Spurrier Joke

#1
TennesseeTuba68

TennesseeTuba68

'Papa Burgundy'
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Aug 26, 2005
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#1
Steve Spurrier, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with little Gamecock sticker on the window.

"This is yours for eternity," said God. "This is very special, for not everyone gets a house like this up here." Steve felt special indeed and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a three story mansion with an Orange and White checkerboard sidewalk, 50 ft tall flagpole with an enormous Vol flag, and in every window, pictures of Power Ts on the sides of football helmets and an oil painting of Peyton Manning over the fireplace.

Steve looked at God and said, "I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I've been rated high in all papers, my school won a national championship in football, I've even beaten the Vols several times, and someday I hope to be in the Hall of Fame.

God asked, "So what do you want to know Steve?"

Well, why does Phil Fulmer get a better house than I?"

God chuckled and said, "Steve, that's not Phil's house--IT'S MINE!!

Proof that God is a Tennessee Fan...hehehe.
 
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#5
#5
TennesseeTuba68 said:
Steve Spurrier, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with little Gamecock sticker on the window.

"This is yours for eternity," said God. "This is very special, for not everyone gets a house like this up here." Steve felt special indeed and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a three story mansion with an Orange and White checkerboard sidewalk, 50 ft tall flagpole with an enormous Vol flag, and in every window, pictures of Power Ts on the sides of football helmets and an oil painting of Peyton Manning over the fireplace.

Steve looked at God and said, "I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I've been rated high in all papers, my school won a national championship in football, I've even beaten the Vols several times, and someday I hope to be in the Hall of Fame.

God asked, "So what do you want to know Steve?"

Well, why does Phil Fulmer get a better house than I?"

God chuckled and said, "Steve, that's not Phil's house--IT'S MINE!!

Proof that God is a Tennessee Fan...hehehe.
Click to expand...

This “joke” makes me hate all jokes. Congrats on ruining my ability to ever laugh again.
 
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#11
#11
Steve Spurrier passes. After the memorials are done and the grass is rooted over his gravesite, some former players, colleagues, and friends don visors and gather at his grave. When enough stories are told, they all toss their visors down hard and go their separate ways.

Time rolls on as it ever does, and stories circulate about folks tossing visors onto Spurrier’s gravesite. Sports Illustrated dispatches a reporter to do a story. The reporter interviews the head groundskeeper. The groundskeeper tells the reporter that it’s true and shows him a shed chocked full of visors. He says that the cemetery tries to dissuade people from doing it, but visors are found everyday. The groundskeeper suggests the reporter interview the local police precinct about the number of people apprehended for trespassing after hours, almost all of whom are guilty of tossing visors on Spurrier’s grave.

The reporter asks what becomes of the visors. The groundskeeper replies that they’ve been thrown away, picked up by charities & civic groups, cleaned and given to the poor and homeless, and sold for fundraising. The cemetery stopped cooperating with the latter when trespassers used their charitable purchases in bids for leniency in sentencing.

SI allowed one photograph with the story and was forced to admit it had been staged using visors from the shed.
 
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