To Mr. Bradley, and all sportswriters of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
From: Big Orange Nation.
Subject: Your SEC predictions.
Gentlemen,
I write this today as a proud fan of the Tennessee Volunteers. I find myself sickened and disgusted by your blatant lack of anything approaching sports knowledge, as well as your rampant "homerism" as pertaining to all teams not named Tennessee. Recently, during your misguided "predictions" of the records of the teams in the Southeastern Conference, you picked the Volunteers to finish with four wins and eight losses. How this would be achieved is beyond my grasp, but allow me to refute your argument by introducing you to the cast of characters that will do all in their power to ensure that this eventuality never comes to light.
Head Coach Lane Kiffin: Okay, I'll give you the fact that our new head coach has already drawn the ire of Saint Urban on his first day on the job; and probably angered Pope Timothy the XVth as well. However, he is still the very same man that learned at the side of Coach Pete Carroll, and is the very same man that took on the unenviable task of correcting the myriad of problems with the NFL's Oakland Raiders. Coach Kiffin, while hamstrung by the owner of the team, actually succeeded in improving one of the NFL's most anemic offenses in his short time there. I see no reason why he will be unable to do the same in Knoxville, where he will be able to do as he sees fit.
Defensive Coordinator Monte Kiffin: A man that really needs no introduction. A man that led the NFL's Tampa Bay Buccaneers defense to finish in the Top 5-10 for what, 10 years or so?? A man that All-American safety Eric Berry (more on him momentarily) once called "the Google of defense". A man that walks on the job and inherits a defense that finished third in the nation the prior year in total defense. Barring injuries to every player on the starting defense, I see no reason for our defense to slip any under the tutelage of Coach Kiffin the Senior.
Eric Berry: Arguably the best safety to ever put on a helmet for the University of Tennessee, and a player that is being talked about (before playing a single snap this season, mind you) for the most prestigious award in all of college football. But, if you need an introduction, give Knowshon Moreno a call up in Denver. Ask if he remembers #14 from Tennessee last year.
I could very well go on with this, but I have neither the time nor the inclination to do so. I find myself still attempting to rationalize how you allowed yourself to write such a mistake-filled article. A little research never hurt anyone, gentlemen. But, inasmuch as I am a Volunteer fan, I'm also a realist, and somewhat of a pragmatist. Therefore, I propose a wager. If Tennessee finishes with more than four wins, you print an apology for underestimating our coaches, our players, and the "12th Player", the Volunteer fans. And, if you are correct, and Tennessee finishes with only four wins, I will post on YouTube videos of myself going to each college that we lose to, in full Tennessee regalia, and allowing every passer-by to heckle and ridicule me for two hours.
I thank you for your time, and in closing, want to say this. It's great to be a Volunteer.
Thank you,
JimBeamVolsFan
Posted via VolNation Mobile