Heh, nice!
Here's the version I tend to use for VolNation, never wrote it all down before, just kind of rolls through my head while reading threads:
It's About Me -- reacts to bad news as if the entire world is on a long-term vendetta to screw up his day. A key player gets injured, and his response is some version of, "everything bad happens to me!"
Eeyore -- the glass is always half empty. Always. Except when someone stole the damn glass.
Troll -- his mantra: I'm a Vols fan, we suck, fahr errbody, give up, Bama's better, Florida's better, Georgia's better, Vandy's better, but I'm a Vols fan, honest. I just hate us. Honest.
Tin Foil Hat -- the Governor, University President, Chancellor, Board of Trustees, Booster Club, Athletic Director and Head Coach are in a secret society hell bent on making Tennessee mediocre. Forever.
Go Vols!