Kentucky Jokes!!!!

#52
#52
A Vol Fan in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a Kentucky joke?"

The guy next to him replies, "Before you tell that joke you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs. and I'm from Kentucky. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", 225 lbs. and he's from Kentucky. The fella next to him is 6'5, 250 lbs. and also from kentucky. Do you still want to tell that joke?"

The Vol Fan says, "Nah. I don't want to have to explain it three times."
 
#53
#53
TheTennesseeTom said:
Inbreeding originated in Kentucky! Here is the history!
fugates.jpg

Lorenzo Dow Fugate and Eleanor Fugate

Being part Appalachian, Kentuckians are used to inbreeding jokes. However, there is one joke about Kentucky and inbreeding that's funny because it's true: The story of the Blue Fugates of Troublesome Creek. The Fugates were an extended family living in an isolated hollow in Eastern Kentucky ominously named Troublesome Creek. Most members of the family had "hereditary methemoglobinemia." This is an enzyme deficiency that causes a person's blood to run vein blue as opposed to arterial red. Instead of being pink, these people are tinted blue or purple. The condition is based on a recessive gene; the only way to acquire it is if both your parents pass down the love. So what were the odds of clan founder Martin Fugate taking another methemoglobinemia carrier as his wife? He did, and they settled in Troublesome Creek sometime in the mid 19th Century. Cousins marrying cousins was commonplace among isolated Appalachians, so by the time a doctor discovered the Fugates in the 1960s, there were several blue people living in the hills around Hazard.
Click to expand...


I wonder if this has anything to do with the term "blue bloods", you know how the wealthy are encouraged in certain circles to only marry the wealthy?
 
#59
#59
I40VOL said:
everyone has an opinion and no one is right or wrong...i guess i just take it a little more serious thats all
Click to expand...

Huh? :crazy: It's a game man. You might need help if you can't laugh at it once in a while.
 
#66
#66
Two guys from KY are deer hunting and one of them has a terrible accident. His buddy dials 911 and screams to the operator that his buddy is dead what should I do? The operator instructs him to first make sure the guy is really dead before they do anything else. There was a loud bang and the KY guy says ok now what?
 
#68
#68
A Kentucky boy came running up to his father and said, "Daddy, Daddy, I’ve met the woman I want to marry!"

The father says, "Tell me about her son".

The son says, "Well, she’s pretty, she can cook, and Daddy, Daddy, she's a virgin!"

The father says, "Well son, if she isn’t good enough for their family, then she isn’t good enough for ours."
 
#69
#69
utvolpj said:
that's just because you don't take it seriously enough VolDad
Click to expand...

I am 100% convinced that the Vols lose only in the weeks that I do not imcrease my post total by at least 2%. On a serious note, if things are going badly for the Vols I will change from pne couch to another in an attempt to influence the game.
 
#70
#70
rexvol said:
I am 100% convinced that the Vols lose only in the weeks that I do not imcrease my post total by at least 2%. On a serious note, if things are going badly for the Vols I will change from pne couch to another in an attempt to influence the game.
Click to expand...

Rex, I keep a spare orange shirt hanging in the den so I can change at halftime if it's not going well. I also switch UT hats repeatedly just trying to get the Vols the spark they need. :)
 
#71
#71
A Tennessee farmer living on the KY/TN border wants to play a prank on his KY neighbor. He dresses up as a magician and knocks on his KY neighbor's door. "Hello, there. I'm walking around these farms to interview the animals."

The KY neighbor says, "Real cute. I'm sure all of these animals will talk to you."

The TN farmer then says, "Well, ask your dog over here and let me ask him some questions."

The KY farmer says, "Ok, whatever. DUKE! get over here boy!" Duke the dog walks up. The TN farmer says, "Hey there Duke. How's your owner treatin ya?"

Duke responds, "He's great. He gives me plenty of water and acres to roam."

The KY neighbor, amazed, asks, "How did you get my dog to speak?"

The TN farmer says, "I just can."

Then the KY neighbor says, "Can you talk to horses?"

The TN farmer says, "Yes I can. Come over here Stella!!"

All of a sudden, a beautiful horse named Stella comes trottin up.

The TN farmer asks, "How ya doing Stella? Does your owner treat you well?"

Stella says, "Yes he does. I get plenty of room to run, an abundance of hay, and a roof over my head when I sleep.


The KY neighbor, amazed, says, "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!! Even my horse can talk!!"

Then the TN farmer asks, "Can I talk with those sheep over there?"

The KY neighbor hesitates, and says, "THEM SHEEP ARE LIARS!!"
 
#72
#72
utvolpj said:
Rex, I keep a spare orange shirt hanging in the den so I can change at halftime if it's not going well. I also switch UT hats repeatedly just trying to get the Vols the spark they need. :)
Click to expand...

I have an orange TN sweatshirt that I refuse to wear during game time because I am convinced it was the cause of the 2005 season. On Saturday around the end of the 1st quarter I overheard a child behind me tell his dad that he was cold. I reached into my bag and offered the shirt.

It was so incredibly difficult not yanking that shirt off of that child during the rest of the game.
 
#73
#73
I accused my wife of jinxing us beacuse she said "This game's over." when we were up on SoCar.
 
#75
#75
Man driving down a KY backroad sees a pig with a wooden hind leg cross the road. he stops to ask the farmer whats up. Farmer says LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THAT PIG!! He woke up the family when there was a fire, drug the baby out to safety. He killed a rattle snake just as it was gonna strike me. He pulled my 3year old girl from the path of a truck. Yeah thats great said the man, but what about the wooden leg? Farmer replied, Good Lord man, you don't eat a pig like that all at once.
 
New posts
You must log in or register to reply here.
Advertisement



Back
Top