OneManGang
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Tennessee vs The Maxims vs Iowa
And so my faithful Oibrithe deonacha, we come now to the end of the current part of tale of the People of the Hill and the mighty Lords (and some not-so-mighty) who have lead them to victory and glory in the annual wars to determine dominance in the Nation of the Pigskin. But, nay, it is not the end. Next year the Men of the Hill will once more don tunics of that inimitable Orange to sally forth and do battle.
From our last gathering: "The Genrul thence gazed upon the scroll bearing the names of others of his underlings who could be promoted to command the Army. His glance settled upon Sir Bowden of the Twelve Steps."
Having taken the reins from Young Harvey, Sir Bowden enjoyed great success during his first two campaigns. Indeed in the Year of Fifty-Six, the Army of the Men of The Hill stood proudly atop all those in the Southeastern fiefdom of the Pigskin Nation.
Alas! Sir Bowden's inability to complete the Twelve Steps and the presence of The Genrul looking over his shoulder prevented Sir Bowden from adopting the new tactics which were transforming the very nature of pigskin warfare. The fortunes of the Army of The Hill began to wane.
In February of the Year of Sixty-Two the Genrul breathed his last. Great wailing and gnashing of teeth reverberated throughout the Land of The Hill and many toasts were quaffed and tales of past victories recounted as the Old Man was laid to rest.
Unfortunately too many of those toasts were consumed by Sir Bowden and in the early days of the Year of Sixty-Three he didst disrupt a gathering of the Powers of the Southeast held in the Land of the Lizard People. With great sadness, the Kings of The Hill were forced to relieve Sir Bowden of command.
The Kings of the Hill, much concerned that the search for a new commander be properly undertaken, settled on promoting one of Sir Bowden's subordinates, James of the Short-Time, as interregnum. James did no harm, nor did he gain favor though as his single campaign yielded nigh as many victories as defeats.
The Kings of The Hill brought in oracles, seers and sages to help with their deliberations. Scrolls were consulted and entrails read. They settled on one Lord Dickey the Trickey, a former field commander of the Lizard People to be Commander of the Army of the Hill and also Lord Robert of the Rough-Wood as his Overlord. And thus, after the end of the year of James of the Short-Time, white smoke didst appear from the great chimney on Riverside Drive (soon to be renamed in honor of The Genrul) and the announcement made, "Annuntio vobis gaudium magnum: HABEMUS COACHAM!"
Lord Dickey didst enjoy no better success his first campaign than James had. However, Lord Dickey was scouring the Land of Pigskin seeking strapping young lads capable of adapting to the new tactics and employing them. Many storied victories didst follow. Indeed, many names were added to the Scroll of Legends on The Hill during Lord Dickey's tenure. Men such as Sir Dewey of the Swamplands, Sir Jack of the Saw-blade, Sir Timothy the Priest, Sir Curtis of Crossville and Baron Condredge of The Return were but a few among those so honored and many stories told and tankards raised to them.
The Army of the Hill once again stood conquering over the Southeastern marches in the Year of Sixty-Seven and again in the Year of Sixty-Nine. It t'was at the conclusion of that last when Lord Dickey revealed a dark secret. As the Army prepared to battle the Lizard People in a final engagement Lord Trickey didst reveal himself and didst announce to the Army that, ere the end of the forthcoming battle, he wouldst depart the Army of The Hill to assume the Lordship in the land of those self-same Lizard People! Disheartened, the Army of the Hill didst drink the bitter dregs of defeat and many an imprecation hurled and infamy was uttered at Lord Trickey's departure.
Once again the Kings of The Hill consulted seers and sages. They thence didst announce the new commander to be Sir William of the Fake Punt. Sir William hailed from the Kingdom of DaBear whose armies didst enjoy great success. Indeed, young William didst best DaBear in their first meeting. Such success was not to last and ere the middle of the Decade of the Seventies whispers and mutterings filled the conversations of the People of The Hill that the Mandate of Pigskin Heaven had departed Sir William and the populace demanded that changes be made. After the campaign of the Year of Seventy-Six, Sir William was relieved of command but went on to remake himself as Lord Bill of the Trade-Mark and accumulated a vast fortune.
Fortunately for the Army of the Hill a worthy successor was at hand. Lord Johnny of the Quick Kick had that same year led the Army of the Monagahela Valley to the summit of the Pigskin Nation. Lord Johnny had been a field general under both The Genrul and Sir Bowden and expressed his desire to return to the Army of the Hill to assume the mantle of his mentors during his time in The Army.
Once again the white smoke blossomed and thunderous ovations greeted the news that Lord Johnny was marching home. Lord Johnny immediately undertook his mission to return the Men of the Hill to notoriety in Empire of the Pigskin. For long years he labored. Eventually, in the Year of Eighty-Five, the Army of the Hill once again claimed their rightful spot as Champions of the Southeast. In the last battle of that campaign, the Men of the Hill were invited to square off against the Pelican People of Miami. Scribes and pontificators across the Fruited Plain laughed at the prospect saying amongst themselves that Lord Johnny's Army stood no chance against the high-flying Pelicans. In open combat on the first day of the Year of Eighty-Six, the Men of the Hill did strike down the Pelican People and many of those naysayers were agog at the achievement. Lord Johnny's Armies reclaimed dominance in the years of Eighty-Nine and Ninety and great rejoicing echoed through the land.
In a surprising turn of events in the Year of Eighty-Five, Lord Robert of the Rough Wood didst step down as Overlord and the Kings of the Hill stunned one and all whence it was announced that Lord Trickey the Dickey would return to be Overlord!
Alas! Lord Johnny was stricken grievously ill in the Year of Ninety-Two and Lord Philip of the Hand-Clap was appointed to command in his stead. Ere before his maladies, voices had been raised that Lord Johnny had lost the Mandate himself and now his physical debilities did argue against him. Lord Johnny found himself cast from command by Lord Trickey and Lord Philip elevated to that lofty position.
It was Lord Philip of the Hand Clap who didst return the Army of the Hill to total dominance of the Empire of the Pigskin the Year of Ninety-Nine at the end of the Ninety-Eight Campaign. There was again great rejoicing throughout the land. Further victories followed in the years hence but dominance eluded the Army of the Hill and Lord Philip had many defeats at the flippers of the Lizard People which didst begin to turn the masses against him. As with his predecessor, the whispers and speculation as his loss of the Mandate did result in his relief after the Campaign of Twenty-Oh-Eight which saw two fewer victories than defeats.
The reign of Lord Philip, though, as with that of Lord Johnny is now regarded somewhat wistfully by the People of the Hill. During their three decades of command many more names were added to The Scroll such as Sir Fuad of Venezuela, Sir Darryl the Slayer of Pelicans, Sir Jeffrey of the Greensward, Lord Tamaurice of Tempe, Noble Jeffery of the Automatic Toe, Valiant Aldra of the Concussive Hit, and of course, Sir Peyton of New Orleans to name but a few.
The year Twenty-Oh-Two had seen the departure of Overlord Dickey the Trickey and the Kings of The Hill named Hambone of the Dough to be his replacement. It was he who made the final decision to force Sir Philip from his command.
Amidst great fanfare, Overlord Hambone proclaimed one Kiffey of the Burning Mattress to succeed Lord Philip. After one year of command and indifferent success, Kiffey did suddenly depart the Army of the Hill for a similar post with the Army of the Condoms in the far western marches. Great wailing and gnashing of teeth did accompany these tidings.
Desperate, Overlord Hambone cast about for a new commander. His gaze settled on Scion Derek of the lineage of Noble Vincent of the DawgPeople. Scion Derek proved unequal to the task and after three disappointing campaigns was relieved before even the end of the Campaign of Twenty-Twelve.
Overlord Hambone had been dismissed by the Kings of the Hill in Twenty-eleven and David, Banisher of the Baby Blue, was named as new Overlord.
Overlord David did search high and low for a new commander before the name of Noble Butch of the Bricks caught his attention. We, the People of The Hill have just enjoyed our second year with Noble Butch in command. Whilst it be far to early to elevate Noble Butch to a Lordship, the omens would suggest such a day be not too far in the future.
Oibrithe deonacha Teigh!*
- Your Humble Scribe,
One Man Gang
---
In February of 1944, Task Force 58, a massive American fleet of 12 carriers along with attendant battleships, cruisers and destroyers under the command of the legendary Admiral Marc A. Mitscher, closed on the Japanese fortress at Truk.
Truk Lagoon was a vast natural harbor that in January had contained virtually the entire Combined Fleet. The Japanese blinked. They could see clearly that Truk was certain to be the object of a massive American attack and the Combined Fleet, beginning in October of 1943, began to shift their major fleet units elsewhere.
The distance and a spate of bad weather kept the Americans in the dark as to these movements. Still expecting massive resistance, on February 15th the TF 58 arrived in the area and the first wave of attacks launched on the 16th.
When the Task Force had left Pearl Harbor on this mission the reputation of Fortress Truk was such that it caused many to despair that less than half the ships might return.
The fearsome Truk fortress turned out to be a chimera. Without the Combined Fleet to help defend it, the remaining Japanese naval force there was virtually annihilated in two days of American carrier air operations. Some 270 Japanese planes were shot down or destroyed on the ground. Worse, from the Japanese standpoint, was the loss of three cruisers, four destroyers and 40 merchant ships and naval auxiliaries.
In return the Japanese managed to only inflict minor damage to one American carrier and a battleship. The allegedly fearsome Japanese defenses only claimed 25 American planes.
As with those Cassandras watching Task Force 58 depart for Truk in 1944, most pundits and chin-pullers foresaw a difficult game for the Tennessee Volunteers against Iowa in the Taxslayer/Gator Bowl. Butch Jones's troops blew the Hawkeyes out of the stadium by a final score of 45-28. And it wasn't nearly that close.
All together now:
The Genrul's Seven Game Maxims:
1. The team that makes the fewest mistakes will win.
2. Play for and make the breaks. When one comes your way SCORE!
3. If at first the game or the breaks go against you, dont let up PUT ON MORE STEAM!
4. Protect our kickers, our quarterback, our lead and our ballgame.
5. Ball! Oskie! Cover, block, cut and slice, pursue and gang tackle THIS IS THE WINNING EDGE.
6. Press the kicking game. Here is where the breaks are made.
7. Carry the fight to the opponent and keep it there for sixty minutes.
So called experts and others on this very board have belittled Head Vol Jones at various times this season. He was in over his head, said they. His gameday coaching leaves much to be desired, they bleated. Josh Dobbs is not the answer, they chorused.
Note to all those above, even prepared properly and presented with vegetables on a silver platter, crow is still a ghastly meal.
To my faithful readers and friends here on VolNation I hope you have enjoyed my tongue-in-cheek recounting of Volunteer football history. It was fun.
To Head Vol Butch Jones and his troops of Team 118 let this Old Vol offer a sincere doff of the chapeau and congratulations on a successful season. 2015 will, your humble scribe fully believes, be another stepping stone on the road to redemption for the Army of The Hill.
See you all in September!
Brick by Brick, Baby!
MAXOMG
Suggested Reading:
Samuel Eliot Morison, Aleutians, Gilberts and Marshalls: June 1942 to April 1944
Clark G. Reynolds, The Fast Carriers
Theodore Taylor, The Magnificent Mitscher
* "Go, Volunteers!" in Gaelic.
© 2014
Keeping Your Stories Alive
And so my faithful Oibrithe deonacha, we come now to the end of the current part of tale of the People of the Hill and the mighty Lords (and some not-so-mighty) who have lead them to victory and glory in the annual wars to determine dominance in the Nation of the Pigskin. But, nay, it is not the end. Next year the Men of the Hill will once more don tunics of that inimitable Orange to sally forth and do battle.
From our last gathering: "The Genrul thence gazed upon the scroll bearing the names of others of his underlings who could be promoted to command the Army. His glance settled upon Sir Bowden of the Twelve Steps."
Having taken the reins from Young Harvey, Sir Bowden enjoyed great success during his first two campaigns. Indeed in the Year of Fifty-Six, the Army of the Men of The Hill stood proudly atop all those in the Southeastern fiefdom of the Pigskin Nation.
Alas! Sir Bowden's inability to complete the Twelve Steps and the presence of The Genrul looking over his shoulder prevented Sir Bowden from adopting the new tactics which were transforming the very nature of pigskin warfare. The fortunes of the Army of The Hill began to wane.
In February of the Year of Sixty-Two the Genrul breathed his last. Great wailing and gnashing of teeth reverberated throughout the Land of The Hill and many toasts were quaffed and tales of past victories recounted as the Old Man was laid to rest.
Unfortunately too many of those toasts were consumed by Sir Bowden and in the early days of the Year of Sixty-Three he didst disrupt a gathering of the Powers of the Southeast held in the Land of the Lizard People. With great sadness, the Kings of The Hill were forced to relieve Sir Bowden of command.
The Kings of the Hill, much concerned that the search for a new commander be properly undertaken, settled on promoting one of Sir Bowden's subordinates, James of the Short-Time, as interregnum. James did no harm, nor did he gain favor though as his single campaign yielded nigh as many victories as defeats.
The Kings of The Hill brought in oracles, seers and sages to help with their deliberations. Scrolls were consulted and entrails read. They settled on one Lord Dickey the Trickey, a former field commander of the Lizard People to be Commander of the Army of the Hill and also Lord Robert of the Rough-Wood as his Overlord. And thus, after the end of the year of James of the Short-Time, white smoke didst appear from the great chimney on Riverside Drive (soon to be renamed in honor of The Genrul) and the announcement made, "Annuntio vobis gaudium magnum: HABEMUS COACHAM!"
Lord Dickey didst enjoy no better success his first campaign than James had. However, Lord Dickey was scouring the Land of Pigskin seeking strapping young lads capable of adapting to the new tactics and employing them. Many storied victories didst follow. Indeed, many names were added to the Scroll of Legends on The Hill during Lord Dickey's tenure. Men such as Sir Dewey of the Swamplands, Sir Jack of the Saw-blade, Sir Timothy the Priest, Sir Curtis of Crossville and Baron Condredge of The Return were but a few among those so honored and many stories told and tankards raised to them.
The Army of the Hill once again stood conquering over the Southeastern marches in the Year of Sixty-Seven and again in the Year of Sixty-Nine. It t'was at the conclusion of that last when Lord Dickey revealed a dark secret. As the Army prepared to battle the Lizard People in a final engagement Lord Trickey didst reveal himself and didst announce to the Army that, ere the end of the forthcoming battle, he wouldst depart the Army of The Hill to assume the Lordship in the land of those self-same Lizard People! Disheartened, the Army of the Hill didst drink the bitter dregs of defeat and many an imprecation hurled and infamy was uttered at Lord Trickey's departure.
Once again the Kings of The Hill consulted seers and sages. They thence didst announce the new commander to be Sir William of the Fake Punt. Sir William hailed from the Kingdom of DaBear whose armies didst enjoy great success. Indeed, young William didst best DaBear in their first meeting. Such success was not to last and ere the middle of the Decade of the Seventies whispers and mutterings filled the conversations of the People of The Hill that the Mandate of Pigskin Heaven had departed Sir William and the populace demanded that changes be made. After the campaign of the Year of Seventy-Six, Sir William was relieved of command but went on to remake himself as Lord Bill of the Trade-Mark and accumulated a vast fortune.
Fortunately for the Army of the Hill a worthy successor was at hand. Lord Johnny of the Quick Kick had that same year led the Army of the Monagahela Valley to the summit of the Pigskin Nation. Lord Johnny had been a field general under both The Genrul and Sir Bowden and expressed his desire to return to the Army of the Hill to assume the mantle of his mentors during his time in The Army.
Once again the white smoke blossomed and thunderous ovations greeted the news that Lord Johnny was marching home. Lord Johnny immediately undertook his mission to return the Men of the Hill to notoriety in Empire of the Pigskin. For long years he labored. Eventually, in the Year of Eighty-Five, the Army of the Hill once again claimed their rightful spot as Champions of the Southeast. In the last battle of that campaign, the Men of the Hill were invited to square off against the Pelican People of Miami. Scribes and pontificators across the Fruited Plain laughed at the prospect saying amongst themselves that Lord Johnny's Army stood no chance against the high-flying Pelicans. In open combat on the first day of the Year of Eighty-Six, the Men of the Hill did strike down the Pelican People and many of those naysayers were agog at the achievement. Lord Johnny's Armies reclaimed dominance in the years of Eighty-Nine and Ninety and great rejoicing echoed through the land.
In a surprising turn of events in the Year of Eighty-Five, Lord Robert of the Rough Wood didst step down as Overlord and the Kings of the Hill stunned one and all whence it was announced that Lord Trickey the Dickey would return to be Overlord!
Alas! Lord Johnny was stricken grievously ill in the Year of Ninety-Two and Lord Philip of the Hand-Clap was appointed to command in his stead. Ere before his maladies, voices had been raised that Lord Johnny had lost the Mandate himself and now his physical debilities did argue against him. Lord Johnny found himself cast from command by Lord Trickey and Lord Philip elevated to that lofty position.
It was Lord Philip of the Hand Clap who didst return the Army of the Hill to total dominance of the Empire of the Pigskin the Year of Ninety-Nine at the end of the Ninety-Eight Campaign. There was again great rejoicing throughout the land. Further victories followed in the years hence but dominance eluded the Army of the Hill and Lord Philip had many defeats at the flippers of the Lizard People which didst begin to turn the masses against him. As with his predecessor, the whispers and speculation as his loss of the Mandate did result in his relief after the Campaign of Twenty-Oh-Eight which saw two fewer victories than defeats.
The reign of Lord Philip, though, as with that of Lord Johnny is now regarded somewhat wistfully by the People of the Hill. During their three decades of command many more names were added to The Scroll such as Sir Fuad of Venezuela, Sir Darryl the Slayer of Pelicans, Sir Jeffrey of the Greensward, Lord Tamaurice of Tempe, Noble Jeffery of the Automatic Toe, Valiant Aldra of the Concussive Hit, and of course, Sir Peyton of New Orleans to name but a few.
The year Twenty-Oh-Two had seen the departure of Overlord Dickey the Trickey and the Kings of The Hill named Hambone of the Dough to be his replacement. It was he who made the final decision to force Sir Philip from his command.
Amidst great fanfare, Overlord Hambone proclaimed one Kiffey of the Burning Mattress to succeed Lord Philip. After one year of command and indifferent success, Kiffey did suddenly depart the Army of the Hill for a similar post with the Army of the Condoms in the far western marches. Great wailing and gnashing of teeth did accompany these tidings.
Desperate, Overlord Hambone cast about for a new commander. His gaze settled on Scion Derek of the lineage of Noble Vincent of the DawgPeople. Scion Derek proved unequal to the task and after three disappointing campaigns was relieved before even the end of the Campaign of Twenty-Twelve.
Overlord Hambone had been dismissed by the Kings of the Hill in Twenty-eleven and David, Banisher of the Baby Blue, was named as new Overlord.
Overlord David did search high and low for a new commander before the name of Noble Butch of the Bricks caught his attention. We, the People of The Hill have just enjoyed our second year with Noble Butch in command. Whilst it be far to early to elevate Noble Butch to a Lordship, the omens would suggest such a day be not too far in the future.
Oibrithe deonacha Teigh!*
- Your Humble Scribe,
One Man Gang
---
In February of 1944, Task Force 58, a massive American fleet of 12 carriers along with attendant battleships, cruisers and destroyers under the command of the legendary Admiral Marc A. Mitscher, closed on the Japanese fortress at Truk.
Truk Lagoon was a vast natural harbor that in January had contained virtually the entire Combined Fleet. The Japanese blinked. They could see clearly that Truk was certain to be the object of a massive American attack and the Combined Fleet, beginning in October of 1943, began to shift their major fleet units elsewhere.
The distance and a spate of bad weather kept the Americans in the dark as to these movements. Still expecting massive resistance, on February 15th the TF 58 arrived in the area and the first wave of attacks launched on the 16th.
When the Task Force had left Pearl Harbor on this mission the reputation of Fortress Truk was such that it caused many to despair that less than half the ships might return.
The fearsome Truk fortress turned out to be a chimera. Without the Combined Fleet to help defend it, the remaining Japanese naval force there was virtually annihilated in two days of American carrier air operations. Some 270 Japanese planes were shot down or destroyed on the ground. Worse, from the Japanese standpoint, was the loss of three cruisers, four destroyers and 40 merchant ships and naval auxiliaries.
In return the Japanese managed to only inflict minor damage to one American carrier and a battleship. The allegedly fearsome Japanese defenses only claimed 25 American planes.
---
As with those Cassandras watching Task Force 58 depart for Truk in 1944, most pundits and chin-pullers foresaw a difficult game for the Tennessee Volunteers against Iowa in the Taxslayer/Gator Bowl. Butch Jones's troops blew the Hawkeyes out of the stadium by a final score of 45-28. And it wasn't nearly that close.
All together now:
The Genrul's Seven Game Maxims:
1. The team that makes the fewest mistakes will win.
2. Play for and make the breaks. When one comes your way SCORE!
3. If at first the game or the breaks go against you, dont let up PUT ON MORE STEAM!
4. Protect our kickers, our quarterback, our lead and our ballgame.
5. Ball! Oskie! Cover, block, cut and slice, pursue and gang tackle THIS IS THE WINNING EDGE.
6. Press the kicking game. Here is where the breaks are made.
7. Carry the fight to the opponent and keep it there for sixty minutes.
So called experts and others on this very board have belittled Head Vol Jones at various times this season. He was in over his head, said they. His gameday coaching leaves much to be desired, they bleated. Josh Dobbs is not the answer, they chorused.
Note to all those above, even prepared properly and presented with vegetables on a silver platter, crow is still a ghastly meal.
To my faithful readers and friends here on VolNation I hope you have enjoyed my tongue-in-cheek recounting of Volunteer football history. It was fun.
To Head Vol Butch Jones and his troops of Team 118 let this Old Vol offer a sincere doff of the chapeau and congratulations on a successful season. 2015 will, your humble scribe fully believes, be another stepping stone on the road to redemption for the Army of The Hill.
See you all in September!
Brick by Brick, Baby!
MAXOMG
Suggested Reading:
Samuel Eliot Morison, Aleutians, Gilberts and Marshalls: June 1942 to April 1944
Clark G. Reynolds, The Fast Carriers
Theodore Taylor, The Magnificent Mitscher
* "Go, Volunteers!" in Gaelic.
© 2014
Keeping Your Stories Alive
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