The Topic That Will Never Die

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#4,579
#4,579
yeah well I hope it works out too. I've been surounded with it so much my life I think it rubbed off on me.
 
#4,581
#4,581
oh man, and I was planning on hireing him after I killed............................... oh my bad thinking out loud here.
 
#4,586
#4,586
now how the heck are we suppose to take out LIO and OWB now that you gave it away. First you tell me my lawyer died, THEN you got to go tell them I have a white bronco. Go ahead and tell them were are gloves sre hidden while you at it. GOSH.
 
#4,592
#4,592
hey I think once you get around 2,000 post that freak will proably make you a vn guru.
 
#4,594
#4,594
yeah, u-t and orange td 88. i have more post than them.

its ok though. i like this site.

guru isnt everything.

my time will come.

i have been :naughty: at times. probation.
 
#4,597
#4,597
cc: It's like a lot of other things. The words do not have to be there. What's important is that you feel like a major contributor, which you are, and that counts for a lot.

You can be a GURU in your head until it becomes stated on paper.

That's the way I see it, at least! :twocents:
 
#4,598
#4,598
For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle.
His father said,Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house
is $80,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it.

The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the front door with a suitcase.

So he asked, Son, where are you going? Little Patrick told him, I was walking past
your room last night and I heard you telling mom you were pulling out. Then
heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too.

And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with an $80,000 mortgage and no bike....
 
#4,599
#4,599
THE AGGRESSOR

News anchors Dan Rather and Peter Jennings, NPR Reporter Cokie Roberts, along with a U.S. Marine assigned to protect them were hiking through the Iraqdesert one day when they were captured by Iraqis. They were tied up, led to a village, and brought before the leader.

The leader said, "I am familiar with your western custom of granting the condemned a last wish; so, before we kill and dismember you, do you have any last requests?"

Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of hot spicy chili." The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."

Peter Jennings said, "I am Canadian, so I'd like to hear the song 'O Canada' one last time." The leader nodded to a terrorist who had studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag musicians and played the anthem. Jenningssighed and declared he could now die peacefully.

Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end."
The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."

The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final wish?"

"Kick me in the ass," said the Marine.

"What?" asked the leader. "Will you mock us in your last hour?"

"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass," insisted the Marine.

So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass.

The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9mm pistol from inside his cammies, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M16 Rifle, and sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire. In a flash, all the Iraqis were either dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying Rather, Jennings, and Roberts, they asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot them at the start? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass first?"

"What," replied the Marine, "and have you three assholes call me the aggressor?"
 
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