@WestTennesseeFox refuses to let this thread die a slow death

Things my father said to his sons include

You were a bad night on Steve Allen.

The best part of you ran down my leg.

Beat your ass…
 
I believe him.
I’m sorry that you’re father never said that to you. Clearly, it troubles you. Know that you’re irredeemable, no matter which of your father’s little swimmers made it and which did not.
 
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