Whuppin the children: how soon is too soon?

#26
#26
DinkinFlicka said:
What could a 1 year old possibly absorb from a smack aside from a destabilizing blunt force, dude?

They can hardly walk at that point, let alone decipher right from wrong.
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Children are smarter than your giving them credit for. At one, they're starting to learn right from wrong. Is it a concept they have a firm grasp on? No, but they are certainly developing. At one, it's more about positive and negative reenforcement than it is punishment. One year olds tend to try to get into everything. Some things could be extremely hazardous. A swat on a diapered bottom does nothing more than hurt their feelings, while teaching them what they were doing was bad.

Most of the whoopings I received didn't hurt physically. What hurt most was knowing I'd done something to deserve it. I always got the "this is going to hurt me more" speech. The simple fact is, it was true. Some parents give that speech and it's insincere, but I knew my parents loved me, so I knew it really hurt them. That's what made it an effective punishment.

I've been whipped with a switch. Those things hurt like hell, but I learned my lesson. FTR, I could count the number of times I was whipped with a switch on one hand.

There's a difference between a whoopin' and beating your child. The concept that any whoopin' is child abuse and therefore barbaric is simply idiotic IMO. I have not seen the pics of AP's kid, so I have no opinion if he crossed a boundary. If he did, he deserves to be prosecuted, but the simple act of whooping your child shouldn't be construed as abuse.

Society and govt have overstepped their bounds when it comes to parenting, IMO. Children should be protected from actual abuse, but far too often judgements are made without sufficient knowledge of what actually happened. We've crossed a line where we're breeding a generation of enablers. Everyone and everything are to blame except for the individual him (or her)self.
 
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#27
#27
Just a comment on the NFL, I think they are overstepping their boundaries in these cases of domestic and child abuse themselves. Personally, I think the legal system should be allowed to pursue its case before the NFL takes action. Innocent until proven guilty is no longer the case. I think what Ray Rice did is despicable, but I think it should be dealt with in a court of law before the NFL as an employer should be able to take action. Should your employer be able to basically fire you because you've been accused of wrongdoing?
 
#28
#28
AP got into his kid's balls.

Screw him, his is an effin idiot whose only redeeming quality in life is that he was able to run faster and more powerfully than 99.99% of the rest of us.

Hope he never plays again.
 
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#29
#29
Weezer said:
Just a comment on the NFL, I think they are overstepping their boundaries in these cases of domestic and child abuse themselves. Personally, I think the legal system should be allowed to pursue its case before the NFL takes action. Innocent until proven guilty is no longer the case. I think what Ray Rice did is despicable, but I think it should be dealt with in a court of law before the NFL as an employer should be able to take action. Should your employer be able to basically fire you because you've been accused of wrongdoing?
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Yes. An employer should be able to fire you for any reason they want.
 
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#30
#30
DinkinFlicka said:
If anyone can argue against this, I'd like to see it.

Well said, McPun.
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Very simple. Not every child is on the same level. Not every child matures at the same pace. Each case has to be handled on an individual basis. Some children advance faster mentally and physically.

You could have 100 five year old kids and they all may be at a different mental level. Some may understand what's going on while others cannot. The post you're referring to is severely flawed.
 
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#32
#32
I looked up the pics on the net of Peterson's kid.....as many times as I got whipped I never looked anything like that afterwards ....much less at four years old. Peterson must be a complete idiot. That's abuse and he's an aszhole
 
#33
#33
I can understand perhaps in a moment of complete frustration using physical force to discipline but anyone using it has a standard has parenting problems. I was a fairly good child (never got into drugs,drinking, was always good in school) so I never really needed discipline. However I am very stubborn and when I know I'm right then I won't back down. I know on a couple occasions my dad 6'1' 230 AF veteran had came at me 5'11 150 (can't even lift like 75 pounds) and we both left with bruises broken glass and sprains.
That lost some respect for him

Later on he tried talking through issues which ended up a lot better for the both of us.

Point I am making is all kids are different and using a belt or switch is probably a negative alternative to a better form of discipline
 
#34
#34
I was whooped with a switch when I was four. I damn made sure I stayed out of trouble cause I knew it hurt like hell.
 
#35
#35
BigOrangeTrain said:
Stupid comment.
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1FCppEB.gif
 
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#36
#36
Carl Pickens said:
On the contrary....and I said not a painful swat. I meant more if an attention getting type of swat. Plus a one year old has a diaper on that's like body armor.

How many kids you have Dink? I've got four.....all very well mannered and behaved. I can assure you at some point in time they all received a pat on the fanny, but not much more.
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On the counter contrary, I didn't bring up pain.

Again, it doesn't take a parent to know that a 1 year old can't determine right from wrong. What are you even punishing them for? Crying? ****ting themselves? Falling down while trying to walk?
 
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#37
#37
My grandma, who is one of the meanest women I have ever met, used to brag about putting vicks vaporub in our eyes as kids.

Only time I ever remember being hit was my ex step-dad when I was prob 11 hit me in the head with one of those large salad tosser wooden spoon things. I just remember it hurt and when he turned around I threw my glass at his head.

He was tool though, he used to beat my mom. We never knew about that till we were in college and she finally told us why they divorced.
 
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#38
#38
Do Dr.s still smack a baby when it's born? That's the earliest it should be done.

On the "the baby needs the cognitive ability to..." front. I would imagine that if a baby touched something hot once or twice it would figure out not to touch it. The kid doesn't need a degree before it can link behavior and consequences.

Would you argue that babies can't react to positive rewards and that no learning takes place?

The bit I've heard on the subject indicates the big issue is timing the reward/punishment as close as possible to the behavior rather than none of this will cause learning until age "x"
 
#39
#39
volfanhill said:
Anything more then a slap on the ass is unacceptable. Anything more then that is just the parent making themselves feel better. You don't need a belt or switch to make a point.
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What the heck ever........yesterday my seven yr old pushed my 3 yr old into a wall.....the 3 yr old tackled the 7 yr old then the 7 yr old held the 3 yr old down....I made them stop and when the 3 yr old got up he hit my 7 yr old over the head with my wife's hair straightener. I don't think a whipping will bother them.
 
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#41
#41
DinkinFlicka said:
On the counter contrary, I didn't bring up pain.

Again, it doesn't take a parent to know that a 1 year old can't determine right from wrong. What are you even punishing them for? Crying? ****ting themselves? Falling down while trying to walk?
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Whatever...... You speak as if I'm promoting actually whipping a one year old. One day you'll have kids..... Hopefully you'll raise them correctly and they won't end up like you.
 
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#42
#42
BigOrangeTrain said:
Very simple. Not every child is on the same level. Not every child matures at the same pace. Each case has to be handled on an individual basis. Some children advance faster mentally and physically.

You could have 100 five year old kids and they all may be at a different mental level. Some may understand what's going on while others cannot. The post you're referring to is severely flawed.
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The only thing flawed here, is LG. My post had no arbitrary guideline on age. In fact, you essentially iterated my point. Punishments/rewards are only effective behavior modification tools after the child has the ability to correlate the two.
 
#43
#43
Weezer said:
Just a comment on the NFL, I think they are overstepping their boundaries in these cases of domestic and child abuse themselves. Personally, I think the legal system should be allowed to pursue its case before the NFL takes action. Innocent until proven guilty is no longer the case. I think what Ray Rice did is despicable, but I think it should be dealt with in a court of law before the NFL as an employer should be able to take action. Should your employer be able to basically fire you because you've been accused of wrongdoing?
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Happens all the time especially with DUI's.
 
#44
#44
McDad said:
The only thing flawed here, is LG. My post had no arbitrary guideline on age. In fact, you essentially iterated my point. Punishments/rewards are only effective behavior modification tools after the child has the ability to correlate the two.
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Sorry then, my bad :hi:
 
#45
#45
Carl Pickens said:
Whatever...... You speak as if I'm promoting actually whipping a one year old. One day you'll have kids..... Hopefully you'll raise them correctly and they won't end up like you.
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I'm not speaking that way. I literally just countered your post by the word. I know you weren't advocating that, which is why I was defending my original post.

If anyone isn't raising their kids to be better than themselves, then they're a bad parent, condescension aside. I happen to think I turned out alright despite my upbringing.
 
#46
#46
DinkinFlicka said:
I'm not speaking that way. I literally just countered your post by the word. I know you weren't advocating that, which is why I was defending my original post.

If anyone isn't raising their kids to be better than themselves, then they're a bad parent, condescension aside. I happen to think I turned out alright despite my upbringing.
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The bold is very true Dink. Sadly many are not these days imo.
 
#47
#47
zaqhhh said:
I can understand perhaps in a moment of complete frustration using physical force to discipline but anyone using it has a standard has parenting problems. I was a fairly good child (never got into drugs,drinking, was always good in school) so I never really needed discipline. However I am very stubborn and when I know I'm right then I won't back down. I know on a couple occasions my dad 6'1' 230 AF veteran had came at me 5'11 150 (can't even lift like 75 pounds) and we both left with bruises broken glass and sprains.
That lost some respect for him

Later on he tried talking through issues which ended up a lot better for the both of us.

Point I am making is all kids are different and using a belt or switch is probably a negative alternative to a better form of discipline
Click to expand...

i disagree.....i spank my kids....we sit down and talk about why they are getting spanked before i do it. i usually hug them afterwards which my wife tells me i am too soft. If i use timeout then i am usually the one punished bc i have to chase them around to make sure they stay in timeout. My kids love me with all their heart. i dont understand where the idea comes from that kids cant handle being spanked.
 
#50
#50
I was spanked growing up, my sisters would have to chew soap if they talked back, and there was timeout too but IMO the worst punishment as a kid, age 8+, was when my parents told me they were disappointed by my actions. that got my attention more than anything else and i tried to never do, whatever it was I had done, again.
 
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