SEC Teams as Biblical Figures

#51
#51
This is hilarious. Pure gold; very accurate and clever. I guess it is true what they say: football really is a religion in the South! :eek:lol:
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#52
#52
I thought it was hilarious. Especially Vandy's and Mississippi State. They were all accurate too.

Obviously a Georgia fan wrote it. Nevertheless, i really enjoyed it.
 
#53
#53
Maybe Im not as crazy as the trolls thought I was for saying hilarious.....
Actually, I think a Gamecock wrote it..
 
#60
#60
UGA and UT might be switched. UGA might consider Dooley the prodigal son, while UT is more Job-like. No university has withstood crapstorm after crapstorm like the Vols. Even now, the wrath of the NCAA continues to rain down, threatening to punish the program for its many (alleged) sins, especially those of the serpent Kiffin.
 
#62
#62
My brother sent this to me today.. so i thought i would share it here with the volnation : )

SEC Programs as Biblical Figures

Alabama - King Solomon. No matter what you have, what you accomplish, or who you become, he will insist on topping you regardless of the costs involved or who he has to step on to get there. The Old Testament Law only allowed for one wife. Solomon claimed 300. Many authorities dispute that number. Obviously 299 of them decided to transfer due to ‘medical conditions’. His 700 concubines received Grayshirts, hoping to eventually move up to wife status.

Arkansas - Moses. Wandering around up there in the wilderness/Ozarks searching for the Promised Land of an SEC Title. There's a good chance all the current followers will be dead before they actually get there.

Auburn - Judas Iscariot. One of the original members, but later proved to be deceitful and very untrustworthy. Sold his soul for 30 pieces of silver. After inflation, that comes to about $180,000.

Florida - Satan. Pure evil, incredibly arrogant, an enemy of mankind who leads you to believe he has everything you want your program to be, but will one day be cast into a lake of fire. Great Deceiver who occasionally leads astray even the most righteous. Though it has been said "the Devil wears Prada", he actually wears jean shorts.

Georgia - Job. Once very well off and prosperous while doing things the right way, now going through some very difficult times and relying on faith to carry him. Could come out on the other side better off than ever before.

Kentucky - Jezebel. Spent her entire life worshiping the false god BasketBaal and trying to deter people from the true faith.

LSU - Lot. Flourishing in the heart of Sodom and Gomorrah.

Ole Miss - Cain. Never satisfied with what he has, believes he deserves much more. Carries a mark for past sins, and is jealous of his brother(s).

Mississippi State - Bartholomew. We know he was one of the 12, but we never hear about him and nothing much is ever written of him, though it is presumed he somehow managed to triumph over Satan.

South Carolina - Aaron. Brother of Moses. Assembled all of the riches in a poor area (Columbia) to erect a Golden Calf (Steve Spurrier) for the people to worship.

Tennessee - The Prodigal Son. Lived a prosperous life, but wanted much more. He was willing to sacrifice all morals to live in the bright light of the nation's eyes, even if it meant hiring Lane Kiffin. That life of luxury was not all it cracked up to be, and he fell on hard times. He came crawling back to his roots, begging for forgiveness and a return to a normal life.

Vanderbilt - Apostle Paul. Completely dedicated his life to the true gospel of the university system (academics) and is constantly beaten and abused for it.
 
#63
#63
This was posted yesterday, there was a pretty lengthy discussion about whether it was hilarious or just funny :p
 
#64
#64
This is about SEC programs. The other discussion was about SEC teams. See the difference? ;)
 
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#65
#65
LA Vol said:
UGA and UT might be switched. UGA might consider Dooley the prodigal son, while UT is more Job-like. No university has withstood crapstorm after crapstorm like the Vols. Even now, the wrath of the NCAA continues to rain down, threatening to punish the program for its many (alleged) sins, especially those of the serpent Kiffin.
Click to expand...

I can definitely see the UT=Job argument.

HTML:
 
#70
#70
Nah the author got it spot on for us. We are like the prodigal son. At least this decade.
 
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#71
#71
Volstylexx said:
My brother sent this to me today.. so i thought i would share it here with the volnation : )

SEC Programs as Biblical Figures

Alabama - King Solomon. No matter what you have, what you accomplish, or who you become, he will insist on topping you regardless of the costs involved or who he has to step on to get there. The Old Testament Law only allowed for one wife. Solomon claimed 300. Many authorities dispute that number. Obviously 299 of them decided to transfer due to ‘medical conditions’. His 700 concubines received Grayshirts, hoping to eventually move up to wife status.

Arkansas - Moses. Wandering around up there in the wilderness/Ozarks searching for the Promised Land of an SEC Title. There's a good chance all the current followers will be dead before they actually get there.

Auburn - Judas Iscariot. One of the original members, but later proved to be deceitful and very untrustworthy. Sold his soul for 30 pieces of silver. After inflation, that comes to about $180,000.

Florida - Satan. Pure evil, incredibly arrogant, an enemy of mankind who leads you to believe he has everything you want your program to be, but will one day be cast into a lake of fire. Great Deceiver who occasionally leads astray even the most righteous. Though it has been said "the Devil wears Prada", he actually wears jean shorts.

Georgia - Job. Once very well off and prosperous while doing things the right way, now going through some very difficult times and relying on faith to carry him. Could come out on the other side better off than ever before.

Kentucky - Jezebel. Spent her entire life worshiping the false god BasketBaal and trying to deter people from the true faith.

LSU - Lot. Flourishing in the heart of Sodom and Gomorrah.

Ole Miss - Cain. Never satisfied with what he has, believes he deserves much more. Carries a mark for past sins, and is jealous of his brother(s).

Mississippi State - Bartholomew. We know he was one of the 12, but we never hear about him and nothing much is ever written of him, though it is presumed he somehow managed to triumph over Satan.

South Carolina - Aaron. Brother of Moses. Assembled all of the riches in a poor area (Columbia) to erect a Golden Calf (Steve Spurrier) for the people to worship.

Tennessee - The Prodigal Son. Lived a prosperous life, but wanted much more. He was willing to sacrifice all morals to live in the bright light of the nation's eyes, even if it meant hiring Lane Kiffin. That life of luxury was not all it cracked up to be, and he fell on hard times. He came crawling back to his roots, begging for forgiveness and a return to a normal life.

Vanderbilt - Apostle Paul. Completely dedicated his life to the true gospel of the university system (academics) and is constantly beaten and abused for it.
Click to expand...
Stupid:unsure:
 
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