Well, gee, I had this well-crafted response that just vanished when I tried to edit it... lol, but dammit!
Anyway, what I was trying to post is that much of what underlies addiction issues is the feeling that we are missing out on something. Love, or belonging, or meaningfulness, or something something.
We seem to have lost the idea of what makes A Good Life. There is a heart-hunger, a feeling that our souls have a big old hollow place that needs filling. And there doesn't seem to be anything there to fill it, so we go for stim (stimulation), whether it's alcohol, or drugs, or gambling or sex or whatever.
And that is not accidental. Because meanwhile, there is a HUGE industry that is dependent on making people feel inadequate. Not thin enough, cheekbones aren't high enough, BF/GF isn't hot enough, I'm not rich enough, I don't get laid enough, I'm not respected enough, my hair is too flat/ too fluffy/ too thin/ appearing in the wrong places (way too many wrong places), it's obvious that they aren't going to promote me, my armpits are kinda funky, my car gears down at the wrong point when I am accelerating, and on and on. Someone is making money off of your pain.
If we buy into Mad Ave and media and the general frenzy, if we believe that if we will just do thus-and-so, then we'll be happy. But it's all a lie, and it only makes us feel more lost and hollow. Somehow or another, we have to find where the "real" is, because when we live that, that's the only way that we will feel complete.
So I hope that your loved ones can see through the lies that we are all fed about how-it-ought-to-be and find their real.
And meanwhile, I hope we have a great coach in this position, whether David Johnson or Tee Martin, and Go Effing Vols!
