl are in the kitchen. Of course, my drunk self completely loses track of time and also loses the ability to stop the evening's festivities from proceeding as she had planned. The festivities end, and I start throwing my jeans back on, she asks where I'm going. I tell her "out to smoke", she wants me to hurry back so we can cuddle and discuss our potential relationship.

I sneak out into the front room, Adam's fully dressed on one couch asleep, her friend's on another asleep. I wake Adam up by putting my hand over his mouth and whisper "we're TF out of here, dude". He and I head out the front door, wind up pushing his car backwards out of the driveway (didn't want to turn it on because the headlights would have come on), and getting directions back to Jacksonville from a NC State Trooper.

Needless to say, I had roughly 350 messages the next day telling me what a bad person I was, and how we could have had a wonderful and fulfilling relationship.

You are a great storyteller.
Both were so interesting to read.

 

[Ernest T. Vol]

Went to Michael's one night in 1983 and....well..., I guess that's not really a "dating" story. HA!

 

[YankeeVol]

1: Met this Dominican girl while stationed at Camp LeJeune. 5'10, dark curly hair, dark eyes, looked AMAZING in a pair of tight Wrangler jeans and a tied-up western shirt. Found out she had a kid, not a big deal for me, I'm great with kids. Six months later, I've decided that this is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Drop two paychecks at Zales on a diamond, take her to Wilmington to the fanciest restaurant I can find, and hit the knee. I hear this: "I love you too, but I can't marry you." Bewildered me asks why. She responds "because I'm already married".

I was enough of a gentleman to drive her back to Jacksonville, got my stuff from her place that night after she crashed and never went back. Found out that not only was she cheating on her deployed husband with a dude named Kevin, she was cheating on both of them with me.


2: I can still make my buddy Adam cry laughing with four words: "Fayetteville Bump and Run". This is that story.

This happened back in the days of Yahoo Messenger (dating myself, I know). I was going through a massive dry spell, it had been two weeks or so since I had experienced any nocturnal physical training, and I was bored AF being stuck on base. So.....I start rolling through chat rooms. End up talking to this girl from Fayetteville (NC, not TN, but I did live in the TN version when I was a kid), she doesn't have a webcam so I can't see her live. Okay, cool, let's find out a little about her.

-She tells me she's 5'9", 115 pounds, dark hair, blue eyes, and she has big "girls" (note, clue #1 that I missed completely. Rest assured, dear reader, there will be more of these).
-She tells me that she lives alone in a trailer (clue #2)
-She tells me that she's going to be driving a red Ford Fiesta when we meet up (should have set off alarm bells, tornado sirens, and ship horns........but it didn't

Sounds good to me, let's DO THIS (she had also mentioned that she had a handle of Jack Daniels, and I had a bit of a drinking problem at the time). I asked her if she had a friend that my buddy Adam (he was as bored as I was, and was willing to be my DD) could hang out with. She's like "yep", so me and Adam roll out from the barracks about 2330 on our way to Fayetteville.

We agreed to meet up at this pizza place that she knew would be right on highway 24 as we got into Fayetteville (I had been there once before, that's another story for another thread; Adam had never been there). We get there in record time, and don't see a Ford Fiesta. Give it five minutes, and here comes this red car.

Y'ALL. THE DRIVERS SIDE OF THE CAR WAS DRAGGING. This woman gets out, and she had never SEEN 115 pounds, she had skipped plum over it on her way directly to HFS. We make our introductions, and yeah, it's the one I've been talking to. Her friend that was supposed to hang out with Adam?? About 55 years old, and had exactly seven non-sequential teeth in her head. So, we get back in our respective vehicles so that me and Adam could follow them to her place. Adam looks at me and says "dude, I can't let you go through with this. Let's just tell them we got caught in traffic, and we'll haul *** back to the barracks." I tell him that we're not going to be rude, that she has alcohol, and we'd give it an hour and then bounce.

We get to her place, and I start pounding Jack Daniels like they ain't never gonna make no more. Adam's in the living room trying to fend off her friend, me and ol' girl are in the kitchen. Of course, my drunk self completely loses track of time and also loses the ability to stop the evening's festivities from proceeding as she had planned. The festivities end, and I start throwing my jeans back on, she asks where I'm going. I tell her "out to smoke", she wants me to hurry back so we can cuddle and discuss our potential relationship.

I sneak out into the front room, Adam's fully dressed on one couch asleep, her friend's on another asleep. I wake Adam up by putting my hand over his mouth and whisper "we're TF out of here, dude". He and I head out the front door, wind up pushing his car backwards out of the driveway (didn't want to turn it on because the headlights would have come on), and getting directions back to Jacksonville from a NC State Trooper.

Needless to say, I had roughly 350 messages the next day telling me what a bad person I was, and how we could have had a wonderful and fulfilling relationship.

The 'ole Yahoo chat room days lol. Good times

 

[Go aeiou]

1: Met this Dominican girl while stationed at Camp LeJeune. 5'10, dark curly hair, dark eyes, looked AMAZING in a pair of tight Wrangler jeans and a tied-up western shirt. Found out she had a kid, not a big deal for me, I'm great with kids. Six months later, I've decided that this is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Drop two paychecks at Zales on a diamond, take her to Wilmington to the fanciest restaurant I can find, and hit the knee. I hear this: "I love you too, but I can't marry you." Bewildered me asks why. She responds "because I'm already married".

I was enough of a gentleman to drive her back to Jacksonville, got my stuff from her place that night after she crashed and never went back. Found out that not only was she cheating on her deployed husband with a dude named Kevin, she was cheating on both of them with me.


2: I can still make my buddy Adam cry laughing with four words: "Fayetteville Bump and Run". This is that story.

This happened back in the days of Yahoo Messenger (dating myself, I know). I was going through a massive dry spell, it had been two weeks or so since I had experienced any nocturnal physical training, and I was bored AF being stuck on base. So.....I start rolling through chat rooms. End up talking to this girl from Fayetteville (NC, not TN, but I did live in the TN version when I was a kid), she doesn't have a webcam so I can't see her live. Okay, cool, let's find out a little about her.

-She tells me she's 5'9", 115 pounds, dark hair, blue eyes, and she has big "girls" (note, clue #1 that I missed completely. Rest assured, dear reader, there will be more of these).
-She tells me that she lives alone in a trailer (clue #2)
-She tells me that she's going to be driving a red Ford Fiesta when we meet up (should have set off alarm bells, tornado sirens, and ship horns........but it didn't

Sounds good to me, let's DO THIS (she had also mentioned that she had a handle of Jack Daniels, and I had a bit of a drinking problem at the time). I asked her if she had a friend that my buddy Adam (he was as bored as I was, and was willing to be my DD) could hang out with. She's like "yep", so me and Adam roll out from the barracks about 2330 on our way to Fayetteville.

We agreed to meet up at this pizza place that she knew would be right on highway 24 as we got into Fayetteville (I had been there once before, that's another story for another thread; Adam had never been there). We get there in record time, and don't see a Ford Fiesta. Give it five minutes, and here comes this red car.

Y'ALL. THE DRIVERS SIDE OF THE CAR WAS DRAGGING. This woman gets out, and she had never SEEN 115 pounds, she had skipped plum over it on her way directly to HFS. We make our introductions, and yeah, it's the one I've been talking to. Her friend that was supposed to hang out with Adam?? About 55 years old, and had exactly seven non-sequential teeth in her head. So, we get back in our respective vehicles so that me and Adam could follow them to her place. Adam looks at me and says "dude, I can't let you go through with this. Let's just tell them we got caught in traffic, and we'll haul *** back to the barracks." I tell him that we're not going to be rude, that she has alcohol, and we'd give it an hour and then bounce.

We get to her place, and I start pounding Jack Daniels like they ain't never gonna make no more. Adam's in the living room trying to fend off her friend, me and ol' girl are in the kitchen. Of course, my drunk self completely loses track of time and also loses the ability to stop the evening's festivities from proceeding as she had planned. The festivities end, and I start throwing my jeans back on, she asks where I'm going. I tell her "out to smoke", she wants me to hurry back so we can cuddle and discuss our potential relationship.

I sneak out into the front room, Adam's fully dressed on one couch asleep, her friend's on another asleep. I wake Adam up by putting my hand over his mouth and whisper "we're TF out of here, dude". He and I head out the front door, wind up pushing his car backwards out of the driveway (didn't want to turn it on because the headlights would have come on), and getting directions back to Jacksonville from a NC State Trooper.

Needless to say, I had roughly 350 messages the next day telling me what a bad person I was, and how we could have had a wonderful and fulfilling relationship.

Dam, what a wonderful boring life I have had!!!! Great reading though.

 

[Gladiator1]

1: Met this Dominican girl while stationed at Camp LeJeune. 5'10, dark curly hair, dark eyes, looked AMAZING in a pair of tight Wrangler jeans and a tied-up western shirt. Found out she had a kid, not a big deal for me, I'm great with kids. Six months later, I've decided that this is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Drop two paychecks at Zales on a diamond, take her to Wilmington to the fanciest restaurant I can find, and hit the knee. I hear this: "I love you too, but I can't marry you." Bewildered me asks why. She responds "because I'm already married".

I was enough of a gentleman to drive her back to Jacksonville, got my stuff from her place that night after she crashed and never went back. Found out that not only was she cheating on her deployed husband with a dude named Kevin, she was cheating on both of them with me.


2: I can still make my buddy Adam cry laughing with four words: "Fayetteville Bump and Run". This is that story.

This happened back in the days of Yahoo Messenger (dating myself, I know). I was going through a massive dry spell, it had been two weeks or so since I had experienced any nocturnal physical training, and I was bored AF being stuck on base. So.....I start rolling through chat rooms. End up talking to this girl from Fayetteville (NC, not TN, but I did live in the TN version when I was a kid), she doesn't have a webcam so I can't see her live. Okay, cool, let's find out a little about her.

-She tells me she's 5'9", 115 pounds, dark hair, blue eyes, and she has big "girls" (note, clue #1 that I missed completely. Rest assured, dear reader, there will be more of these).
-She tells me that she lives alone in a trailer (clue #2)
-She tells me that she's going to be driving a red Ford Fiesta when we meet up (should have set off alarm bells, tornado sirens, and ship horns........but it didn't

Sounds good to me, let's DO THIS (she had also mentioned that she had a handle of Jack Daniels, and I had a bit of a drinking problem at the time). I asked her if she had a friend that my buddy Adam (he was as bored as I was, and was willing to be my DD) could hang out with. She's like "yep", so me and Adam roll out from the barracks about 2330 on our way to Fayetteville.

We agreed to meet up at this pizza place that she knew would be right on highway 24 as we got into Fayetteville (I had been there once before, that's another story for another thread; Adam had never been there). We get there in record time, and don't see a Ford Fiesta. Give it five minutes, and here comes this red car.

Y'ALL. THE DRIVERS SIDE OF THE CAR WAS DRAGGING. This woman gets out, and she had never SEEN 115 pounds, she had skipped plum over it on her way directly to HFS. We make our introductions, and yeah, it's the one I've been talking to. Her friend that was supposed to hang out with Adam?? About 55 years old, and had exactly seven non-sequential teeth in her head. So, we get back in our respective vehicles so that me and Adam could follow them to her place. Adam looks at me and says "dude, I can't let you go through with this. Let's just tell them we got caught in traffic, and we'll haul *** back to the barracks." I tell him that we're not going to be rude, that she has alcohol, and we'd give it an hour and then bounce.

We get to her place, and I start pounding Jack Daniels like they ain't never gonna make no more. Adam's in the living room trying to fend off her friend, me and ol' girl are in the kitchen. Of course, my drunk self completely loses track of time and also loses the ability to stop the evening's festivities from proceeding as she had planned. The festivities end, and I start throwing my jeans back on, she asks where I'm going. I tell her "out to smoke", she wants me to hurry back so we can cuddle and discuss our potential relationship.

I sneak out into the front room, Adam's fully dressed on one couch asleep, her friend's on another asleep. I wake Adam up by putting my hand over his mouth and whisper "we're TF out of here, dude". He and I head out the front door, wind up pushing his car backwards out of the driveway (didn't want to turn it on because the headlights would have come on), and getting directions back to Jacksonville from a NC State Trooper.

Needless to say, I had roughly 350 messages the next day telling me what a bad person I was, and how we could have had a wonderful and fulfilling relationship.

Do you think drinking the water at Camp Lejeune could have affected your judgment in these two instances. If so you could get a financial windfall.

 

[Wireless1]

Went to Michael's one night in 1983 and....well..., I guess that's not really a "dating" story. HA!

Let us determine that

 

[joevol33]

Do you think drinking the water at Camp Lejeune could have affected your judgment in these two instances. If so you could get a financial windfall.

I was gonna ask

 

[DeusExMachina]

Do you think drinking the water at Camp Lejeune could have affected your judgment in these two instances. If so you could get a financial windfall.

That was way before my time.

 

[davethevol]

I had one come back to me. OK. I'll do two. I wan't a dating machine, so my opportunities for fitting stories are limited. And I'm in the secod half of my 50's now so one coming to mind takes time.

1. I attended FHU when I first went to college. Transferred to ACU after 3 semesters for 2 years. Came back to FHU for a weekend visit with a close buddy I grew up in church with that was now attending there. Met several of his friends that started attending after I trasnferred and naturally we all hit it off. One was dating a girl and said another girl saw me and wanted to go out. So, we doubled. Chuck thought he was Steve Perry, so he belted out Journey songs to the cassette as we headed up to Jackson. Steve Perry he was not, neither were his high notes. WEl, it was a date not to brag about so much. The girl was sharp and well built. But, the conversation was difficult at best. We get back and i walk her to hte dorm while they wait in the car for me. Said our goodbyes, didn't even kiss. Found out later after I left that she had been telling people I tried to take advantage of her. Which was alarming cause I still knew alot of people there. Fast forward. I transferred back to FHU for my senior year. She was no longer in school there, but I ended up in the same club as her brother. Come to find out she was now a stripper.

2. Not a bad date, but the beginning of a bad marriage. First wife and I met. I didn't really notice her at first. But, my roomie said man that girl sitting over there is burning a hole through you. After some coaxing I went and broke the ice. And we ended up dating, and eventually marrying. But, as young love goes, sometimes red flags go unattended. she seemed to have another personality that had a name. And they had regular conversations. But that's a whole different episode of stories. Fast forward to wedding night, she does the long bath and getting dressed up stuff. Bout the time we make it to the bed for the rituals, she breaks down crying for hours. No explanation. Eventually, we have a less than stellar and brief "wedding night." Lot's of stuff happened over the following 3.5 years, including her running around and we eventually divorced. One of her parting shots was she probably never really loved me, and the reason she cried on our wedding night is that's when she realized what she had done. No kids wth her though. Thank God. She wouldn't have been capable. One of her jobs was bay sitting an infant. I did all the baby sitting. After about a month, I took the the mother off to the side and recommended she not use my wife anymore, that i wasn't comfortable having their baby in our house if I happened to not be there. So, it was a qucik and clean parting. She was the OG cray cray in the head. Haven't heard of her in many, many years. But, I do have a host of stories about her though. So, I did have that going for me.

That first story reminds me of a girl a knew in college. She was way more wild than she let on. Sorority girl, honor role, attended church. Hung out with her and a few friends on a New Year’s Eve. Out of know where she yells out to me in this small bar “hey, wanna see my boobs?” Flashes me and everyone else in there. Completely caught me off guard. Nothing physical happens that night and found out later that she told her friends that my buddy and I tried to sexually assault her. We started noticing people acting weird around us and had no clue why. Eventually someone told us what she had been saying. It was absolutely crazy. Found out later she was a huge coke head and was hooking up 50 year old married men for money and gifts. Her friends started figuring this out and distanced themselves from her. It’s a real shame. She was a very pretty and smart girl.

 

[hog88]

Clue 1 should have been she's online from Fayette Nam meaning no one from Bragg or Pope would touch that.

Marine - enough said.

 

[DeusExMachina]

Marine - enough said.

Marine + drinking problem (I had probably drank a fifth of Evan Williams prior to ever getting on the computer, because that's what I did every single day) + dry spell in the nocturnal physical training department = you're not wrong. Definitely wasn't employing my "brain housing group" to its fullest extent.

 

[Firebirdparts]

Bumping this 5* thread just for a stupid funny picture:

 

[Pennheel]

Bumping this 5* thread just for a stupid funny picture:
View attachment 561352

Lol.... While online dating worked out for me in the end(met my fiancee) , I met my share of women from this country you speak of. It was definitely a case of live and learn.

 

[Toujours Pret]

Bumping this 5* thread just for a stupid funny picture:
View attachment 561352

Those ones are always the funnest though.