Official offseason posting contest: Number I (winner chosen)

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#676
#676
The Dog said:
Yes, if one of your kids are involved in anything, u will learn to love it. My son played AYSO soccer for a couple of years and was a star. They even moved him up an age group, even tho he was small for his age, he had mad talent. So, I took him to try out for one of those travelling teams. He made it and ended up leading that team in goals scored. So I ended up spending the next 5 years paying thousands for fees, uniforms and hotel rooms. He played in Atlanta, Birmingham, Nashville, Murfreesboro, Lexington, Greenville SC and many other cities in the southeastern US. When he first started playing soccer, to say I wasn't a fan would be an understatement. Now, I love it and watch the US men's and women's teams everytime they are on TV. I watched every EURO Cup game last summer, live for the World Cup and even watch the Premier League when I get a chance. Your kids have a power to make u love what they love.
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Truth!
 
#677
#677
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:

'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'

Michael said, 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'

The teacher responded by saying, 'That would be rude and impolite.'

'What about you, Sherman, how would you say it?'

Sherman said, 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.'

'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.'

'And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?'

'I would say, 'Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.''
 
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#679
#679
So a pair of Tennessee Waltz cigars for my departing boss. Turns out he's a cigar smoker and the Waltz is one of the finer cigars I have smoked. I hope he enjoys them and is happy to get back with his family.
 
#680
#680
WoodsmanVol said:
My husband came inside after mowing the big lawn. I figured he had a mind for a cool shower and a colder beer. Not necessarily in that order. Instead he stumbled into the room. Orange sweat oozing from his skin. Muttering almost indistinctly, "Volunteers, Volunteers, Tennessee Volunteers." All the while with just a hint of tears in his eyes. Not yet streaming down but close to it. Knew right away what the trouble was. Happens 'bout this time every summer. Preseason Vol fever! I got it too just not as bad as he did. Probably on account of being Arizona bred and Kiowa born. Every year I had to give up the bulk of my time nursing him back to health. Medication usually consisted of soothing words. Donning my skimpy orange and white dress. Sitting on his lap feeding him bite sized deer burgers and Leinenkugel's [FONT=&quot]Orange Shandy [/FONT]beer. This year was the worst yet. Even the tears welling in his eyes were orange. I knew this time he needed something beyond the usual. Now I love the Vols ever since he started dragging me to Neyland years ago. And I love my husband. But I've already sacrificed so much on account of his annual affliction. This time I had to use the money I'd saved. Some from fishing in his pockets on laundry day and some from my part time job. A darn good 5,660 bucks. Like I said, I love him and the Vols both but began to question the toll and toil of doing so.

This time I went beyond the usual to relieve his misery. Got a Hitachi 55" 1080p HD LED TV from Newegg for a mere $240. We already have three TVs. A 36" Sanyo he uses as a monitor. A 40" JVC I use for video-conferencing in the workroom. A 44" Samsung in the living room we use for regular watching. I put that one in the bedroom and replaced it with the new Hitachi. Then I got a Toshiba Tecra and VGA to HDMI converter to hook it to the old tech Samsung for KODI use as insurance, sort of. Finally linked the Hitachi to our ROKU 3 and a Chromecast dongle added just for good measure. OK, I didn’t do all this tech stuff myself. I got good ole DIY Dorothy from three houses down to help. She wasn't a Vols fan, being a Montgomery, Alabama girl. But as we finished and tested everything including streaming an old Vols-Gator game. This caused me to start trembling and sneezing. Eight days later, DIY Dorothy called and asked me to drive her to her doctor. The doctor's diagnosis. . .she had Vol fever. It was then I decided the sacrifices I make for my husband's yearly infirmities were well worth it. We had Volized a Bama!

http://woodsmanvol.crevado.com/woodsmanvol-graphics/4716301
4716301
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I've got to find me a woman like this!
 
#681
#681
The Dog said:
Yes, if one of your kids are involved in anything, u will learn to love it. My son played AYSO soccer for a couple of years and was a star. They even moved him up an age group, even tho he was small for his age, he had mad talent. So, I took him to try out for one of those travelling teams. He made it and ended up leading that team in goals scored. So I ended up spending the next 5 years paying thousands for fees, uniforms and hotel rooms. He played in Atlanta, Birmingham, Nashville, Murfreesboro, Lexington, Greenville SC and many other cities in the southeastern US. When he first started playing soccer, to say I wasn't a fan would be an understatement. Now, I love it and watch the US men's and women's teams everytime they are on TV. I watched every EURO Cup game last summer, live for the World Cup and even watch the Premier League when I get a chance. Your kids have a power to make u love what they love.
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I was at the gym a few weeks ago, and stood in front of the tv for 30 minutes watching college swimming. I understand what you mean!
 
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#684
#684
joevol33 said:
I was at the gym a few weeks ago, and stood in front of the tv for 30 minutes watching college swimming. I understand what you mean!
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Congrats on your daughter making the final 8. So sorry, the weather cancelled the finals. Btw, great pic of u and your daughter in another thread
 
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#686
#686
Behr said:
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:

'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'

Michael said, 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'

The teacher responded by saying, 'That would be rude and impolite.'

'What about you, Sherman, how would you say it?'

Sherman said, 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.'

'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.'

'And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?'

'I would say, 'Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.''
Click to expand...

Lol
 
#691
#691
Grass is cut! That frees up my weekend, which means it'll probably rain!
 
#695
#695
We started my oldest (almost 4) in karate today, he did well. I was more into swimming and baseball than martial arts. His high energy level and need to please everyone in the room should go well with martial arts.

He's so tiny though, his Gi is the smallest we could find and swallows him, grandma is trying to customize it and take a few inches out.

Proud Papa right here!
 

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#696
#696
BEATBAMA12 said:
We started my oldest (almost 4) in karate today, he did well. I was more into swimming and baseball than martial arts. His high energy level and need to please everyone in the room should go well with martial arts.

He's so tiny though, his Gi is the smallest we could find and swallows him, grandma is trying to customize it and take a few inches out.

Proud Papa right here!
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Awesome. Hope he does well in it.
 
#697
#697
I hate the day after cutting grass, my allergies get me good.
 
#698
#698
joevol33 said:
I hate the day after cutting grass, my allergies get me good.
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Claritin is your friend and my best friend.

Btw all wheel drive mowers are a pain to change belts and drive cable on. Go with standard front wheel drive push mowers, easier to work on
 
#699
#699
BEATBAMA12 said:
Claritin is your friend and my best friend.

Btw all wheel drive mowers are a pain to change belts and drive cable on. Go with standard front wheel drive push mowers, easier to work on
Click to expand...

I've got a flat on my riding mower, I've just not taken the time to fix. I have a self propelled push mower that's awesome though.
 
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