Washing Your Hands

[Thrasher865]

Washing your hands can be a confusing and mentally exhausting exercise. The CDC has prepared a hand washing guide to assist those with difficulty completing this task.

The CDC recommends humming the "happy birthday" song twice while washing your hands. The following is a list of the activities that should be followed with washing your hands, including how many happy birthdays should be hummed while washing.


After touching your keyboard (2 happy birthdays)
After handling rodents (2 happy birthdays)
After handling your own excrement (3 happy birthdays)
After handling someone else's excrement (3.5 happy birthdays)
After playing with children (5 happy birthdays)
After killing a zombie with a firearm (2.5 happy birthdays)
After killing a zombie with a blunt object (7 happy birthdays)
After killing a zombie with your bare hands (15.75 happy birthdays)
After petting your pet dog (8 happy birthdays)
After petting your pet cat (1 happy birthday)
After brushing your dog's teeth (4 happy birthdays)
After washing your hands (3 happy birthdays)
After singing happy birthday (8 happy birthdays)


The CDC would like your help in compiling this important list.

For more information, please visit CDC - Handwashing: Clean Hands Save Lives

 

[Berry4Heisman14]

You're a lifesaver.

 

[OrangeEmpire]

Hey........thanks

 

[YankeeVol]

Overrated

 

[Nerd-Vol]

Handwashing is a myth!

 

[Hobock]

<------compulsive handwasher.

 

[possumslayer]

Wash twice after fapping
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[Nerd-Vol]

Wash twice after fapping
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Wrong order, fap twice after washing.

 

[Pepe_Silvia]

I havent washed my hands since the Clinton administration.

 

[Nerd-Vol]

I havent washed my hands since the Clinton administration.

When did his administration end?

 

[possumslayer]

When did his administration end?

Funk
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[The Ron Mexico]

Hand washing is for queers.

 

[Thrasher865]

You guys are all gonna get the haids.

 

[The Ron Mexico]

Hand washing is for queers.

You guys are all gonna get the haids.

No, only queers get the haids. And only queers wash their hands. My powers of deduction are uncanny.

 

[Thrasher865]

Gay people get the haids from buttsex. Other people get the haids from touching gay peeps and not washing their hands for at least 4 happy birthdays.

 

[The Ron Mexico]

Gay people get the haids from buttsex. Other people get the haids from touching gay peeps and not washing their hands for at least 4 happy birthdays.

Link? And before you do it, you can't link back to this post.

 

[ImTheCrew]

**** you

 

[possumslayer]

Most informative thread in the zone.
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[Thrasher865]

Most informative thread in the zone.
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I thought so. Most zoners just cannot appreciate good hygiene and PSAs concerning public safety.

 

[possumslayer]

I thought so. Most zoners just cannot appreciate good hygiene and PSAs concerning public safety.

life saving ideas in here...
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[The Ron Mexico]

I thought so. Most zoners just cannot appreciate good hygiene and PSAs concerning public safety.

In general, we are a filthy people.

 

[PoochPunt3rdDown]

I wash my hands with Lava Soap and Bruce Pearl's press conference tears...

 

[Nerd-Vol]

I wash my hands with Lava Soap and Bruce Pearl's press conference tears...

I thought you masturbated with that?

 

[wildnkrazykat]

when i get home from school at lunch and at the end of the day the only way i feel like my hands are clean is to literally "scrub out" from the elbows down with dawn with bleach. i tried using dawn and other antibacterial soaps and still felt nasty. rotten lil kids

 

[The Ron Mexico]

I wash my hands with Lava Soap and Bruce Pearl's press conference tears...

His tears are kosher. They were blessed by a local Rabbi. So you should avoid hell.