Ruby Whitehorn dismissed from the team!

[Skooter]

You can’t have a leader in the locker room if there’s a chance in a few weeks a freshman will be in the car next time with her and you can’t guarantee that won’t happen with her decision making. You also cant tell freshman hey it’s fine if you are arrested and suspended and arrested again a few weeks later.

 

[StorrsCentral]

Ruby has no one to blame but herself. She was given a new least on basketball life when Kim brought her back to the team after the first incident. I'm sure that Kim told her that all eyes would be on her and that she had to walk the straight and narrow. Of course, I don't know why the car was stopped but she had to know that she was risking her freedom by being in that situation. Kim is building the program back up to the old Tennessee standards, so any missteps could hurt what she is trying to accomplish. I give her credit for doing what she had to do. Ruby has a problem, maybe not a drug problem, but a social problem. She did not take the first incident seriously as a warning, so in a very immature way she did not adhere to what Kim probably told her. She needs help, and transferring will not solve the problem if she doesn't get professional help. Life these days is just getting harder, so if help is out there and offered, she should take it, whether it is in Tennessee or else ware.

 

[LadyOrange]

Ruby has no one to blame but herself. She was given a new least on basketball life when Kim brought her back to the team after the first incident. I'm sure that Kim told her that all eyes would be on her and that she had to walk the straight and narrow. Of course, I don't know why the car was stopped but she had to know that she was risking her freedom by being in that situation. Kim is building the program back up to the old Tennessee standards, so any missteps could hurt what she is trying to accomplish. I give her credit for doing what she had to do. Ruby has a problem, maybe not a drug problem, but a social problem. She did not take the first incident seriously as a warning, so in a very immature way she did not adhere to what Kim probably told her. She needs help, and transferring will not solve the problem if she doesn't get professional help. Life these days is just getting harder, so if help is out there and offered, she should take it, whether it is in Tennessee or else ware.

I think assigning blame is not helpful. I love how Kim addressed the situation. "I love Ruby, but we have a standard to uphold." As so often is the case, many people fail to realize that there is a good possibility that there is an issue driving her behavior, one that is not malicious. That's all that needs to be said.

 

[LadyOrange]

No we don't and that it is even more reason for people to tread lightly on the "Good riddance; She got what she deserved" condemnations.

Her Instagram post suggest a very regretful and confused young women.

Some people gleefully, chest pounded "BYE" as these events unfolded and they could use some life reflection themselves.

I wonder why people feel the need to blame and be harsh.

 

[LadyOrange]

The 4 or 5 years out was a quote from Maria’s 247 article, a transcription of Kim’s press conference earlier today.

I believe someone posted the quote already.

 

[madtownvol]

I didn’t interpret it that way at all. What I interpreted was that she understands her actions now affect the program in 4-5 years. If you tolerate behavior like that now in year 1-2 you’re going to regret it in 4-5 when you have half your team acting like that because they think it’s ok and there were no consequences in the past.

It’s about setting a standard and she did that. Unfortunately Ruby made an example out of herself.

That is the implication I took from her statement as well. She was protecting the long term integrity of the program.

 

[Rickster]

I wonder why people feel the need to blame and be harsh.

Because they are a UConn fan?

 

[krichunaka]

"Bye", "its over" and "bad apple" I suppose could be interpreted in many ways but let's just say that is a cryptic way to express "heartbreak."

From: post #12 of "Ruby Whitehorn" thread, 25 September.
"And, I'll speculate (hopefully not a first for this board) that that - heartbreak - is what led to this."

When I used that word, it was with the intent, based on my own personal experience(s) from decades ago, to suggest that a romantic breakup might have played a wicked role; nothing more, nothing less. I was neither trying to make excuses, nor establish guilt. I apologize for any ambiguity.

Oh, and I'm simply not smart enough to be cryptic.

Cheers!

P S - FWIW, (and setting aside your "friendly interactions" with Coach Jumper) I consider these last few days among your best-EVER postings.

 

[Vols14!]

I think anyone who believes in a higher power should send up some prayers for Ruby, Ruby's mother, Kim and the Lady Vols, because this is gonna need some "extra" from everyone. No matter the eventual outcome, this is a tough moment.

So sad! Tough indeed.

 

[madtownvol]

From: post #12 of "Ruby Whitehorn" thread, 25 September.
"And, I'll speculate (hopefully not a first for this board) that that - heartbreak - is what led to this."

When I used that word, it was with the intent, based on my own personal experience(s) from decades ago, to suggest that a romantic breakup might have played a wicked role; nothing more, nothing less. I was neither trying to make excuses, nor establish guilt. I apologize for any ambiguity.

Oh, and I'm simply not smart enough to be cryptic.

Cheers!

P S - FWIW, (and setting aside your "friendly interactions" with Coach Jumper) I consider these last few days among your best-EVER postings.

Hi Krich, I assure you that I was not referring to you in the post you quoted from me.

 

[BruisedOrange]

In CKC's statement, I think it's important for us outsiders to note that she said, “In light of recent events, Ruby has been unable to reflect those standards..." She didn't say unwilling. Unable.

In Ruby's released statement, she identifies her immediate issue. "I’m not usually one to open up about my personal life or challenges, and that is part of the reason I am in this position today. For the past couple of months, I have walked by fear and not faith. Fear of asking for help, for guidance, fear of failure."

If you've ever been an athlete, or worked with athletes, you understand the first step in becoming an athlete is the mentality to just push through. We learn--and it's demanded of us by our coaches--to push through the pain whether it's running, lifting weights, or mental fatigue.

Of course, the challenge to coaches and parents is that sometimes the pain is from an injury. Maybe the third step in becoming an athlete is--ironically--learning to listen to your body, learning the difference between "push-through" pain and "cease-doing-this" pain. I have a precious friend, medically trained, who (because mental toughness had been the key to overcoming incredible difficulties in her own life) sent her son back onto the court to finish the game when he came out with foot pain. (As she tells the story, with appropriate humility, "Well, turned out his foot was broken. But he did score 4 more points and had 3 rebounds, and they won!")

What teen or young adult has the life perspective to apply these lessons to their mental pain and mental health? Their young lives (and maybe support system) have taught them to just push through it, stay focused on basketball and classes, and this will go away.

It's not hard to imagine that everything in Ruby that helped her become a talented athlete--pushing through pain, mental toughness, and especially self reliance--would work against her if she was dealing with a mental or emotional injury. But you can't know if you indeed have an injury until you bring it to the attention of a medical professional.
------
I have no idea what Ruby's church experiences have been, but we do know that people gravitate to churches that reflect their personal values. If you take a hard nosed approach to life, you're probably going to gravitate toward a church or pastor who stresses God's standards over mercy and grace. [spoiler alert: God values all three, together] Those kinds of ministries offer a strong but rigid exoskeleton in support of one's standards-based values. But exoskeletons notoriously allow inner conflicts and injuries to fester, grow, and spread, unseen, until they break through that outer shell--usually uncontrolled.

It's tough and scary to confess your failures or weaknesses without the assurance that there's grace and mercy and un-earnable love waiting to listen to your story and walk with you to its eventual reconcilliation.

 

[madtownvol]

In CKC's statement, I think it's important for us outsiders to note that she said, “In light of recent events, Ruby has been unable to reflect those standards..." She didn't say unwilling. Unable.

In Ruby's released statement, she identifies her immediate issue. "I’m not usually one to open up about my personal life or challenges, and that is part of the reason I am in this position today. For the past couple of months, I have walked by fear and not faith. Fear of asking for help, for guidance, fear of failure."

If you've ever been an athlete, or worked with athletes, you understand the first step in becoming an athlete is the mentality to just push through. We learn--and it's demanded of us by our coaches--to push through the pain whether it's running, lifting weights, or mental fatigue.

Of course, the challenge to coaches and parents is that sometimes the pain is from an injury. Maybe the third step in becoming an athlete is--ironically--learning to listen to your body, learning the difference between "push-through" pain and "cease-doing-this" pain. I have a precious friend, medically trained, who (because mental toughness had been the key to overcoming incredible difficulties in her own life) sent her son back onto the court to finish the game when he came out with foot pain. (As she tells the story, with appropriate humility, "Well, turned out his foot was broken. But he did score 4 more points and had 3 rebounds, and they won!)

But what teen or young adult has the life perspective to apply these lessons to their mental pain and mental health? Their young lives (and maybe support system) have taught them to just push through it, stay focused on basketball and classes, and this will go away."

It's not hard to imagine that everything in Ruby that helped her become a talented athlete--pushing through pain, mental toughness, and especially self reliance--would work against her if she was dealing with a mental or emotional injury. But you can't know if you indeed have an injury until you bring it to the attention of a medical professional.
------
I have no idea what Ruby's church experiences have been, but we do know that people gravitate to churches that reflect their personal values. If you take a hard nosed approach to life, you're probably going to gravitate toward a church or pastor who stresses God's standards over mercy and grace. [spoiler alert: God values all three, together] Those kinds of ministries offer a strong but rigid exoskeleton in support of one's standards-based values. But exoskeletons notoriously allow inner conflicts and injuries to fester, grow, and spread, unseen, until they break through that outer shell--usually uncontrolled.

It's tough and scary to confess your failures or weaknesses without the assurance that there's grace and mercy and un-earnable love waiting to listen to your story and walk with you to its eventual reconcilliation.

That is a beautiful post!!!

I truly hate when sports announcers and coaches talk about a player being "tough" when they play through injuries (or say, "well that must be really bad"-- when a player comes off--because that player is as tough as they come!!!"

That phrasing makes it seems like a sign of weakness if a player does not play through an injury. A lot of athletes have suffered permanent brain injuries, Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE), owing to that philosophy. These same people will pay lip service to player safety and the idea that health is more important than a game when a player suffers a catastrophic injury, because there is no "choice" to be made, while encouraging all other athletes to play through less severe injuries which can still have cumulative long term negative consequences.

I think you 100% correct that this conditioning of athletes to be tough carries over to their mental and emotional states.

 

[madtownvol]

Why not? When I was 21. I was working full time and not drinking or doing drugs. Its not that hard to do. Quit making excuses. She has been given more opportunities than most and chose to be selfish. She got what she deserved.

Not everyone can be a saint like you. I am sure when you were 21, you never got into a heated argument, violated any rules whatsoever, never drove above the speed limit, or disobeyed a parent or teacher in the slightest way.

For the rest of us mere mortals, we have stresses, mental health issues, bad habits formed over the course of life that can lead to less than ideal choices, I know for you, as a Saint above all human frailties, such imperfections are very hard to understand but I bet if you took a poll on this board between I have made mistakes in my life and I have never made a mistake in my life, the "I have made" group would be the vast majority.

For the record, Ruby has been disciplined so she is facing accountability,. It is just a question of whether that discipline is meted out with compassion or contempt.

I am a bit surprised that a Saint, such as yourself, is so willing to harshly judge someone you do not know.

 

[chuckiepoo]

Not everyone can be a saint like you. I am sure when you were 21, you never got into a heated argument, violated any rules whatsoever, never drove above the speed limit, or disobeyed a parent or teacher in the slightest way.

For the rest of us mere mortals, we have stresses, mental health issues, bad habits formed over the course of life that can lead to less than ideal choices, I know for you, as a Saint above all human frailties, such imperfections are very hard to understand but I bet if you took a poll on this board between I have made mistakes in my life and I have never made a mistake in my life, the "I have made" group would be the vast majority.

For the record, Ruby has been disciplined so she is facing accountability,. It is just a question of whether that discipline is meted out with compassion or contempt.

I will say that I am surprised that a Saint, such as yourself, is so willing to harshly judge someone you do not know.

He made at least one, had a tranny trick him:

“Why, you ain’t no Daisy at all.”

Never allow a tranny to trick you…

 

[madtownvol]

He made at least one, had a tranny trick him:

“Why, you ain’t no Daisy at all.”
…

 

[knoxvol52]

Why not? When I was 21. I was working full time and not drinking or doing drugs. Its not that hard to do. Quit making excuses. She has been given more opportunities than most and chose to be selfish. She got what she deserved.

just kidding or am I?

 

[BigOrangeCrush32]

View attachment 787289 just kidding or am I?

 

[BigOrangeCrush32]

Not everyone can be a saint like you. I am sure when you were 21, you never got into a heated argument, violated any rules whatsoever, never drove above the speed limit, or disobeyed a parent or teacher in the slightest way.

For the rest of us mere mortals, we have stresses, mental health issues, bad habits formed over the course of life that can lead to less than ideal choices, I know for you, as a Saint above all human frailties, such imperfections are very hard to understand but I bet if you took a poll on this board between I have made mistakes in my life and I have never made a mistake in my life, the "I have made" group would be the vast majority.

For the record, Ruby has been disciplined so she is facing accountability,. It is just a question of whether that discipline is meted out with compassion or contempt.

I am a bit surprised that a Saint, such as yourself, is so willing to harshly judge someone you do not know.

Sure i did, but I never BROKE THE LAW once and especially not TWICE. Its easy to NOT break the law.

 

[WaywardVol]

I wish Ruby the best and I hope she is able to heal and overcome whatever she’s struggling with. From everything I’d heard she is a good person and teammate. I’ll continue to hope her new path in life is good to her and she finds the peace she’s looking for.

Recover from what? Why are we kid gloving these paid athletes? Why does continued misbehavior from a player have to be something outside themself, afflicting them?? Isn’t it possible that she’s a person making selfish, irresponsible decision?? In other words, stupidity?

 

[cabbie191]

I bet if you took a poll on this board between I have made mistakes in my life and I have never made a mistake in my life, the "I have made" group would be the vast majority.

I’m casting my vote: I have made lots and lots of mistakes in my life.

For the record, my wife is a Lutheran pastor. One of the things she emphasizes in her preaching is that we are all, simultaneously, sinner and saint.

 

[dtnvol]

Recover from what? Why are we kid gloving these paid athletes? Why does continued misbehavior from a player have to be something outside themself, afflicting them?? Isn’t it possible that she’s a person making selfish, irresponsible decision?? In other words, stupidity?

You know, no disrespect...[ many of us speak from our own life experiences without being able to understand those of others]...Being a paid young athlete, doesn't mean you are automatically freed from the pressures and mental aspects of life...It's not about how much money you make or future royalties...Life can throw some many unseen difficulties on experienced OLDER people to overcome its' challenges...so just imagine how so many young people have so much weighing on them and don't have life experiences there to help possibly pull them out...I don't really know what Ruby is really dealing with, but I do know she seemed to love being a LV...Maybe I'm wrong about all of this, but hours before her doom, she seemed so happy on the floor and bench when they played Columbus State...We all need helping prayers, even when it seems life is going great for us...Stay strong Ruby ...LVFL

 

[Mafiaboss]

Recover from what? Why are we kid gloving these paid athletes? Why does continued misbehavior from a player have to be something outside themself, afflicting them?? Isn’t it possible that she’s a person making selfish, irresponsible decision?? In other words, stupidity?

I doubt it.

 

[cabbie191]

Sure i did, but I never BROKE THE LAW once and especially not TWICE. Its easy to NOT break the law.

Never drove and went over the speed limit, or parked even temporarily in a no-parking zone? Or crossed a city road other than in a marked crosswalk?

Normally I would say highly unlikely but for several years I carpooled to work (15 mile ride) with a co-worker who was the most cautious driver I have ever known. I don’t think she ever even got up to the speed limit much less exceed it.

So I will give you credit for being a better citizen than I.

 

[Mafiaboss]

Recover from what? Why are we kid gloving these paid athletes? Why does continued misbehavior from a player have to be something outside themself, afflicting them?? Isn’t it possible that she’s a person making selfish, irresponsible decision?? In other words, stupidity?

I’m not going to document here every time a Lady Vol had personal problems such as depression, etc., but believe me, it happened and happens, and the behaviors resulting from the emotional problems were consequential. Guess what Pat Summit did? She sat down with each player and talked to each one like a caring parent would. One frequent thing said by her was, “Player’s name, you had a bad day. It was just a bad day.”

I know for a fact that MANY Lady Vols got several chances.

 

[Lucy]

He made at least one, had a tranny trick him:

“Why, you ain’t no Daisy at all.”

Never allow a tranny to trick you…

Hey CPoo you know that’s a pretty vile pejorative right?