Kentucky Jokes!!!!

#1
jlaw008

jlaw008

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Oct 30, 2007
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#1
A Tennessee Vol was visiting a farm in Kentucky when he came upon two men sawing
slots above the barn door. He asked the men what they were doing. They told
him that every time the mules camein they hit their ears. The Volunteer told them
to just dig out
from under the door, then he left. The Kentuckians said, “That is just like a damn
Volunteer! The mules ears are to long, not their legs.”
 
#3
#3
Those poor Kentuckians...
They'll have to drink their Kool Aid warm now...
The last person who had the recipe for ice died last week!!
 
#4
#4
Some Kentuckians were setting up a naivity scene for Christmas Eve church services. The Hoosier minister walked by and said, "That nativity scene looks pretty good, but why are the three wise men wearing firefighters' hats?" "Don't you know nothin' about the Bible?" one of the Kentuckians asked. "Scripture says, 'The wise men came from AFAR!'"
 
#5
#5
Person 1: "Did you hear about the war between Tennessee and Kentucky?"

Person 2: "No, what happened?"

Person 1: "The Kentuckians started throwing bombs to Tennessee and we lit them and threw them back!"
 
#6
#6
Q: What's the difference between a KY cheerleader and a
catfish?

A: One stinks and has whiskers, and the other one is a fish.
 
#7
#7
KY love ballad: "When I 1st met you I just had to laugh,
I saw both your teeth,
The top one was a buck,
The bottem a buck n a half
 
#8
#8
On the border of Kentucky and Tennessee there's a small forest. Half of the forest belongs to a Kentucky farmer, while the other half belongs to a Tennessee man.

One day, while out for a walk in the woods, the Tennessee man comes across a wolf caught in a trap. He rushes back to his house and calls his Kentucky neighbor.

“There's one of your wolves caught in a trap on my side of the forest.”

“How do you know it's one of our wolves?” the Kentucky farmer asked.

Well, the Tennessee man replied, he's already chewed off three of his legs and he's still trapped.
 
#9
#9
On the border of Kentucky and Tennessee there's a small forest. Half of the forest belongs to a Kentucky farmer, while the other half belongs to a Tennessee man.

One day, while out for a walk in the woods, the Tennessee man comes across a wolf caught in a trap. He rushes back to his house and calls his Kentucky neighbor.

“There's one of your wolves caught in a trap on my side of the forest.”

“How do you know it's one of our wolves?” the Kentucky farmer asked.

Well, the Tennessee man replied, he's already chewed off three of his legs and he's still trapped.
Click to expand...


:post-4-1090547912:
 
#12
#12
Word on the street….KY coaches will only dress 20 players for the TN game. The rest of the players will have to dress themselves!
 
#13
#13
Q.) How can you tell that the toothbrush was invented in
Kentucky?

A.) If it was invented in another state, it would have been called a
teethbrush.
 
#15
#15
Two Kentuckians enter a bar and start celebrating and buying drinks for everyone. "What's the occasion?" asks the bartender. "We just finished working a jigsaw puzzle! It only took us three months!" One of them answered. "Three months" scoffed the bartender, "It should have only taken about two days." "Oh yeah!" said one of them, "The box said four to six years!"
 
#16
#16
Q: How Did The Kentucky Football Quarterback Die Drinking Milk?

A: The Cow Sat On Him
 
#18
#18
Why do UK Grads display their UK degrees on the dashboards of their cars?

So they can park in the handicapped zone.
 
#19
#19
c'mon, lets here some gooduns'!!

How do you catch a Kentucky Player?

You follow him around real quiet like, and then, when he bends down to take a drink you slam the toilet seat lid down on his head.
 
#20
#20
How do we know DEFINITIVELY that the toothbrush was invented at UT science labs?
If it had been invented anywhere else it would have been called a TEETHBRUSH.
Sorry fellas couldn't resist. Looking forward to a great game Saturday!!!
 
#22
#22
:crazy:

Crackin' jokes is fun and all, but I'm worried the joke'll be on us this weekend if we don't come to play.
 
#23
#23
AmoebaVol said:
:crazy:

Crackin' jokes is fun and all, but I'm worried the joke'll be on us this weekend if we don't come to play.
Click to expand...

The fans must have the same attitude as the players. If we (the Vols) go into the game "worried", we will lose. Come on, have some Faith. I have no doubt in my mind we will WIN this football game, and I know our team feels the same way.

Attitude=90% Of Success
 
#24
#24
did you hear about the 3 million KY lottery?

the winner gets three dollars a year for a million years.
 
#25
#25
A man was driving down a country road in Lexington and saw this farmer having sex with a sheep! He went to the house and banged on the door... a young woman answered the door, and the man said, "There's this farmer having sex with a sheep over there by the barn!". The young woman said "That's my da-aa-aa-aa-aa-dy"
 
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