Most of the nonsense trying to make a difference between dying with or of COVID was a coordinated attempt to downplay the severity of the illness. Similarly to other infectious illnesses, it doesn't actually factor into the death toll numbers. They can count how many more people died during a pandemic than expected, and account for people who died without even getting diagnosed with it in the first place.
This is something that we know about from previous work at understanding estimated flu burden, when more people die of flu than are diagnosed with the flu during seasonal outbreaks.
I understand a lot of people looked for some alternative explanation for what was happening. A lot of people want to believe there is some grand conspiracy out there and not microscopic airborne illnesses that can kill you no matter how strong you are, or what you eat, or how much you exercise or social. But that's simply the truth.