UT Football Theater, 2020-21 version

[SalVolinus]

Greetings everyone! The Theater is proud to present yet another season. We're sticking with Comic Tragedies, which yields a lot more clicks without losing any butts in the seats. Thanks so much for your continued support!

Literary roles our stars will reprise this season:

1. The Old Man and the Sea - Phil Fulmer. He sets out for a short row in 2017, really just to see if he can still fish, and now gets dragged around the Ocean of Despair for a fourth year.
2. Fezzik - Jim Chaney, obviously. This loyal, lovable giant goes to war weekly with only the most limited of weapons, yet remains smiling after yet another ass kicking. He comes to us from the much higher-rated Bulldog Theater, and is now paid handsomely to be underused and treated like dirt.
3. Kurtz - the versatile Jeremy Pruitt, who adds a modern spin to the whole Heart of Darkness withdrawal thing, while retaining the inimitable southern dialect that made us all forget about Joseph Konrad's original protagonist; a true virtuoso.
4. Animal Farm - The UT coaching staff. Some "are more equal", but they all bring each other down.
5. Boxer the Horse - Trey "I will just work harder" Smith.
6. A Comedy of Errors - The entire offense vs Kentucky. Mad props to JT Shrout for only getting one line, but NAILING it!
7. Shakespeare's shrew - many/most VN posters.
8. Lord of the Flies - the rest of VN.
9. Ulyesses - Alvin Kamara, who will be seen in live look-ins as he dominates the big screen in his heroic journey across the football landscape.

Finally, Nick Saban, our longest-running cast member, has returned to play Sauron for a record eleventieth year. Eric Gray will be back as Frodo and Jarret Gaurantano as Boromir, but we sadly no longer have a Gandalf or Aragorn due to the departures of Josh Dobbs and Juaun Jennings.

If my wife knew that message boards existed and somehow stumbled upon this she'd be convinced I started this thread. Both name and content. Also, major respect for naturally sneaking in eleventieth.

 

[Vfl2407]

Sounds like a lotta thespian action....

I knew one of them.
I think her partner was Lebanese.
Neither one of them knew dick.

 

[EZE]

I think Pruitt is a dead finger for this illustrious leader in many ways....

 

[loservol]

I didn't know that Fraiser is a Vols fan.

 

[Nasavol]

Sounds like a lotta thespian action....

Where is Holly?

 

[cobbwebb0710]

View attachment 334697

The creepiest movie ever!!
GBO!!

 

[JonGrudensAgent]

"You can either surf or you can fight "

 

[Checker_the_Shire]

I love Animal Farm, and to say Trey Smith is going to be killed off for a profit, that’s just evil! I love it though, props to all my Orwellian followers out there! I’ll also add, the UTAD doesn’t have the intelligence or charisma to pull off a coup like Napoleon or Squealer.

 

[SockeyeVol]

If my wife knew that message boards existed and somehow stumbled upon this she'd be convinced I started this thread. Both name and content. Also, major respect for naturally sneaking in eleventieth.

Ha. If it makes you feel any better, I study fish and had immediate screen name envy when I saw yours. Brilliant.

 

[SalVolinus]

Ha. If it makes you feel any better, I study fish and had immediate screen name envy when I saw yours. Brilliant.

Thanks, haha. Decent chance we have crossed paths at AFS?

 

[SockeyeVol]

Thanks, haha. Decent chance we have crossed paths at AFS?

Yes, quite possible.

Edited: this poll underscores how creepily fixated the fan base is on Hugh Freeze. Geez...

 

[iluvsmesumdooley]

Sounds like a lotta thespian action....

Huh huh huh....you said thespian. Yeah, yeah!

 

[Hartsvol]

Vol Twitter needs a role for sure

 

[SockeyeVol]

Turns out this was the Book of Exodus.

Just 7 weeks later, only VolNation and Nick Saban remain.

 

[Other_Guy]

I LOL'd at JG being Boromir