OrangeTsar
Alabama delenda est
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2009
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A friend in the UT AD's office just sent me a copy of an email from Hamilton to X. It looks and seems legit. Apparently, not all of X's business was successfully closed upon his hasty departure. Thought I would break the news here before Knox news gets a hold of it:
To: kingkiff@usc.eds
CC: yawyaw@usc.edu
From: hammie@utk.edu
Subject: Please advise...
Lane, I am still so sorry to have you gone so soon. It still seems like just yesterday when you started here. I know you had to leave in a big rush, so I have been accumulated a list of unfinished business that we needed to clear up at your earliest convenience.
Don't worry about your last paycheck though. Monte came by to pick it up Wed morning on his way out of town. Good thing too! Layla stopped by afterwards wanting the money too before "the slimy little weasel blows it all on booze and hostesses."
Anyway, the following items and fringe benefits owed you have not been spoken for and I need to know what you want done.
A: From the Lane Kiffin Show and the Vol Network:
1: Three year supply of frozen Jimmie Dean sausage
2: One pallet of recycled plastic cups courtesy of Eastman Kodak
3: Lifetime subscription to Natural Gas Monthly magazine
4: Crate of "It's Time 2009 Calendars"
B. Benefits left unclaimed by previous coach
1: Frequent customer card from Ryan's buffet
2: Fry Daddy donut machine and 25 gallons of peanut oil
3: Macaroni Grill VIP club coupons
C: Gifts from Area business
1: Penthouse Suite from Greystone Lodge in Gatlinburg
2: Dinette Set from Brown Squirrel Furniture
3: Deed to the World's Fair SunSphere
4: Free Houseboat Slip at Watts Bar Marina
D: Gifts from UT fans
1: Fourteen Blue Tick hounds, all named Smokey
2: Tick and Chigger removal kit
3: Memberships at twelve different deer hunting clubs
4: Two cases of Jack Daniel's whiskey
5: Orange and White Checkerboard toilet seat
6: Subscription to Guns and Ammo magazine
7: Key to the City: Maryville
8: Three pounds homemade Deer Jerkey
9: Two cases genuine TN Muskedine Wine
Sorry to have to bother you with this Lane, knowing how busy you are stealing our recruits and all. Oh, not to mention trying to calm your momma down. Man, she sounded upset when she called on Tuesday.
Best of luck man!!! You'll need it. Say "Hi" to Gus and Henry from the NCAA investigative services when they come by next week.
Till next time,
Mike
To: kingkiff@usc.eds
CC: yawyaw@usc.edu
From: hammie@utk.edu
Subject: Please advise...
Lane, I am still so sorry to have you gone so soon. It still seems like just yesterday when you started here. I know you had to leave in a big rush, so I have been accumulated a list of unfinished business that we needed to clear up at your earliest convenience.
Don't worry about your last paycheck though. Monte came by to pick it up Wed morning on his way out of town. Good thing too! Layla stopped by afterwards wanting the money too before "the slimy little weasel blows it all on booze and hostesses."
Anyway, the following items and fringe benefits owed you have not been spoken for and I need to know what you want done.
A: From the Lane Kiffin Show and the Vol Network:
1: Three year supply of frozen Jimmie Dean sausage
2: One pallet of recycled plastic cups courtesy of Eastman Kodak
3: Lifetime subscription to Natural Gas Monthly magazine
4: Crate of "It's Time 2009 Calendars"
B. Benefits left unclaimed by previous coach
1: Frequent customer card from Ryan's buffet
2: Fry Daddy donut machine and 25 gallons of peanut oil
3: Macaroni Grill VIP club coupons
C: Gifts from Area business
1: Penthouse Suite from Greystone Lodge in Gatlinburg
2: Dinette Set from Brown Squirrel Furniture
3: Deed to the World's Fair SunSphere
4: Free Houseboat Slip at Watts Bar Marina
D: Gifts from UT fans
1: Fourteen Blue Tick hounds, all named Smokey
2: Tick and Chigger removal kit
3: Memberships at twelve different deer hunting clubs
4: Two cases of Jack Daniel's whiskey
5: Orange and White Checkerboard toilet seat
6: Subscription to Guns and Ammo magazine
7: Key to the City: Maryville
8: Three pounds homemade Deer Jerkey
9: Two cases genuine TN Muskedine Wine
Sorry to have to bother you with this Lane, knowing how busy you are stealing our recruits and all. Oh, not to mention trying to calm your momma down. Man, she sounded upset when she called on Tuesday.
Best of luck man!!! You'll need it. Say "Hi" to Gus and Henry from the NCAA investigative services when they come by next week.
Till next time,
Mike
