The Topic That Will Never Die

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#3,927
#3,927
A man was walking through a cemetery and he happened to notice a poem on one of the headstones. It said:

Stop stranger, do not pass me by,
For as you are now, so once was I.
As I am now soon you will be,
So come along and follow me.

Underneath the poem, someone had scratched out:

To follow you I'd not be content,
Until I knew which way you went. :)
 
#3,930
#3,930
Marta likes to talk about sensuality, but I don't think she would know sensuality if it bit her on the ass.

-- Jack Handey
 
#3,934
#3,934
on the first day of school a first grader handed his teacher a note from his mother which read " The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."
 
#3,935
#3,935
A little girl had just finished her 1st week of school . "I'M just wasteing my time, " she told her mother. " I can't read, and I can't write and they won't let me talk!"
 
#3,936
#3,936
alright boys this thing is going on life support time to bring the dream back to life! we can't let Freak down!
 
#3,942
#3,942
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
 
#3,943
#3,943
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.



The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.


Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?&1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.&2) Advising the President.&3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.


I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.


A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's really attractive.

 
#3,944
#3,944
Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes. (LIO!!)


We learn from history that man can never learn anything from history.


If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it.


Never moon a werewolf.

 
#3,945
#3,945
A horse walked into a bar. The bartender looked at him and said, "Aw man, why the long face today?"

A termite walked into a bar and said, "Is the bartender (bar tender) here?"

:nono:
 
#3,946
#3,946
A little boy got lost at a YMCA and wound up in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room erupted with screams and shrieks as ladies grabbed for towels and ducked for cover. The little boy watched with amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
 
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