tonyvolsfan05
Lovely Jennifer Tilly
- Joined
- May 25, 2005
- Messages
- 2,030
- Likes
- 2
Had to edit some of the words here but i think you will get it. SUNDAY: SEC Coaches discuss favorite hangover remedies
recently had a chance to sit down with some current SEC football coaches to discuss which hangover remedies work best for them. We have taken the unedited responses and posted them for our loyal readers.
---
Ed Orgeron:
Wild boys party like hard butts. So wild boys have to have hard-butt hangover remedies. Its everything to the extreme. The next day, I dont drink Gatorade. I funnel it. I dont drink Alka-Seltzer Morning Relief. I crush it up and snort it. I dont swallow BC headache powder, I melt it on a spoon and inject it into my arm. Extreme? Thats just how I roll.
Houston Nutt:
The night before, I like to send drunk text messages. Or as I like to call them, sext messages. They get me all wound up and horny and before I know it, Im making T9-Prediction-love to two or three different media personalities all at once. So the next day, ol Houstons got a little bounce in his step, no matter what.
Phil Fulmer:
I eat at Krystals before I go to bed. Twice. Then I place a pizza order and go to sleep. That way, when the doorbell rings 45 minutes later, I wake up and can be pleasantly surprised with food. One entire pizza later (no sharing), I raid the fridge. Then the neighbors fridge. Then the garbage can. Then the neighbors garbage can.
After that, I usually wake up feeling refreshed and ready to go. But not before a two-hour trip to Waffle House.
Les Miles:
My hangovers arent too bad. You ever seen how high on my head I wear my ballcap? On purpose amigo. I store **** in there. Lots of ****. On a typical drinking night, you might find a 2-liter Aquafina, a six-pack of Vitamin Water, a dozen Chasers, some V8, a fruit basket, and a fat-butt gravity bong. Im always reaching in my hat maybe to eat a banana, maybe to sink a fat gravity rip. Who knows? Not me. I just reach in there and let it surprise me.
Tommy Tuberville:
You seen my frekn ears? Just try and talk to me about noise sensitivity in the morning. With these ****ing skin frisbees on my head, I can hear the next-door neighbors silent farts. I usually go with earplugs, then put on earmuffs, then give my earmuffs earmuffs, then put a towel under my door, then barricade the house, then just pray the ****ing ice cream man stays the hell out of my zip code. Cause my Dumbo-lobes will pick that **** up. And theres nothing worse than waking up with your head pounding and that song from "The Sting" all up in your grill.
Steve Spurrier:
I dont usually get all that drunk. I just keep feeding the shots to Phil. Because I love watching his big sloppy butt strike out all night. Watching Phil try and spit game is like watching Steve Urkel try and play that cool version of himself. Its just awkward for everyone involved. Awkward and hilarious. Because the only "way" Urkel could be cool is "no frekin way." Which is the same response Phil gets from the ladies.
Urban Meyer:
Holy crap. Last year, after the BCS Title game, I got wasted. I mean tore up. Were all set to meet Tressel and the Buckeyes at this Arizona bar. So we both leave at the same time, but of course all the Gators get there 15 minutes earlier. So were all slamming Petron, Tebows taking body shots off dudes, and the whole team is just housed. Within 10 minutes, my whole first string is puking under barstools, Leak is so wasted hes hitting on the dartboard, Tebow cant get past the first round of Male Erotic Photo Hunt, and Im sitting there thinking These guys could probably still beat Ohio State. I, I dont know what happened. The next morning, I wake up Mike Price style next to two butt a$$ naked strippers. And one of em has the BCS Crystal ball wedged between her boob job. Awesome. Once I saw that, I didnt even have a hangover.
Nick Saban:
Aight. I'll break it down for you:
1) It is impossible for Nick Saban to have a hangover. Because Nick Saban can only be in one state at a time. And there isnt enough alcohol in any one state to get Nick Saban drunk.
2) If Nick Saban visits Texas, it is possible for him to get a slight buzz.
3) Not.
I mean, are you frekin kidding me? Hangovers? Hangovers are like periods: for pussies only. You think alchohol affects Nick Saban? Flip you. The only two things that affect Nick Saban are sunrise and sunset.
The one time I went drunk bowling, I rolled a turkey. In the first frame. The one time I went drunk-golfing, I shot a 72. Over 36 holes. The one time I went drunk-coaching, I won. Twice. In the first quarter.
recently had a chance to sit down with some current SEC football coaches to discuss which hangover remedies work best for them. We have taken the unedited responses and posted them for our loyal readers.
---
Ed Orgeron:
Wild boys party like hard butts. So wild boys have to have hard-butt hangover remedies. Its everything to the extreme. The next day, I dont drink Gatorade. I funnel it. I dont drink Alka-Seltzer Morning Relief. I crush it up and snort it. I dont swallow BC headache powder, I melt it on a spoon and inject it into my arm. Extreme? Thats just how I roll.
Houston Nutt:
The night before, I like to send drunk text messages. Or as I like to call them, sext messages. They get me all wound up and horny and before I know it, Im making T9-Prediction-love to two or three different media personalities all at once. So the next day, ol Houstons got a little bounce in his step, no matter what.
Phil Fulmer:
I eat at Krystals before I go to bed. Twice. Then I place a pizza order and go to sleep. That way, when the doorbell rings 45 minutes later, I wake up and can be pleasantly surprised with food. One entire pizza later (no sharing), I raid the fridge. Then the neighbors fridge. Then the garbage can. Then the neighbors garbage can.
After that, I usually wake up feeling refreshed and ready to go. But not before a two-hour trip to Waffle House.
Les Miles:
My hangovers arent too bad. You ever seen how high on my head I wear my ballcap? On purpose amigo. I store **** in there. Lots of ****. On a typical drinking night, you might find a 2-liter Aquafina, a six-pack of Vitamin Water, a dozen Chasers, some V8, a fruit basket, and a fat-butt gravity bong. Im always reaching in my hat maybe to eat a banana, maybe to sink a fat gravity rip. Who knows? Not me. I just reach in there and let it surprise me.
Tommy Tuberville:
You seen my frekn ears? Just try and talk to me about noise sensitivity in the morning. With these ****ing skin frisbees on my head, I can hear the next-door neighbors silent farts. I usually go with earplugs, then put on earmuffs, then give my earmuffs earmuffs, then put a towel under my door, then barricade the house, then just pray the ****ing ice cream man stays the hell out of my zip code. Cause my Dumbo-lobes will pick that **** up. And theres nothing worse than waking up with your head pounding and that song from "The Sting" all up in your grill.
Steve Spurrier:
I dont usually get all that drunk. I just keep feeding the shots to Phil. Because I love watching his big sloppy butt strike out all night. Watching Phil try and spit game is like watching Steve Urkel try and play that cool version of himself. Its just awkward for everyone involved. Awkward and hilarious. Because the only "way" Urkel could be cool is "no frekin way." Which is the same response Phil gets from the ladies.
Urban Meyer:
Holy crap. Last year, after the BCS Title game, I got wasted. I mean tore up. Were all set to meet Tressel and the Buckeyes at this Arizona bar. So we both leave at the same time, but of course all the Gators get there 15 minutes earlier. So were all slamming Petron, Tebows taking body shots off dudes, and the whole team is just housed. Within 10 minutes, my whole first string is puking under barstools, Leak is so wasted hes hitting on the dartboard, Tebow cant get past the first round of Male Erotic Photo Hunt, and Im sitting there thinking These guys could probably still beat Ohio State. I, I dont know what happened. The next morning, I wake up Mike Price style next to two butt a$$ naked strippers. And one of em has the BCS Crystal ball wedged between her boob job. Awesome. Once I saw that, I didnt even have a hangover.
Nick Saban:
Aight. I'll break it down for you:
1) It is impossible for Nick Saban to have a hangover. Because Nick Saban can only be in one state at a time. And there isnt enough alcohol in any one state to get Nick Saban drunk.
2) If Nick Saban visits Texas, it is possible for him to get a slight buzz.
3) Not.
I mean, are you frekin kidding me? Hangovers? Hangovers are like periods: for pussies only. You think alchohol affects Nick Saban? Flip you. The only two things that affect Nick Saban are sunrise and sunset.
The one time I went drunk bowling, I rolled a turkey. In the first frame. The one time I went drunk-golfing, I shot a 72. Over 36 holes. The one time I went drunk-coaching, I won. Twice. In the first quarter.
hmy:
