Your ability to pay doesn't mean you love your daughter anymore than someone else who paid the minimum of what the courts ordered, but still wasn't enough for the mother. Consider your situation to be the exception, where you apparently are able to pacify your ex with extra payments that (right now) are keeping you out of court. The very fact that you admit you pay extra to pacify her indicates a problem with the system. Unfortunately, some guys may be doing their part, but fall behind thru no fault of their own (bad economy, layoff, bad weather for some careers in construction, etc) and have to deal with a mother and a court system that doesn't care about their situation. And you are correct, if they fall in arrears, that doesn't go away. In a normal situation, if a man goes through a downturn in income, the family usually goes without or makes adjustments until dad is back on his feet... but the dad isn't expected to make catch up payments on the previous months change in lifestyle. If a father in the home chooses to cut out $120 cable bill and they spend $80 less a month on groceries and gas for 6 months, is that father in arrears for $1200 ($200 X 6 months)?
