If you think marriage is a “get out of hell free card”, you appear to have even less knowledge of Christianity than I do of rap music

. Hell is quite well populated with heterosexual married persons I assure you. Humanity is infected with original sin (pride and wanting to take Gods place, not sex as many claim) and we all are afflicted by it and doomed to hell. There is no humanly provided title or certificate that can absolve is of that. That was the reason Luther (not Volnation Luther) scoffed at the practice of indulgences from the Pope.
There is only one ticket out and that is faith in Jesus Christ.