"Now, Butch Jones, there's a haircut you can set your watch to!"
Also, in an alternate universe a more just universe I'm pretty sure Butch Jones teaches physical education to junior high students. Always wears those swishy 1990s warm-up pants. Smells like Old Spice. Gets to the school's weight room to lift at 5 a.m. Chews gum constantly. Has 12 year olds run laps to start class while "Jock Jams" plays. Has students take written tests about archery. Gives up midway through the year and makes every class kickball. Or triangle kickball. Or baserunning relay kickball. Or Alaskan Kickball. Or Triple Kickball.