Rod Wilks' Impression on Dooley

#76
#76
I once ran into Rod Wilks on campus and I asked him how his day was going, he responded: "I just got back from saving a group of orphans from a burning bus in South Africa, delivering siamese twins in Taiwan, and giving a blind man sight in Peru." It was not yet noon.
 
#78
#78
PoochPunt3rdDown said:
A guy walked into a plastic surgeon's office and asked if he could see the Doctor about getting a penis extension.

The nurse smiled and said, "You mean you want your Rod Wilks-ed, right?"

He smiled back and said, "What's a Rod Wilks?"

She laughed and shook her head, at this man's obvious ignorance. So, she went back into the office and came back with the model of the "Rod Wilks-ed".

In gape-jawed awe the man could only mutter, "Yup, that's what I'm lookin' to have".

The next day he came back for the surgery. He got his Rod Wilks-ed and as he was leaving, the nurse handed him her number and said, "Call me anytime".

Later that day, he did. They consummated their relationship 3 nights later, she immediately got pregnant and bore him 14 healthy children 4 months later... The End
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Sounds more like she got Travis Henry-ed.......
 
#80
#80
BloodRUNZOrange said:
i wonder if rod wilks realize his stardom on this site haha
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I've heard that he does, and thinks it's great. Why wouldn't he? It's really about some random dude that pumped him up like he was the second coming of Willie Gault, and then it turned into this....

I personally believe that Rod Wilks not only likes what we do here, he predicted it would happen when he came to the Earth a long, long time ago....
 
#85
#85
Who was the original Rod Wilks promoter?

And I had completely forgotten about the toy gun incident.....
 
#86
#86
Seriously...

Rod Wilks is 220lbs and super fast. In between fighting Chuck Norris and creating new galaxies, is there any way he could help us with our Linebacker depth, or is he too busy?
 
#89
#89
Capn Jack said:
Seriously...

Rod Wilks is 220lbs and super fast. In between fighting Chuck Norris and creating new galaxies, is there any way he could help us with our Linebacker depth, or is he too busy?
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In all seriousness i think people are freaking out about our linebacker depth.... we are fine at LB, we had a lot of injuries last year that took our deph down to the bones. Rod The Bod has the best shot at starting along side JJ next year at the SS spot. He's fast enough to cover and big enough to flat out kill someone.

P.S. Rod was the first to hear of the bird, and is the one that started the word.....
 
#93
#93
TNsnyper20 said:
In all seriousness i think people are freaking out about our linebacker depth.... we are fine at LB, we had a lot of injuries last year that took our deph down to the bones. Rod The Bod has the best shot at starting along side JJ next year at the SS spot. He's fast enough to cover and big enough to flat out kill someone.

P.S. Rod was the first to hear of the bird, and is the one that started the word.....
Click to expand...

Here's the scene from Family Guy as I imagine it...

Scene:

Rod Wilks descends from the top of the screen into the Griffin family room in his full UT football uniform and holding his helmet, while the family is watching TV...


Peter: "Uhhhhh, who the hell are you and how did you get to be soooo good looking?"

Rod: "Peter, it's me Rod, Rods Wilks?", Peyton Manning will provide Rod's Voice...

Peter: "Well, I've never heard of any, my word your muscles are like… sorry, any Rod Wilks before.", and then blinks.


At this point Brian rares back and punches Peter right in the nose and knocks him on the ground. Peter lands face down with one arm behind his back and blood pools near his face


Peter: "Whyyyyyy, whyyyyyy, whyyyyyy did you do that, Brian?"

Brian: "Well, uuuuhhhh, I, I, I just...... don't know!"

Peter: "Whyyyyy, whyyyyyy, whyyyyy?", he continues to cry.

Rod Wilks looks at the “camera” shaking his head and then looks back at Peter.

Rod: “Sit up, my Peter!”

Peter: “Sure thing, my Rod. So why did you grace us with the pleasure of seeing your rock hard abs and fists of thunder, today, Rod Wilks?”

Rod: "You mean you haven't heard?"

Peter: "About what Rod Wilks?", he says calmly with a smile.

Rod: "Well I created this (and Rod holds up a bird) and I need someone to spread the word".

Peter: "Oh yeah, well who will spread the word about the....?"

Rod: "Spread the word about the bird, Peter".

Meg: "I'll do it!"

Everyone: "Shut up Meg!!!"

And then Brian slaps her.

Brian: "Heh, heh, heh, Knooooooow why I did it that time."


Everyone laughs. Meg sits up and then Rod Wilks slaps her with his mind rays!


Peter: "So, what you're telling me is that the "bird" is the "word" you'd like me to spread for you, Rod?"

Rod: “Yes, Peter, that’s exactly what I meant to tell you. Now, I’m going upstairs to take a nap. Spreading the word about the bird is quietly exhausting, Goodbye.” Rod mounts the stairs and continues up them and then says, “Lois, you coming?"

Lois: "Why of course, Rod! (and then laughs that Lois laugh) I can call you Rod, right?"

Rod: "You'll be calling me more than that soon enough, Lois."


They retreat upstairs.

Peter shrugs his shoulders and says, "Hmmmm". He says it like it ain’t no thang….

And here begins the dance of Peter doing "The Bird is the Word", while Brian looks at the screen with half-closed eyes in disbelief and resignation.

The End :)
 
#95
#95
PoochPunt3rdDown said:
Here's the scene from Family Guy as I imagine it...

Scene:

Rod Wilks descends from the top of the screen into the Griffin family room in his full UT football uniform and holding his helmet, while the family is watching TV...


Peter: "Uhhhhh, who the hell are you and how did you get to be soooo good looking?"

Rod: "Peter, it's me Rod, Rods Wilks?", Peyton Manning will provide Rod's Voice...

Peter: "Well, I've never heard of any, my word your muscles are like… sorry, any Rod Wilks before.", and then blinks.


At this point Brian rares back and punches Peter right in the nose and knocks him on the ground. Peter lands face down with one arm behind his back and blood pools near his face


Peter: "Whyyyyyy, whyyyyyy, whyyyyyy did you do that, Brian?"

Brian: "Well, uuuuhhhh, I, I, I just...... don't know!"

Peter: "Whyyyyy, whyyyyyy, whyyyyy?", he continues to cry.

Rod Wilks looks at the “camera” shaking his head and then looks back at Peter.

Rod: “Sit up, my Peter!”

Peter: “Sure thing, my Rod. So why did you grace us with the pleasure of seeing your rock hard abs and fists of thunder, today, Rod Wilks?”

Rod: "You mean you haven't heard?"

Peter: "About what Rod Wilks?", he says calmly with a smile.

Rod: "Well I created this (and Rod holds up a bird) and I need someone to spread the word".

Peter: "Oh yeah, well who will spread the word about the....?"

Rod: "Spread the word about the bird, Peter".

Meg: "I'll do it!"

Everyone: "Shut up Meg!!!"

And then Brian slaps her.

Brian: "Heh, heh, heh, Knooooooow why I did it that time."


Everyone laughs. Meg sits up and then Rod Wilks slaps her with his mind rays!


Peter: "So, what you're telling me is that the "bird" is the "word" you'd like me to spread for you, Rod?"

Rod: “Yes, Peter, that’s exactly what I meant to tell you. Now, I’m going upstairs to take a nap. Spreading the word about the bird is quietly exhausting, Goodbye.” Rod mounts the stairs and continues up them and then says, “Lois, you coming?"

Lois: "Why of course, Rod! (and then laughs that Lois laugh) I can call you Rod, right?"

Rod: "You'll be calling me more than that soon enough, Lois."


They retreat upstairs.

Peter shrugs his shoulders and says, "Hmmmm". He says it like it ain’t no thang….

And here begins the dance of Peter doing "The Bird is the Word", while Brian looks at the screen with half-closed eyes in disbelief and resignation.

The End :)
Click to expand...

I'm not sure if this means you have a great imagination or way way way too much free time on your hands and you need some lovely lady action. Either way, Pick Up My Poop!
 
#97
#97
PoochPunt3rdDown said:
Here's the scene from Family Guy as I imagine it...

Scene:

Rod Wilks descends from the top of the screen into the Griffin family room in his full UT football uniform and holding his helmet, while the family is watching TV...


Peter: "Uhhhhh, who the hell are you and how did you get to be soooo good looking?"

Rod: "Peter, it's me Rod, Rods Wilks?", Peyton Manning will provide Rod's Voice...

Peter: "Well, I've never heard of any, my word your muscles are like… sorry, any Rod Wilks before.", and then blinks.


At this point Brian rares back and punches Peter right in the nose and knocks him on the ground. Peter lands face down with one arm behind his back and blood pools near his face


Peter: "Whyyyyyy, whyyyyyy, whyyyyyy did you do that, Brian?"

Brian: "Well, uuuuhhhh, I, I, I just...... don't know!"

Peter: "Whyyyyy, whyyyyyy, whyyyyy?", he continues to cry.

Rod Wilks looks at the “camera” shaking his head and then looks back at Peter.

Rod: “Sit up, my Peter!”

Peter: “Sure thing, my Rod. So why did you grace us with the pleasure of seeing your rock hard abs and fists of thunder, today, Rod Wilks?”

Rod: "You mean you haven't heard?"

Peter: "About what Rod Wilks?", he says calmly with a smile.

Rod: "Well I created this (and Rod holds up a bird) and I need someone to spread the word".

Peter: "Oh yeah, well who will spread the word about the....?"

Rod: "Spread the word about the bird, Peter".

Meg: "I'll do it!"

Everyone: "Shut up Meg!!!"

And then Brian slaps her.

Brian: "Heh, heh, heh, Knooooooow why I did it that time."


Everyone laughs. Meg sits up and then Rod Wilks slaps her with his mind rays!


Peter: "So, what you're telling me is that the "bird" is the "word" you'd like me to spread for you, Rod?"

Rod: “Yes, Peter, that’s exactly what I meant to tell you. Now, I’m going upstairs to take a nap. Spreading the word about the bird is quietly exhausting, Goodbye.” Rod mounts the stairs and continues up them and then says, “Lois, you coming?"

Lois: "Why of course, Rod! (and then laughs that Lois laugh) I can call you Rod, right?"

Rod: "You'll be calling me more than that soon enough, Lois."


They retreat upstairs.

Peter shrugs his shoulders and says, "Hmmmm". He says it like it ain’t no thang….

And here begins the dance of Peter doing "The Bird is the Word", while Brian looks at the screen with half-closed eyes in disbelief and resignation.

The End :)
Click to expand...

Thats how I remember it.:yes:
 
#99
#99
PoochPunt3rdDown said:
Here's the scene from Family Guy as I imagine it...

Scene:

Rod Wilks descends from the top of the screen into the Griffin family room in his full UT football uniform and holding his helmet, while the family is watching TV...


Peter: "Uhhhhh, who the hell are you and how did you get to be soooo good looking?"

Rod: "Peter, it's me Rod, Rods Wilks?", Peyton Manning will provide Rod's Voice...

Peter: "Well, I've never heard of any, my word your muscles are like… sorry, any Rod Wilks before.", and then blinks.


At this point Brian rares back and punches Peter right in the nose and knocks him on the ground. Peter lands face down with one arm behind his back and blood pools near his face


Peter: "Whyyyyyy, whyyyyyy, whyyyyyy did you do that, Brian?"

Brian: "Well, uuuuhhhh, I, I, I just...... don't know!"

Peter: "Whyyyyy, whyyyyyy, whyyyyy?", he continues to cry.

Rod Wilks looks at the “camera” shaking his head and then looks back at Peter.

Rod: “Sit up, my Peter!”

Peter: “Sure thing, my Rod. So why did you grace us with the pleasure of seeing your rock hard abs and fists of thunder, today, Rod Wilks?”

Rod: "You mean you haven't heard?"

Peter: "About what Rod Wilks?", he says calmly with a smile.

Rod: "Well I created this (and Rod holds up a bird) and I need someone to spread the word".

Peter: "Oh yeah, well who will spread the word about the....?"

Rod: "Spread the word about the bird, Peter".

Meg: "I'll do it!"

Everyone: "Shut up Meg!!!"

And then Brian slaps her.

Brian: "Heh, heh, heh, Knooooooow why I did it that time."


Everyone laughs. Meg sits up and then Rod Wilks slaps her with his mind rays!


Peter: "So, what you're telling me is that the "bird" is the "word" you'd like me to spread for you, Rod?"

Rod: “Yes, Peter, that’s exactly what I meant to tell you. Now, I’m going upstairs to take a nap. Spreading the word about the bird is quietly exhausting, Goodbye.” Rod mounts the stairs and continues up them and then says, “Lois, you coming?"

Lois: "Why of course, Rod! (and then laughs that Lois laugh) I can call you Rod, right?"

Rod: "You'll be calling me more than that soon enough, Lois."


They retreat upstairs.

Peter shrugs his shoulders and says, "Hmmmm". He says it like it ain’t no thang….

And here begins the dance of Peter doing "The Bird is the Word", while Brian looks at the screen with half-closed eyes in disbelief and resignation.

The End :)
Click to expand...

That's pretty good writing.
 
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