We got to put a stop to the bullying!

#27
#27
vollygirl said:
It's not quite that simple.
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While I can't say it works for absolutely every situation, I can promise you I have seen it work many many times.. in my life and now in my sons.

Now girls it probably is very different and I can't comment on something I know nothing about.

But with guys I can promise you that if the bully knows that if every time he tries to pick on you it is going to equal a fight. He is going to get tired and move along to someone else.
 
#28
#28
Tennbleedsorange said:
The sad part is the signs werre there that he was about to do it.On his fb page he used words like save me and lonely.I dont see how nobody saw it coming.
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Every other angsty 12-14 year old on the planet spews that crap nowadays. Most of them are just attention whores and I doubt anyone took him seriously. It's sad, yes, but the truth.
 
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#30
#30
I agree with this...My son kicked a bully's ass last year and got in a lot of trouble from the school. I had to go to the school and talk to them about it. They wanted to talk crap about my son, who has never been in trouble for fighting or anything else for that matter. Hell, he's an A-B student.

I asked the principal what he would do if I came across that desk and started punching him. He said he would try to defend himself. I told him exactly, that is exactly what my son did...DEFEND HIMSELF. He was going to suspend my son for 3 days...needless to say, he only got in school suspension for it and is still a good student. My son was picked on before the incident, now no one messes with him.
 
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#32
#32
volfan51128 said:
I agree with this...My son kicked a bully's ass last year and got in a lot of trouble from the school. I had to go to the school and talk to them about it. They wanted to talk crap about my son, who has never been in trouble for fighting or anything else for that matter. Hell, he's an A-B student.

I asked the principal what he would do if I came across that desk and started punching him. He said he would try to defend himself. I told him exactly, that is exactly what my son did...DEFEND HIMSELF. He was going to suspend my son for 3 days...needless to say, he only got in school suspension for it and is still a good student. My son was picked on before the incident, now no one messes with him.
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The way schools handle bullying is absolutely retarded.
 
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#33
#33
volfan51128 said:
being bullied sucks however, its not the main cause for this kid to kill himself. Gay or not, he could have went to the school's administration and told...Why didn't the parents step in? Who knows?

This kid obviously had other issues going on, either that or he was very weak minded and just wanted an easy way out.

Killing yourself over being bullied in my opinion is B.S. there had to have been other things going on...Just my
.02 cents.
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bonner nows football and he is coming :crazy:
 
#35
#35
I agree that other things might have been going on.I have been through alot in my life and cant imagine what makes anyone feel this way.
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#36
#36
ImportedVoL said:
While I can't say it works for absolutely every situation, I can promise you I have seen it work many many times.. in my life and now in my sons.

Now girls it probably is very different and I can't comment on something I know nothing about.

But with guys I can promise you that if the bully knows that if every time he tries to pick on you it is going to equal a fight. He is going to get tired and move along to someone else.
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Oh, I don't disagree with that. And I am all for teaching your kids to stand up for themselves. My youngest son is the biggest defender of an underdog you will ever see. He stands up for himself and others. To my knowledge (key word) neither of my kids has ever dealt with any serious issues in regard to bullying.

My point was that there are so many issues surrounding this kind of thing, it's impossible to know that "boy, stand up for yourself" is what would have helped. That's all.
 
#37
#37
volfan51128 said:
being bullied sucks however, its not the main cause for this kid to kill himself. Gay or not, he could have went to the school's administration and told...Why didn't the parents step in? Who knows?

This kid obviously had other issues going on, either that or he was very weak minded and just wanted an easy way out.

Killing yourself over being bullied in my opinion is B.S. there had to have been other things going on...Just my
.02 cents.
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:yes: good post



Sad story
 
#38
#38
Tennbleedsorange said:
I have taught my kids to stand up for themselves, but say you have a kid that has it all going for him and somebody comes to fight(at school)Because your kid talked back. The bully hits your kid and he fights back and breaks the bullys nose a month before he is to graduate. Due to the injury he caused is charged with aggravated assault,he now has a criminal record due to us not trying to stop the bullying. Fighting is no longer just a suspension like it was when i was growing up?
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You can't catch charge for defending yourself... This is still america. even though some people are trying to turn the world into a bunch of sheep, so they are easy to control.
 
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#39
#39
iVol4Life said:
I'm growing up with the internet :dance:
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Just caught 13 by looking through the history on his cell phone.I think he is too young to have a phone but his mother insist due to him playing sports and staying at his friends? So he can call us anytime?
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#40
#40
Tennbleedsorange said:
Just caught 13 by looking through the history on his cell phone.I think he is too young to have a phone but his mother insist due to him playing sports and staying at his friends? So he can call us anytime?
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I think 13 is a fair age. It really varies on the maturity of the kid, IMO. If he's generally out of trouble and does fairly well in school, than a cell phone should be fine.
 
#41
#41
Parents, read your kids Facebook and stay involved in their lives. Yes they need space but they also need guidance and mentorship as they negotiate some tough times growing up. Even when our kids become teen agers or young adults, they don't have all the answers and it is our responsibility to know what they are struggling with and offer them help before it is too late. None of us want our kids to face a situation where they feel there is no way out. The best way to prevent that is to be there for them, keep communicating and be ready to step in when required.
 
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#42
#42
ImportedVoL said:
You can't catch charge for defending yourself... This is still america. even though some people are trying to turn the world into a bunch of sheep, so they are easy to control.
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oh yes you can,my brother in law did on his own front porch.At school it dont matter who starts it.America or not!
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#43
#43
YorkVol said:
Parents, read your kids Facebook and stay involved in their lives. Yes they need space but they also need guidance and mentorship as they negotiate some tough times growing up. Even when our kids become teen agers or young adults, they don't have all the answers and it is our responsibility to know what they are struggling with and offer them help before it is too late. None of us want our kids to face a situation where they feel there is no way out. The best way to prevent that is to be there for them, keep communicating and be ready to step in when required.
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#44
#44
chatt-townVOL said:
Yes. It is.
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Maybe its time we begin to teach kids how to stand up for their selves. If an adult/kid sees someone else being bullied - that is the time to stand beside the person being bullied and stop the bullying. Of coarse this requires courage too. This should become the new standard in our society.
 
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#45
#45
YorkVol said:
Parents, read your kids Facebook and stay involved in their lives. Yes they need space but they also need guidance and mentorship as they negotiate some tough times growing up. Even when our kids become teen agers or young adults, they don't have all the answers and it is our responsibility to know what they are struggling with and offer them help before it is too late. None of us want our kids to face a situation where they feel there is no way out. The best way to prevent that is to be there for them, keep communicating and be ready to step in when required.
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Be friends with them on facebook. Just don't stalk them. I personally don't befriend family on Facebook because I can talk to them whenever I want. I really wouldn't mind too much if they went through it either. I don't have much to hide.
 
#46
#46
My son has had a phone for 2-3 years now. He is very responsible and I trust him. I like it because its easy to keep tabs on him and see what he's doing. Its also nice to have that piece of mind knowing that I can check up on him regardless of where he is.

He is 14 now and we have never had an issue with him on his cell. like someone else mentioned its a maturity thing.
 
#48
#48
YorkVol said:
Parents, read your kids Facebook and stay involved in their lives. Yes they need space but they also need guidance and mentorship as they negotiate some tough times growing up. Even when our kids become teen agers or young adults, they don't have all the answers and it is our responsibility to know what they are struggling with and offer them help before it is too late. None of us want our kids to face a situation where they feel there is no way out. The best way to prevent that is to be there for them, keep communicating and be ready to step in when required.
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My teen does just ask him :)
 
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#49
#49
While it's always sad to hear stories such as this, wearing a color for someone or declaring that we should all put a stop to bullying (either on a message board or Twitter/Facebook) will do nothing. Bullying has been around since the dawn of time (Cain and Abel ring any bells?) and will be around until the day of judgement.

Does that mean that I condone bullying? NO, very much the opposite. We have all been bullied in some way, shape, or form in our lifetimes; and quite frankly, it sucks. However, as many have mentioned already, it's all in how you deal with it. If you stand up to the bully, they are much less likely to continue harassing you.

I understand that many gay youths feel they are unable to do this, as many times it is a gay male, and many young gay males are much more effeminate than their bullies. Nobody wants to pick a fight that you are bound to lose (and get physically beat up in the process), but killing yourself because someone called you a f****t or pushed you around is not a very good response. And CERTAINLY not a response that should be dignified with wearing a certain color or marching in a gay pride parade (why do gays get a pride parade but if straights did it's insensitive?) or whatever else is or will be suggested to memorialize whomever kills themselves from bullying.

At some point, we all must learn that life isn't fair, life is hard, and not everybody will like you. Too many people expect political correctness and acceptance from all. The world isn't politically correct. Not everybody will accept you or your choices. Grow a pair and swallow your pride. If you choose to be different from the masses, expect to be looked at differently by many and treated differently by some. Is this how it should be? No, but that's the way it is.

Please do not take this post as me being homophobic. I am straight, I do not understand or agree with the homosexual lifestyle, but I can recall being in a group of athletes that stood up for a kid who was being harassed in high school simply for being effeminate (who later came out as flamboyantly gay). I didn't particularly like the kid, but there is no reason for him to be picked on simply because he was different (if only the extremist groups would understand/realize this).

I do feel for the parents and family of the kid, and we should all say a prayer for them, but until parents and other leaders instill the ideals of standing up for oneself and not being too proud to reach out for help/guidance, these stories will continue to be more and more common.
 
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#50
#50
volfan51128 said:
My son has had a phone for 2-3 years now. He is very responsible and I trust him. I like it because its easy to keep tabs on him and see what he's doing. Its also nice to have that piece of mind knowing that I can check up on him regardless of where he is.

He is 14 now and we have never had an issue with him on his cell. like someone else mentioned its a maturity thing.
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The only issue I've had with my cell phone is forgetting that I originally couldn't text. Would've cost nearly 500 bucks had my dad not fixed it.
 
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