The Unofficial Official make Fun of Utah State Thread

#51
#51
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eff6ef2c-f034-47de-98df-7d8791eab4b9.jpg
 
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#52
#52
Why can't Utah State Aggies get on the internet?

- They can't put three w's together


Why do USU grads place their diplomas on their windshields?

- So they can park in handicapped spots
 
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#55
#55
A elderly Mormon asked his doctor if he thought he'd live to be a hundred.

The doctor asked the man, "Do you smoke or drink?"

"No," he replied, "I've never done either."

"Do you gamble, drive fast cars, and fool around with women?" inquired the doctor.

"No, I've never done any of those things either."

"Well then," said the doctor, "what do you want to live to be a hundred for?"
 
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#72
#72
Dumb Utah Laws
- It is against the law to fish from horseback.
- When a person reaches the age of 50, he/she can then marry their cousin.
- It is illegal not to drink milk.
- It is illegal to detonate any nuclear weapon. You can have them, but you just can't detonate them.
- Birds have the right of way on all highways.
- A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence.
- You're not allowed to sell beverages containing more than 3.2% alcohol.
- It's legal for restaurants to serve wine with meals, but only if you ask for the wine list.
- It is considered an offense to hunt whales.

Kaysville
- You must have identification to enter a convenience store after dark.
Logan
- Women may not swear.
Monroe
- Daylight must be visible between partners on a dance floor.
Provo
- Throwing snowballs will result in a $50 fine.
Salt Lake City
- No one may walk down the street carrying a paper bag containing a violin.
Trout Creek
- Pharmacists may not sell gunpowder to cure headaches.
 
Last edited:
#74
#74
thebjd said:
Dumb Utah Laws
- It is against the law to fish from horseback.
- When a person reaches the age of 50, he/she can then marry their cousin.
- It is illegal not to drink milk.
- It is illegal to detonate any nuclear weapon. You can have them, but you just can't detonate them.
- Birds have the right of way on all highways.
- A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence.
- You're not allowed to sell beverages containing more than 3.2% alcohol.
- It's legal for restaurants to serve wine with meals, but only if you ask for the wine list.
- It is considered an offense to hunt whales.

Kaysville
- You must have identification to enter a convenience store after dark.
Logan
- Women may not swear.
Monroe
- Daylight must be visible between partners on a dance floor.
Provo
- Throwing snowballs will result in a $50 fine.
Salt Lake City
- No one may walk down the street carrying a paper bag containing a violin.
Trout Creek
- Pharmacists may not sell gunpowder to cure headaches.
Click to expand...

Most of those are probably true, came from a website my son likes to read about stupid laws in EVERY State, Utah is no exception I'm sure. The 3.2% alcohol law you cited is absolutely false. First, it's 3.2% by WEIGHT - alcohol content, as you probably know, is measured by ABV - aka volume. 3.2% by weight = 4% (anyone drink lite beer? check the ABV it's 4%ish) by volume. AND that's only sold in grocery stores and gas stations (the 7-elev if you will). Bars and restaurants can serve ANY strength of beer and pretty much any liquor they want. You can buy full strength beer in Utah... at the damn liquor store. BUT because they are run by the State, they carry EVERYTHING so no having to shop around. AND there are no dry counties or Cities in Utah, unlike the south where some bible thumping preacher can get the local city to ban that devil juice. Because the State is the agency issuing licenses, no cities or counties can deny a liquor license to a restaurant just because some local pious leader has a tizzy about it. So take that! :p
 
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#75
#75
ViAggie said:
Most of those are probably true, came from a website my son likes to read about stupid laws in EVERY State, Utah is no exception I'm sure. The 3.2% alcohol law you cited is absolutely false. First, it's 3.2% by WEIGHT - alcohol content, as you probably know, is measured by ABV - aka volume. 3.2% by weight = 4% (anyone drink lite beer? check the ABV it's 4%ish) by volume. AND that's only sold in grocery stores and gas stations (the 7-elev if you will). Bars and restaurants can serve ANY strength of beer and pretty much any liquor they want. You can buy full strength beer in Utah... at the damn liquor store. BUT because they are run by the State, they carry EVERYTHING so no having to shop around. AND there are no dry counties or Cities in Utah, unlike the south where some bible thumping preacher can get the local city to ban that devil juice. Because the State is the agency issuing licenses, no cities or counties can deny a liquor license to a restaurant just because some local pious leader has a tizzy about it. So take that! :p
Click to expand...

Next time I see one of those nerds on a bike, I'm gonna jam a stick in his spokes just for you. <- not talking about his bike either.
 
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