The Paul Bain Thread (merged)

#253
#253
His poop is considered currency in Argentina!



Did I ever tell you about the time Bain took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off lookin’ for a bar and we can’t find one. Finally, Bain takes me into a vacant lot and says, “Here we are!” Well, we sat there for a year and a half. Sure enough, someone constructed a bar around us! Well, the day they opened it, we ordered a shot, drank it and then burnt the place to the ground. Bain yelled over the roar of the flames, ‘Always leave things the way you found them!'
 
#255
#255
DaddyChad said:
Did I ever tell you about the time Paul Bain took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can’t find one. Finally, Bain takes me into a vacant lot and says, ‘Here we are.’ Well, we sat there for a year and a half. Sure enough, someone constructed a bar around us. Well, the day they opened it, we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burnt the place to the ground. Bain yelled over the roar of the flames, ‘Always leave things the way you found them!'
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WRE3 said:
Did I ever tell you about the time Bain took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off lookin’ for a bar and we can’t find one. Finally, Bain takes me into a vacant lot and says, “Here we are!” Well, we sat there for a year and a half. Sure enough, someone constructed a bar around us! Well, the day they opened it, we ordered a shot, drank it and then burnt the place to the ground. Bain yelled over the roar of the flames, ‘Always leave things the way you found them!'
Click to expand...

What are the chances?
 
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#258
#258
Ozzy Osbourne once bit the head off of a bat. Paul Bain bit the head off batman.
Someone once bet Paul Bain he couldn't sh*t on the ceiling. Michelangelo still owes him twenty bucks.
Paul Bain hit puberty in the second trimester.
If the axiom ,"You are what you eat" is true, then Paul Bain is a combination of monster truck tires, nitro fuel, and bald eagles.
 
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#259
#259
Objects in Paul Bain's mirror appear at the right distance.
When Paul Bain wants a salad, he eats a vegitariain.
When Paul Bain breaks wind, it stays broken.
Paul Bain once defeated a laser beam in a forty yard sprint.
 
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#263
#263
Paul Bain could defeat ISIS with nothing more than a razor scooter and a hickory stick, but it would violate all the Geneva Conventions.
 
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#266
#266
When the Incredible Hulk gets angry he turns into Paul Bain.
When alone at night, Paul Bain likes to wear bunny slippers. REAL LIVE BUNNIES.
Paul Bain's blood type is D.O.A.
 
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#268
#268
Paul Bain once brought a dying baby calf back to life. Once it was fully resuscitated, he promptly killed it. Afterwards he was quoted, "The Paul giveth and The Paul taketh away."
 
#271
#271
The only reason we never went back to the moon, is because Paul Bain didn't give us permission.
 
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