The Topic That Will Never Die V

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#11,427
#11,427
volwindy said:
This is why I could not handle kids at this point in my life, love them, but I'd be impatient with this kind of thing! I'm sure that was hard to hear, but I think that is the thing you have to expect to hear at least once as a parent! But just think if you do let him always get away with everything what he will do, especially later on in years to come....
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I'm not offended by what you said. In fact, I'm impressed with your self awareness. And yes, I tell him all the time I do and say the things I do b/c I love him and want him to be happy and safe and grow up to be happy. But I also tell him while I do love him unconditionally, I do have certain expectations and want him to achieve great things. I mean, my kids are spoiled. We give them a good life b/c my husband can afford nice things for them and vacations, but on top of us, Jake was the first grandchild on both sides so he is the little prince. And of course, I'm the only child so my mom and her husband will only have my kids and they do everything for them. So with all these advantages I tell him I will not sit by and let him act out, he has to be accountable for his actions.

Just a little side note about my boy, we pray with him at bedtime every night and last night he says "Dear Jesus, Thank you so much for me and for all the children and for Lex and Ava. And not thank you for the spanking I got. We love you Jesus, Amen" He's smart, he knows I am over the moon for him and his brother and sister. And we do cut up a lot and laugh a lot so it's just hard for me to be the heavy at times.
 
#11,430
#11,430
What is time out? :birgits_giggle: I'm joking. Time outs do not seem effective with Jake. Now I do think you have to customize discipline at times. Like for me personally all my mother had to do was say "Go ahead and do it and see what happens" that was enough b/c whatever my mind came up with was scary. Isolation was also horrible to me so needless to say I didn't have to be spanked, I mean I'm sure I got a couple but none that I remember. Now Jake he needs spanks and so does his brother Lex, but Ava, she sees what is happening around her and learns and doesn't challenge me like the boys do. She is very independent unlike my boys. If you raise your voice to Ava that is enough to upset her and make her mind. So while I agree, discipline is a private matter, I still think parents should customize it b/c if you're spanking a child that doesn't require it, they will likely withdraw and have other problems. This is why discipline is such a hot topic b/c spanking is not for every child.
 
#11,435
#11,435
Volnissniss said:
Well we're going through a little something I'm not sure if he is just trying to see how far he can go since it's summer and our schedule has changed and more relaxed or what. But yesterday I decided we needed some one on one so I took my five yr old son, Jake, to the children's museum, we had a good time and he got a couple things at the gift shop, so on our way out he sees the blue powerade in the machine, well, I have no cash. I never do b/c of the stupid check cards. So he has a fit over that and then moves onto a sprite at the concession and when I said no to that he walked up to me and hit me. So I got down and said we are going to the van now and when we get home you will face the consenquenses of hitting mommy. So he's fussing but walking with me. Anyway, I have a problem with the follow through. After a nice car ride home having to say ok, it's time to face your consequenses, I just hate bringing up the ugly so I usually drop it and that has resulted in him not really respecting me authority. So I pop him on the butt with my hand and hugged him, told him I loved him but to understand I was the parent and if I say no, it's no. So he woke up pissed at me over that and I've already arranged a playdate with one of his friends, they are coming over to swim at 12:30, so I try hard to make his life happy and full. So I had the tv on VH1 or somethign while I was picking and he said he wan't breakfast but I need to turn the freakin channel to spongebob and off those stupid songs. So I asked him if he could think of a nicer way to talk to me. He said no so I sent him to his room to which he replied I was the meanest mommy ever. My husband called and talked to him so for now, he's sweet again. Anyway, he's a good kid and it was just me and him for four yrs before the two little monsters came along and now he's got to share me. So we're just going through normal stuff.

Sorry for the longest post ever! But it's only appropriate that the meanest Mommy ever do it!
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We must be long lost soul mates because I have been told several times that I am the meanest daddy ever.
 
#11,447
#11,447
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