AlabamaVolunteer
Bama Hater
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2004
- Messages
- 530
- Likes
- 1
What is Alabama football?
It is getting serenaded with "Rocky Top" by the Minnesota band after losing a 3rd-tier bowl game.
It is worshipping an old dead drunk.
It is losing cases in courtrooms from Memphis to Tuscaloosa and still thinking you were innocent.
It is losing 3 in a row and 4 of 5 to your arch-rival and still maintaining an air of superiority.
It's being too stupid to realize your total irrelevance.
It is rolling baby, it's rolling.
It is sinking so low that you brag about being up at half-time against your archrival, and then calling your archrival a red-headed step-sister.
It is never beating your archrival in your home stadium, named after the dead drunk, and claiming your archrival has an inferiority complex.
It is claiming 12 national titles when no one else with half a brain recognizes you with more than 6.
It is making fun of your archrivals "half a national championship," when most of the ones you claim were shared.
It is claiming a national championship after losing to Mississippi State and Vandy.
It is claiming national championships retroactively.
It is claiming national championships after losing your bowl game.
It is all about the Benjamins.
It is 5 coaches in 5 years.
It is 2 probations for cheating in less than 10 years.
It is a worse record and winning percentage than AU in the last 20 years.
It is going to Hawaii to get beat and calling it a "Bowl" game.
It is moral victory after moral victory.
It is knowing that your biggest tradition is buying and bidding on players.
It is being mediocre for over 20 years.
It is being a national laughingstock and not even realizing it.
It is delusion, delusion, delusion..
It is counting your 1/2 MNC's as a whole.
It is accepting and claiming MNC's from any and everybody that will offer one but laughing at others that might.
It is knowing you are the best team even when you lose.
It is knowing that the refs are against you.
It is knowing that the NCAA is against you.
It is knowing that UT owns you.
It is Mike Price.
It is getting turned down by USF's coach.
It is thinking THIS is the year we beat Auburn.
It is trying to make yourself believe that youre superior to Auburn.
It is watching you go through 4 coaches in 2 years.
It is having head coaches leave for places like Duke, Kentucky, UTEP, Texas A&M, Millsaps College, and Luverne High School.
It is having your 5th choice for HC turn you down.
It is having the Football Stadium at Duke named after a coach who used Alabama as a stepping stone.
It is asking if "Got Twelve?" refers to the number of players in your history that weren't bought and paid for.
It is watching Tommy Tuberville AND Phil Fulmer having as many SEC wins at BDS as your own Head Coach.
It is dreaming of a day when you could beat Tennessee 3 times in 15 months.
It is remembering when losing by any margin at home to your arch rival didn't make them fall in the polls.
It is hoping that Northern Illinois doesn't show up again to ruin Homecoming.
It is reminiscing of Shula's Greatest Game - a win over Southern Miss.
It is offering Ole Miss walk-ons Football Scholarships.
It is sharing a home field with the Blazers.
It is fans proudly displaying toilet paper rolls and empty detergent boxes when the whole world can see that you don't know how to use either.
It is a Million Dollar Band and a Two Million Dollar Defensive Line.
It is decades of ignorantly mocking your arch rival for being named the Tigers and yelling "War Eagle" when you're called the Crimson Tide and have an Elephant walk the sidelines.
It is having your head football coach make less than the head basketball coach.
It is giving your head coach a contract extension after going 4-9 and 6-6.
It is giving your head coach a contract where he can earn a bonus for winning 7 games - and the bonus remaining unpaid.
It is throwing bricks through your coach's window after a 10 win season.
It is knowing that Notre Dame takes pride in saying "well, at least we're not as bad as Alabama".
It is running off the last coach that won you a National Championship.
It is recognizing that the closest your Head Coach and Quarterback will be to a ring is when they shake their father's hand.
It is threatening to leave the SEC and having no one notice.
It is pulling for Memphis because they're actually winning and they have your 150k D-lineman.
It is proclaiming your QB to be the best thing since sliced bread after he shreds Utah State, Mississippi, and Western Carolina before he gets hurt....again.
It is losing to South Carolina at home.
It is having a head coach realize that the ugliest stripper in Pensacola was prettier than the Alabama coaching job.
It is running off your backup QB by playing him with a concussion.
It is having a losing record since January 1st 2000.
It is having a football field that is as wilted as the football team.
It is tarnishing the legend of your greatest coach by playing an incoherent drunken sound-clip at the beginning of each football game.
It is knowing what used to be and then realizing what is.
It is being the fourth best football team in your state.
It is refusing to play those teams unless mandated by the state government.
It is scoring 20 whole points in 3 centuries against your arch-rival on campus.
It is forfeiting games for playing an ineligible player for an entire season.
It is getting caught cheating while still on probation.
It is having the AD with the most experience hiring head coaches in the nation, yet worst track record.
It is trying to convince your 15 year old son that Bama is a powerhouse because he can't remember those days.
It is being the state champion....of Mississippi....only because Auburn didn't play Southern Miss.
It is picking Vandy as your second SEC East rival.
It is having Vandy or Kentucky on your schedule for 50 consecutive years, until 2005's SEC rotation finally kicks them both off.
It is running up the score....against Western Carolina....and limping off the field.
It is joining Arkansas, Mississippi, and Vanderbilt as the only SEC victims of the Golden Gophers.
It is declaring that your D is "back" despite watching it give up 20 or more points to Arkansas, South Carolina, LSU, Auburn, and Minnesota - all in losing efforts.
It is scheduling a 2 game road series with Hawaii for the money.
It is watching a man with the 50 yard stare...and then realizing that he's your coach.
It is having Brittany Spears marriages outlast coach's tenures.
It is watching Troy play better than you against mutual opponents Utah State, South Carolina, and LSU.
It is breathing a sigh of relief, because Troy lost to Northern Illinois too!
It is bragging that as an OC, Shula's NFL O was ranked #29, and then realizing that the NFL only has 32 teams.
It is hiring Ray Perkins' defensive coordinator 11 years after his career peaked as HC of Arkansas...for one year.
It is prominent Bama Booster William Bradford Huie emploring the youth of Alabama to take up badminton instead of play for the corrupt University of Alabama.
It is having an ad banner up on your official website, and seeing Kia advertising to your fans.
It is preselling season DVDs because no one will want to buy them after the season.
It is making Kia the official Import Car of the Alabama Crimson Tide.
It is paying more to settle sexual harassment lawsuits against your coaches than you paid to build your chimes named after an all-night diner.
It is having a flea market outside your stadium on game day and calling it "atmosphere".
It is being 0-1 against Northern Illinois.
It is knowing that your coach scored more on his secretary than he did against Auburn in your home stadium.
It is calling your arch-rival's head coach Wingnut when you're the one getting screwed.
It is having your head coach photographed in a Darth Vader T-shirt...on a cruise for Alabama boosters.
It is watching a fat man in a Hawaiian shirt shred your defense for the third time in 5 years.
It is systematically running off the last 5 coaches that won 10 games in a season and wondering why the inept son of a coaching legend was the only man who would take the job.
It is the memory of your greatest coach losing his last Iron Bowl.
It is that horrid pregame shrill that surely must be a recording of the Bear rolling over in his grave.
It is having a local Mercedes plant but advertising that Kia is the official import car of your football team.
It is having a losing record to Phil Fulmer.
It is hiring your head coach away from being a Maitre D' at a steak-house.
It is paying 900k a year to go 10-15.
It's having a 2-3 record versus Louisiana Tech.
It is having the most coaching changes in the SEC over the last 15 years.
It is being turned in by the Dough Boy, then blaming him because you were cheating.
It is coming to the gross realization that you may never be a great team again because the NCAA has finally figured you out.
It is having the "Elvis Syndrome" and acting as if some one who has been dead for over 20 years...IS STILL ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!
This is Alabama Football
It is getting serenaded with "Rocky Top" by the Minnesota band after losing a 3rd-tier bowl game.
It is worshipping an old dead drunk.
It is losing cases in courtrooms from Memphis to Tuscaloosa and still thinking you were innocent.
It is losing 3 in a row and 4 of 5 to your arch-rival and still maintaining an air of superiority.
It's being too stupid to realize your total irrelevance.
It is rolling baby, it's rolling.
It is sinking so low that you brag about being up at half-time against your archrival, and then calling your archrival a red-headed step-sister.
It is never beating your archrival in your home stadium, named after the dead drunk, and claiming your archrival has an inferiority complex.
It is claiming 12 national titles when no one else with half a brain recognizes you with more than 6.
It is making fun of your archrivals "half a national championship," when most of the ones you claim were shared.
It is claiming a national championship after losing to Mississippi State and Vandy.
It is claiming national championships retroactively.
It is claiming national championships after losing your bowl game.
It is all about the Benjamins.
It is 5 coaches in 5 years.
It is 2 probations for cheating in less than 10 years.
It is a worse record and winning percentage than AU in the last 20 years.
It is going to Hawaii to get beat and calling it a "Bowl" game.
It is moral victory after moral victory.
It is knowing that your biggest tradition is buying and bidding on players.
It is being mediocre for over 20 years.
It is being a national laughingstock and not even realizing it.
It is delusion, delusion, delusion..
It is counting your 1/2 MNC's as a whole.
It is accepting and claiming MNC's from any and everybody that will offer one but laughing at others that might.
It is knowing you are the best team even when you lose.
It is knowing that the refs are against you.
It is knowing that the NCAA is against you.
It is knowing that UT owns you.
It is Mike Price.
It is getting turned down by USF's coach.
It is thinking THIS is the year we beat Auburn.
It is trying to make yourself believe that youre superior to Auburn.
It is watching you go through 4 coaches in 2 years.
It is having head coaches leave for places like Duke, Kentucky, UTEP, Texas A&M, Millsaps College, and Luverne High School.
It is having your 5th choice for HC turn you down.
It is having the Football Stadium at Duke named after a coach who used Alabama as a stepping stone.
It is asking if "Got Twelve?" refers to the number of players in your history that weren't bought and paid for.
It is watching Tommy Tuberville AND Phil Fulmer having as many SEC wins at BDS as your own Head Coach.
It is dreaming of a day when you could beat Tennessee 3 times in 15 months.
It is remembering when losing by any margin at home to your arch rival didn't make them fall in the polls.
It is hoping that Northern Illinois doesn't show up again to ruin Homecoming.
It is reminiscing of Shula's Greatest Game - a win over Southern Miss.
It is offering Ole Miss walk-ons Football Scholarships.
It is sharing a home field with the Blazers.
It is fans proudly displaying toilet paper rolls and empty detergent boxes when the whole world can see that you don't know how to use either.
It is a Million Dollar Band and a Two Million Dollar Defensive Line.
It is decades of ignorantly mocking your arch rival for being named the Tigers and yelling "War Eagle" when you're called the Crimson Tide and have an Elephant walk the sidelines.
It is having your head football coach make less than the head basketball coach.
It is giving your head coach a contract extension after going 4-9 and 6-6.
It is giving your head coach a contract where he can earn a bonus for winning 7 games - and the bonus remaining unpaid.
It is throwing bricks through your coach's window after a 10 win season.
It is knowing that Notre Dame takes pride in saying "well, at least we're not as bad as Alabama".
It is running off the last coach that won you a National Championship.
It is recognizing that the closest your Head Coach and Quarterback will be to a ring is when they shake their father's hand.
It is threatening to leave the SEC and having no one notice.
It is pulling for Memphis because they're actually winning and they have your 150k D-lineman.
It is proclaiming your QB to be the best thing since sliced bread after he shreds Utah State, Mississippi, and Western Carolina before he gets hurt....again.
It is losing to South Carolina at home.
It is having a head coach realize that the ugliest stripper in Pensacola was prettier than the Alabama coaching job.
It is running off your backup QB by playing him with a concussion.
It is having a losing record since January 1st 2000.
It is having a football field that is as wilted as the football team.
It is tarnishing the legend of your greatest coach by playing an incoherent drunken sound-clip at the beginning of each football game.
It is knowing what used to be and then realizing what is.
It is being the fourth best football team in your state.
It is refusing to play those teams unless mandated by the state government.
It is scoring 20 whole points in 3 centuries against your arch-rival on campus.
It is forfeiting games for playing an ineligible player for an entire season.
It is getting caught cheating while still on probation.
It is having the AD with the most experience hiring head coaches in the nation, yet worst track record.
It is trying to convince your 15 year old son that Bama is a powerhouse because he can't remember those days.
It is being the state champion....of Mississippi....only because Auburn didn't play Southern Miss.
It is picking Vandy as your second SEC East rival.
It is having Vandy or Kentucky on your schedule for 50 consecutive years, until 2005's SEC rotation finally kicks them both off.
It is running up the score....against Western Carolina....and limping off the field.
It is joining Arkansas, Mississippi, and Vanderbilt as the only SEC victims of the Golden Gophers.
It is declaring that your D is "back" despite watching it give up 20 or more points to Arkansas, South Carolina, LSU, Auburn, and Minnesota - all in losing efforts.
It is scheduling a 2 game road series with Hawaii for the money.
It is watching a man with the 50 yard stare...and then realizing that he's your coach.
It is having Brittany Spears marriages outlast coach's tenures.
It is watching Troy play better than you against mutual opponents Utah State, South Carolina, and LSU.
It is breathing a sigh of relief, because Troy lost to Northern Illinois too!
It is bragging that as an OC, Shula's NFL O was ranked #29, and then realizing that the NFL only has 32 teams.
It is hiring Ray Perkins' defensive coordinator 11 years after his career peaked as HC of Arkansas...for one year.
It is prominent Bama Booster William Bradford Huie emploring the youth of Alabama to take up badminton instead of play for the corrupt University of Alabama.
It is having an ad banner up on your official website, and seeing Kia advertising to your fans.
It is preselling season DVDs because no one will want to buy them after the season.
It is making Kia the official Import Car of the Alabama Crimson Tide.
It is paying more to settle sexual harassment lawsuits against your coaches than you paid to build your chimes named after an all-night diner.
It is having a flea market outside your stadium on game day and calling it "atmosphere".
It is being 0-1 against Northern Illinois.
It is knowing that your coach scored more on his secretary than he did against Auburn in your home stadium.
It is calling your arch-rival's head coach Wingnut when you're the one getting screwed.
It is having your head coach photographed in a Darth Vader T-shirt...on a cruise for Alabama boosters.
It is watching a fat man in a Hawaiian shirt shred your defense for the third time in 5 years.
It is systematically running off the last 5 coaches that won 10 games in a season and wondering why the inept son of a coaching legend was the only man who would take the job.
It is the memory of your greatest coach losing his last Iron Bowl.
It is that horrid pregame shrill that surely must be a recording of the Bear rolling over in his grave.
It is having a local Mercedes plant but advertising that Kia is the official import car of your football team.
It is having a losing record to Phil Fulmer.
It is hiring your head coach away from being a Maitre D' at a steak-house.
It is paying 900k a year to go 10-15.
It's having a 2-3 record versus Louisiana Tech.
It is having the most coaching changes in the SEC over the last 15 years.
It is being turned in by the Dough Boy, then blaming him because you were cheating.
It is coming to the gross realization that you may never be a great team again because the NCAA has finally figured you out.
It is having the "Elvis Syndrome" and acting as if some one who has been dead for over 20 years...IS STILL ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!
This is Alabama Football
lol:
