Top 10 Reasons Tennessee Is Superior To Florida.

#30
#30
Good stuff indeed. Would add to #1 that there have been 3 US Presidents from the state of Tennessee (should've been 4 in '00), 0 from the state of Florida.
 
#37
#37
from my best friend that's a gator alum...

You might be a Tennessee fan if...

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- You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.
- You idea of talking during sex is "Ain't no cars coming, baby!"
- The tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
- Yer mom calls ya over t'help, cause she has a flat tire...on her house
- Ya have to check in the bottom yer shoe for change so ya can get grandma a new plug of tobacco
- Foreplay consists of slipping off her saddle
- Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart cause there is a law against it.
- Ya celebrate groundhog day (cause ya believe in it!!)
- You've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado
- Your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.
- You wake up with both a black eye and a hickey.
- Getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
- "Buck Naked Line Dancing" isn't a videotape, it's "Ladies Night" at the local bar.
- Your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.
- You dated your daddy's current wife in high school.
- You're moved to tears everytime you hear Dolly Parton singing "I Will Always Love You".
- Dolly Parton reminds you of the `Grand Tetons'. (of course this is a very sophisticated sophisticated redneck joke... if you laughed...you must be a redneck, only they will get this one.)
- You grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
- Your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center. (Clinton true-life story)
- The most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection (your insurance man is one too if he pays you for it).
- You actually made a pyramid of cans in the pale moonlight with Alan Jackson.
- You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
- You've ever hit a deer with your car... on purpose!
- You can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
- Your mom gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.
- You've ever parked a Camero in a tree.
- Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.
- You fantasize about tractors and farm animals - maybe not in that order.
- You do a good impression of a dog chokin' on a chikin bone.
- The Rotor-Rooter man drives by your trailer and says "What's that smell?"
- You've ever been asked for your autograph at a 'possum hunt.
- You attend a parent-teacher conference wearing flip-flops and a tank top.
- Pictures of your family reunion win 1st Prize on America's Funniest Home Videos.
- Your baby's crib mobile is made out of beer cans.
- You've used that 'Hair in a Can" spray for your cow's bald spot. .
- Your wife ruined her panty hose rubbin' up against the dried boogers on the front seat of your truck.



I need something to send in return.
 
#38
#38
rexvol said:
from my best friend that's a gator alum...

You might be a Tennessee fan if...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

- You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.
- You idea of talking during sex is "Ain't no cars coming, baby!"
- The tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
- Yer mom calls ya over t'help, cause she has a flat tire...on her house
- Ya have to check in the bottom yer shoe for change so ya can get grandma a new plug of tobacco
- Foreplay consists of slipping off her saddle
- Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart cause there is a law against it.
- Ya celebrate groundhog day (cause ya believe in it!!)
- You've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado
- Your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.
- You wake up with both a black eye and a hickey.
- Getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
- "Buck Naked Line Dancing" isn't a videotape, it's "Ladies Night" at the local bar.
- Your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.
- You dated your daddy's current wife in high school.
- You're moved to tears everytime you hear Dolly Parton singing "I Will Always Love You".
- Dolly Parton reminds you of the `Grand Tetons'. (of course this is a very sophisticated sophisticated redneck joke... if you laughed...you must be a redneck, only they will get this one.)
- You grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
- Your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center. (Clinton true-life story)
- The most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection (your insurance man is one too if he pays you for it).
- You actually made a pyramid of cans in the pale moonlight with Alan Jackson.
- You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
- You've ever hit a deer with your car... on purpose!
- You can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
- Your mom gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.
- You've ever parked a Camero in a tree.
- Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.
- You fantasize about tractors and farm animals - maybe not in that order.
- You do a good impression of a dog chokin' on a chikin bone.
- The Rotor-Rooter man drives by your trailer and says "What's that smell?"
- You've ever been asked for your autograph at a 'possum hunt.
- You attend a parent-teacher conference wearing flip-flops and a tank top.
- Pictures of your family reunion win 1st Prize on America's Funniest Home Videos.
- Your baby's crib mobile is made out of beer cans.
- You've used that 'Hair in a Can" spray for your cow's bald spot. .
- Your wife ruined her panty hose rubbin' up against the dried boogers on the front seat of your truck.



I need something to send in return.
Click to expand...

Tell him that's dumb and unoriginal... because it is... copy and pasted from a Georgia/Alabama/Mississippi/Kentucky/Arkansas... etc etc.

That's just a list of redneck stuff... which applies to the part of Florida which isn't owned by Cuba..

Hat's list can't be applied to another state or area..
 
#40
#40
I love it when Hat turns his powers of insult toward the opposing team. Good times.
 
#41
#41
Tell your friend that you might be a Florida grad... If you misspell Camaro in a post intended to ridicule the intellect of an opponent's fans.
 
#43
#43
Hat, was that an annexation of Latin America or an annexation by Latin America???
 
#47
#47
hatvol96 said:
1. We can handle our portion of a Presidential election. 2. Our fans realize that SEC football was played before 1990. 3. In Tennessee, jorts are cause for ridicule. In Florida, they're high fashion. 4. Tennessee has beaten Miami twice since Florida last defeated the "U." 5. Neyland Stadium isn't named after a relative of Katherine Harris. 6. Tennessee has three diverse grand divisions. The only worthwhile part of the Sunshine State is a de facto annex of Latin America. 7. Tennessee=Mountains, trees, rivers. Florida=Mullets, turnpikes, rejects from the North. 8. Tennessee never employed Charlie Pell. 9. Bruce Pearl isn't Butch Patrick's doppleganger. 10. Phillip Fulmer has many faults. Crying like a woman in public isn't one of them.
Click to expand...


In reply:

1. At least our portion matters.

2. We don't live in the past, unlike you and the Fulmer apologists.

3. I've only seen them on women and don't have a problem on the right one.

4. So?

5. Conceded.

6. Micanopy is nice in May.

7. Conceded.

8. Yes, but you do employ CPF.

9. No, but he is his own lake.

10. You'd trade it for an SEC or BCS championship in a second.
 
#48
#48
Ask Al Gore how much Tennessee's electoral votes mattered in 2000. If he wins his nominal home state, the fact Floridians are so intellectually inept wouldn't have mattered.
 
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