The Official Chuck Norris Joke Thread

[GASOUTHERNVOL]

ok ive been posting them all day in the sports forum,, give me your best Chuck jokes

 

[OrangeEmpire]

 

[OrangeEmpire]

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

 

[OrangeEmpire]

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain. There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls. Chuck Norris is my Homeboy. Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING

 

[OrangeEmpire]

4Q.cc >> Top 100 Facts for Chuck Norris

 

[bigorange]

Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made of real cowboys.

 

[GASOUTHERNVOL]

There is no such thing as tornados, Churck Norris just hates trailor parks

 

[bigorange]

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

I think thats the best one I've ever seen!

 

[TXA&M07]

as I have said before,

Chuck Norris told the sun to go down yesterday.

It obeyed. :matrix:

 

[GASOUTHERNVOL]

Chuck Norris DID build Rome in a day, while drunk

 

[GASOUTHERNVOL]

Chuck Norris doesnt get Hangovers, he just gets pissed

 

[OrangeEmpire]

 

[OrangeEmpire]

 

[OrangeEmpire]

 

[OrangeEmpire]

 

[OrangeEmpire]

 

[OrangeEmpire]