Bad jokes. Dad jokes and whatnot

[NEVolFan]

 

[Hoosier_Vol]

How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne?

It’s when the blind try to read your face.

 

[Hoosier_Vol]

Boy complains to his father: You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool! But you forgot to mention one thing!

Father: Really, what?

Boy: That the potato should go in the front

 

[MyBloodRunnethOrange]

 

[Matt2496]

I thought about telling a time travelling joke, but you guys didn't like it.

 

[malinoisvol]

Know whatcha get when you cross a hooker and a midget? A short little fawker bout this tall (places hand on someone's head).

 

[malinoisvol]

What does a hooker do on her day off? Spends her fawking money.

 

[Weezer]

Know whatcha get when you cross a hooker and a midget? A short little fawker bout this tall (places hand on someone's head).

The correct answer is a good time.

 

[Souce]

What does a hooker do on her day off? Spends her fawking money.

wtf

 

[Souce]

Why does Scrooge love all of the reindeer?



Because every buck is dear to him!

 

[hmanvolfan]

Why does Scrooge love all of the reindeer?



Because every buck is dear to him!

Yeah, that one is pretty bad.

 

[MyBloodRunnethOrange]

Yeah, that one is pretty bad.

 

[Souce]

Everyone is jealous of my jokes!

 

[VolNExile]

Bad joke that women like but maybe not so much the guys:

Q: How is sex like snow?
A: You never know how many inches you’re going to get, or how long it will last.

Ba-dum-pish

 

[MyBloodRunnethOrange]

Here's one my wife told me:

How are men like carpets

If you lay them right the first time you can walk over them for 20 years.

 

[malinoisvol]

Here's one my wife told me:

How are men like carpets

If you lay them right the first time you can walk over them for 36 years.

Ffm

 

[VolNExile]

Here's one my wife told me:

How are men like carpets

If you lay them right the first time you can walk over them for 20 years.

 

[Souce]

Bad joke that women like but maybe not so much the guys:

Q: How is sex like snow?
A: You never know how many inches you’re going to get, or how long it will last.

Ba-dum-pish

 

[Weezer]

A wise man once said, life is like a penis, women make it hard.

 

[Carl Pickens]

Helen Keller walks into a bar......

 

[Carl Pickens]

And then a table....

 

[Carl Pickens]

And then a chair....

 

[Carl Pickens]

Why was Tigger looking in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh

 

[hmanvolfan]

 

[DD4ME]

What do you call a blind deer?

No eye deer