We got to put a stop to the bullying!

#76
#76
We were on the way to dinner one time, and passed three or four kids about 12 years old picking on another kid. One kid had the other on the ground. My son in the back seat, who was about 14, said "Mom, go back!" We turned around, and my husband got out of the car. He said, "Ok, you've got him on the ground. Go home." I wouldn't have known what to say to the kids honestly.

Fast forward to this year, when my 16 year old is telling me about a fight at school. Seven students were arrested. They suspect gang ties in the altercation and have made changes at the high school since. Love that pricipal. Anyway, my son is telling me about the fight and says, "The worst part was the fight moved towards the tables where the special ed kids eat. They were really scared. We got between them til the teachers and resources officer got stuff under control."

I have never been more proud of my son. Recognizing who needs protection and help, and acting on it. He is compassionate to a fault, but more than capable of standing up for himself and others. I can't take any credit for "teaching" him that. But I wish I could. And I wish more kids were like him.
 
#77
#77
iVol4Life said:
Don't even dare blame the teachers. They aren't ALLOWED to discipline kids like they used to. Its disgusting, and 9/10 teachers will tell you the same thing.
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k i understand that i should have said system.I have an aunt that taught like 20 years at east ridge...thanks or correcting me
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#78
#78
Tennbleedsorange said:
I agree with alot of what your saying.I dont know that it wont help just one person.I have give up on our government all together. If somebody reads this and goes and speaks to his or her son about bullying and or getting bullied it may just change one life.He goes to school the next day and his friends pick on someone and he tells the to stop and that its not cool. One person at a time and it will be worth the little time i have been on here
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Some of you sound like the"good ole boys"! I agree bullying has been around forever and it's not going anywhere because damn it makes us feel good to call people names or demean them and I feel like a very powerful person if I push a girl up against the locker or make fun of her in class or write things about her even if they aren't true. That's what it's all about me feeling good and powerful. Really? really? Sounds to me like the bully didn't fall far from the tree if you know what I mean. Where do you think kids learn these attitudes and think that this king of behavior is acceptable? HOME of course. Let's face it Bullying is accepted in the "real man's" world and most of these statements on this message board prove it. Just stand up for yourself! Fight it out and they will leave you alone! What we did years ago doesn't work today and yes girls are different from boys with the bullying but NO child should be afraid to go to school or build a wall around themselves that says "I don't care it doesn't bother me" because deep down it does. When it gets to be too much to bear then they think the thing to do is die because they see it every day on TV and at the movies. Something about it being forever just doesn't click. My granddaughter has experienced bullying because she stopped playing sports and went in another direction. She has had a hard time but with a good solid support group she is good. STOP BULLYING period. ALL of it!
 
#79
#79
Thanks and it does start at home.If I was called to the school and one of my children were bullying,he or she is going to have a bad week.In all honesty I think everyone has dealt with it at one point in time. I had a situation a few years back with my little girl. A 5th grade boy was picking on her and calling her a b**** on the bus.What is a 7 year old 50 0r 60 pound girl is going to say or do about it but tell her daddy.I was lucky in the fact that her principle was my 6th grade teacher and basketball coach for 3 years.The bus driver blew me off but one phone call to the principle and it stopped.I dont know about anybody on here but when my baby girl cries,I cry too.I do make sure that I talk to my kids and try to make sure that they let me know when things happen in case they can not handle the problem.I really believe people dont see how serious it is till it hits home.
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#80
#80
A story on it all will be on fox 17 news at 9 and 10 in middle tennessee.Its really sad that this kid felt he had to do this.I pray that none of your children ever have to experience the pain that this child did or his family is..Please believe me when I say that I think its ok to be a homosexual or commit suicide,that would be farvfrom the truth.These are chiildren we are talking about.Not the hardened hearts of adults.Something has to be done starting at home. I wish I could start a program myself for kids that feel like they are alone.Just to let them know that some people really do care what happens to them. I dont know but there could have been a lack of love and family at home in this case.God bless you all!
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#81
#81
Grizz had a good post.

I was bullied a fair bit at 12 and 13 years old. I was short and fat. I knew how to fight and did, I remember one occasion a class mate knocking me down and taking my backpack. I chased him down and literally knocked him out. It was a shot to the side of the head, then I tripped him and kicked him in the head once.

It didn't make my life any easier, everybody after that thought I was super aggro. Both of us got suspended, then a couple weeks later he and a few friends ganged up on me. Things didn't get better until I hit a fairly late growth spurt and was slightly taller than average than everyone in middle school, and still had my weight.

It's not always as simple as standing up for yourself, sometimes the odds are just against you and there's nothing you can do about it. It happens quite frequently with kids who come to the realization they are gay at a young age, and getting parents and school staff involved can sometimes be the only way to stop it.
 
#82
#82
EvanStalcup1990 said:
How many guys knew they liked girls/boys at age 14? Horrible story though =(
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I'd say the vast majority way earlier than that. I remember liking girls in Kindergarten.

Calling a kid who doesn't fight back a coward makes you sound red as hell. Have another ice beer.

Your son sounds like a nice young dude vollygirl.
 
#83
#83
I have seen my brother seriously destroy a few guys picking on some helpless guys.

Smashed one guys face into a brick wall.
 
#84
#84
Glad you brought that up milo.I went to high school inNorth Georgia.I loved basketball and had many black friends.A Guy kept making racial remarks and calling me names till I beat his butt at school.My parents raised me to not take crap off anybody.I got 10 days oss.While suspended a car load of mullet wearing hillbilies with rebel flag shirts on jump me.So I go back to school and bust him in his mouth.I end up in front of the school board begging for alternative school.I get told that I am not a consistant problem but they suspend me for the last 2 and a half months of my freshman year? It is time people take responsibility for how they raise their kids.I know some do stray away.My situation would not have happened if he was not taught to be a rascist dumb a**.
Posted via VolNation MobileFighting back cost me a half of year of high school. I was the one that ended up losing in the end.
 
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#85
#85
Tennbleedsorange said:
Nice point,so if your kid does talk back and ends up losing a couple teeth that you have to pay for among other medical.It ends up causing more pain cause he got beat up in front of everyone on top of the physical.What got better by standing up for themselves? Laws will have to be passed in order to show it wont be tolerated. Teachers are usually guilty as the kids for watching it happen and not punishing when it does.I know its a really tough matter and really no answers. When it happens a mile down the road from you it strikes a nerve. It did with me anyway
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What a crock of sh**
 
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#86
#86
Tennbleedsorange said:
Move if needed,but this needs to be seen by many eyes as possible.I live in Smith County....and yesterday a 14 year boy named Phillip Parker took his own life.He was being bullied because he was gay and all he wanted was to be accepted.We all know kids can be very mean,but we have got to get the word out to put a stop to it.We need to watch these kids for signs of be bullied,while teaching the ones bullying that it will no longer be tolerated.I did not know the kid myself,but it saddens me that he was hurting so bad that he felt like he had to end his life.Please pray for the parker family and every kid across this country that are hurting right now due to insensitve kids and even adults...we as adults have to teach our kids that just because we dont agree with something due to our faith or whatever reason not to treat others like they are worthless.I know I am rambling but this has struck a nerve with me.I have 3 kids the oldest being a 13 year old boy.He went to a different school than the kid and i have had to get on to him for using words like f****t. I just cant imagine the pain this kid was in nor his family is now.I will be honest but not debating religion here but I dont agree with homosexuality.Telling somebody something is wrong out of love(faith)and calli7ng somebody something insensitve are not even close to being the same.I really hope that my children are not acting in a manner thats hurtful.I have thought about if him and my son did go to the same school, would my son been one that was mean to him? I dont think so but kids change when they get a bunch of other kids.It starts at home with our kids. Help stop it! Sorry for rambling on(or any mistakes in my writing grammer police) thanks for reading and please pray for the parkers,the kids that found out and could not sleep caus eall they could think of is being mean to him and now he is dead.God bless you and all your families.Go vols!Monday wear purple in the memory of Mr.Parker.
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Not to be insensitive but to kill yourself over being bullied is pretty weak. Everyone that has ever lived has been bullied at some point. If you let that drive you to the point of deciding to kill yourself I don't think there was any hope for him.
 
#87
#87
"Killen yersalf ohvur gittin bullyd iz weeck, yunz. Staynd uhp 2 um aynd theus ud nevur hayampund. Tha hoe skuell verrsiss woahun kayud seahmz faur ta mae."
 
#88
#88
Burhead said:
Not to be insensitive but to kill yourself over being bullied is pretty weak. Everyone that has ever lived has been bullied at some point. If you let that drive you to the point of deciding to kill yourself I don't think there was any hope for him.
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I agree but I have not walked in his shoes.People handle things in different ways.I dont think this kid had anybody at home to talk to and was even abused.We have to remember that we are talking about kids.Not a shot at you, I am amazed that some people are trying to make a big joke of this all.If it was their child it would not be funny. I love my children and would trade my life for them to be able to live without pain. People who do not have children have never began to LOVE. Thanks to the ones who are mature enough to come on here and try to discuss this like adults.
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#89
#89
Tennbleedsorange said:
I agree but I have not walked in his shoes.People handle things in different ways.I dont think this kid had anybody at home to talk to and was even abused.We have to remember that we are talking about kids.Not a shot at you, I am amazed that some people are trying to make a big joke of this all.If it was their child it would not be funny. I love my children and would trade my life for them to be able to live without pain. People who do not have children have never began to LOVE. Thanks to the ones who are mature enough to come on here and try to discuss this like adults.
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There's obviously something more going on in one's brain if this occurs. Not just bullying.
 
#90
#90
I guess this is as much about teen suicide and mental health.Not to be insensitive but if an adult does commit suicide I have no pity.I dont wont people killing theirselves.but I think its a easy way out.I am not for drugging our children either. I would almost bet that 15 years ago that not 10 percent of the number of kids being drugged today for issues as add,adhd.depression,or any mental issue.I have seen the drugs make kids worse than when we started
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#91
#91
You never know what pain and suffering another person goes through. There is no way to get in their skin to feel the physical or emotional pain. On a side note, no one could have a clue what they would do under those circumstances. No one. Until it is your time in the barrel. There is no way to tell how much anyone has fought or what they have fought. Anyone thinking otherwise is delusional.
 
#93
#93
Coach Grizz said:
Very very very sad. Everyone please pray for his parents, my grandmother told me that there is nothing harder than burying your own child. I hate that this young man ended his own life because of a few @$$holes. I agree at some point in time you've got to stand up and fight for yourself. But some kids are so tender hearted they won't fight and don't know how to fight. The parents of the kid getting bullied need to keep a closer eye on their get involved. I was bullied too, my parents to this day don't know I was bullied because I kept it inside and that's not a good place to keep it. I didnt think about suicide because I didn't know anything about that. But I felt it was no end to that crap. But eventually everyone GREW UP and as I got older I brush it off my shoulders.
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Nice post.
 
#94
#94
For a lot of kids, standing up for yourself is easier said than done. I thought the last sentence of that article was pretty poignant:

"A bully might say something and forget about it in 10 seconds," he said. "But people like Jeff never forget those words."
 
#95
#95
golfballs03 said:
For a lot of kids, standing up for yourself is easier said than done. I thought the last sentence of that article was pretty poignant:

"A bully might say something and forget about it in 10 seconds," he said. "But people like Jeff never forget those words."
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also shows homosexual slurs shouldn't be flippantly used in every day talk. Things like "that's gay", "you're a ...", etc actually do mean something when it always has a negative value attached

some fight back and some internalize (I've done both) but neither of those solutions really help.
 
#96
#96
volfan51128 said:
Heres something to add to this. some people will probably say, "oh he was gay and couldn't have stood up for himself." Others will say he is more like a girl, etc. I'll tell you this, when I was younger aroud the age of 12-13, I was picking on this girl on the bus one day and did this for about a week. i was just joking with her and didn't know she was taking things the wrong way...One day she hauled off and slapped the **** out of me and kicked me in the balls. needless to say, I never picked on her again!
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So... How long y'all been married now??!?
 
#97
#97
Tennbleedsorange said:
I have taught my kids to stand up for themselves, but say you have a kid that has it all going for him and somebody comes to fight(at school)Because your kid talked back. The bully hits your kid and he fights back and breaks the bullys nose a month before he is to graduate. Due to the injury he caused is charged with aggravated assault,he now has a criminal record due to us not trying to stop the bullying. Fighting is no longer just a suspension like it was when i was growing up?
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self defense, IMO
 
#98
#98
The parents of bullies are to be blamed just as much as the bullies themselves. Teach your kids acceptance.
 
#99
#99
VOLatile said:
The parents of bullies are to be blamed just as much as the bullies themselves. Teach your kids acceptance.
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I agree with this,but some kids do stray away from what they are taught.The world would be a better place if people would take the time to raise kids the right way.Instead of putting them in front of the tv or a video game.
Posted via VolNation MobileJust a quick update.The mother has filed suit against the school because some teachers knew and have even made fun of the boy.I do have a problem wit this. I dont know all the facts but it sounds to me like she is trying to get rich off her sons death.Unless she just found this info out from the boys friends.If she did know, what kind of parent lets it go on.I would have already been to the school and took care of this.I honestly hope this woman was aware of this before his death. I would not be able to live with myself knowing I might have been able to prevent my childs death.
 
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#100
#100
rocky top 1 said:
Some of you sound like the"good ole boys"! I agree bullying has been around forever and it's not going anywhere because damn it makes us feel good to call people names or demean them and I feel like a very powerful person if I push a girl up against the locker or make fun of her in class or write things about her even if they aren't true. That's what it's all about me feeling good and powerful. Really? really? Sounds to me like the bully
didn't fall far from the tree if you know what
I mean. Where do you think kids learn these
attitudes and think that this king of behavior
is acceptable? HOME of course. Let's face
it Bullying is accepted in the "real man's"
world and most of these statements on this
message board prove it. Just stand up for
yourself! Fight it out and they will leave you
alone! What we did years ago doesn't work
today and yes girls are different from boys
with the bullying but NO child should be
afraid to go to school or build a wall around
themselves that says "I don't care it doesn't
bother me" because deep down it does.
When it gets to be too much to bear then
they think the thing to do is die because they
see it every day on TV and at the movies.
Something about it being forever just doesn't
click. My granddaughter has experienced
bullying because she stopped playing sports
and went in another direction. She has had
a hard time but with a good solid support
group she is good. STOP BULLYING
period. ALL of it!
Click to expand...

Good post.
 
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