Bad jokes. Dad jokes and whatnot

[rocytop2624]

I'm not a well-known member. It's the lurker's curse I guess. It seems perfectly natural to join in a discussion, but to the participants it's like a stranger just popped out of the wall and started talking.

I am picking up what your putting down.

 

[Quaint88]

Did you hear about the population of Ireland’s capital?

Spoiler

It’s Dublin.

 

[Quaint88]

How many apples grow on a tree?

Spoiler

All of them.

 

[hmanvolfan]

I'm not a well-known member. It's the lurker's curse I guess. It seems perfectly natural to join in a discussion, but to the participants it's like a stranger just popped out of the wall and started talking.

So yore a wallflower?

 

[Quaint88]

So yore a wallflower?

Nice! Now that y'all know I'm here, it's like, "Where's Walldo? Oh, there he is... between the two people trying to have a conversation."

 

[joevol33]

Nice! Now that y'all know I'm here, it's like, "Where's Walldo? Oh, there he is... between the two people trying to have a conversation."

I always had issues with Waldo's glasses

 

[Weezer]

I always had issues with Waldo's glasses

It's because you're a bigot.

 

[Behr]

It's because you're a bigot.

You say that like its a bad thing.

 

[rocytop2624]

Nice! Now that y'all know I'm here, it's like, "Where's Walldo? Oh, there he is... between the two people trying to have a conversation."

Are you a cop?

 

[Behr]

Are you a cop?

Doesn't matter, good grief. You got a cop joke, tell it.

 

[Quaint88]

Are you a cop?

No, I'm not even cop affiliated.

 

[Weezer]

No, I'm not even cop affiliated.

Sounds like something a cop might say.

 

[rocytop2624]

Doesn't matter, good grief. You got a cop joke, tell it.

If I did it would probably just go over your head.

 

[hmanvolfan]

If I did it would probably just go over your head.

Because it would be so lightweight?

 

[Weezer]

When a female cop says "Anything you say can and will be used against you", apparently "boobs" is the wrong answer.

 

[Behr]

I used a hair dryer to dry off my peen last night and Chupa walked in. She asked what I was doing. Evidently "warming up your dinner" was a good answer.

 

[Behr]

If I did it would probably just go over your head.

A termite walked in a bar and said "is the bartender here?"

Get it ?

 

[Weezer]

I used a hair dryer to dry off my peen last night and Chupa walked in. She asked what I was doing. Evidently "warming up your dinner" was a good answer.

No wonder she's so skinny. She doesn't eat much.

 

[Behr]

No wonder she's so skinny. She doesn't eat much.

Lol, did you think of that all by yourself?

 

[Weezer]

Lol, did you think of that all by yourself?

Yes, but I have to credit the set up. Made it extremely simple.

 

[malinoisvol]

 

[Behr]

A weasel walks into a bar.

The bartender asks "what can I get you"?

" Pop", goes the weasel.

 

[Hoosier_Vol]

 

[Behr]

First one was the funniest one.

 

[Weezer]

First one was the funniest one.

My past drinking taught me to always go with the one in the middle.