Random Thoughts XXXIII

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#8,807
#8,807
I've decided to make a genuine attempt to stop staying drunk every night. Its been a rough few months and I'm afraid I've lost the degree of control I had managed to gain over it. Cyclops passing has me pretty rattled and Weezer has made me do some thinking lately. I've been drunk just one night out of the past five nights. I know its just a very very small step in a healthier direction and I do not consider it to be any form of triumph by no means, because I've been slipping in anotther way the last couple nights. I just don't want to be a drunk anymore. The people who love me deserve better than that, and there aren't any excuses any more
 
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#8,808
#8,808
apevol said:
I've decided to make a genuine attempt to stop staying drunk every night. Its been a rough few months and I'm afraid I've lost the degree of control I had managed to gain over it. Cyclops passing has me pretty rattled and Weezer has made me do some thinking lately. I've been drunk just one night out of the past five nights. I know its just a very very small step in a healthier direction and I do not consider it to be any form of triumph by no means, because I've been slipping in anotther way the last couple nights. I just don't want to be a drunk anymore. The people who love me deserve better than that, and there aren't any excuses any more
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I'm praying for you man, you can beat this. I want many more years of you on here having fun. Cut back, and exercise it'll make you feel better. I'm not saying any of this like I'm better. I've had a pill problem when I was younger, felt like a zombie for a year. Becoming a Christian changed me, and I've used that experience to help others. I'm not say that pushing religion at you, its just what helped me. Do whatever you have to to to get healthier my friend.
 
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#8,809
#8,809
joevol33 said:
I'm praying for you man, you can beat this. I want many more years of you on here having fun. Cut back, and exercise it'll make you feel better. I'm not saying any of this like I'm better. I've had a pill problem when I was younger, felt like a zombie for a year. Becoming a Christian changed me, and I've used that experience to help others. I'm not say that pushing religion at you, its just what helped me. Do whatever you have to to to get healthier my friend.
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Thanks, Joe. I had for a long time changed my life almost 180. I still drank, but it was just a couple or three times in a month that id get drunk. There was no drugs at all for a good while and everything about my mind set was changing and I was healthy, very active, and getting strong. I'm definitely going to be back to long distance hiking and backpacking and maybe even some cannooing.

There's a few very important people I must sit down and talk to, in order to clear the air and do what I can to mend things up.

I'm not into religion at all and nothing 'spiritual' in a faith type sense really does anything for me. I'm content to know that I comprehend very little and that its very possible that there is nothing more to life than what can be observed, classified, and perhaps eventually be explained preternaturally. I also realize that there may be divers divine or supernatural, metaphysical realities that I cannot account for. I'm open to anything, but just haven't seemed to find much of anything that sticks in my heart.
 
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#8,810
#8,810
apevol said:
I've decided to make a genuine attempt to stop staying drunk every night. Its been a rough few months and I'm afraid I've lost the degree of control I had managed to gain over it. Cyclops passing has me pretty rattled and Weezer has made me do some thinking lately. I've been drunk just one night out of the past five nights. I know its just a very very small step in a healthier direction and I do not consider it to be any form of triumph by no means, because I've been slipping in anotther way the last couple nights. I just don't want to be a drunk anymore. The people who love me deserve better than that, and there aren't any excuses any more
Click to expand...
Wow!!! I'm praying for you ape!! You can do it I know you can. I've stayed drunk every night for a while now. I know I'll feel like hell the next day but it puts me to sleep and helps me forget some things for a while. After the 24 the other day I hadn't touched it since. Stay strong ape and if you need me just yell. Friends stick together man and can overcome anything no matter how bad it gets.
 
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#8,812
#8,812
apevol said:
I've decided to make a genuine attempt to stop staying drunk every night. Its been a rough few months and I'm afraid I've lost the degree of control I had managed to gain over it. Cyclops passing has me pretty rattled and Weezer has made me do some thinking lately. I've been drunk just one night out of the past five nights. I know its just a very very small step in a healthier direction and I do not consider it to be any form of triumph by no means, because I've been slipping in anotther way the last couple nights. I just don't want to be a drunk anymore. The people who love me deserve better than that, and there aren't any excuses any more
Click to expand...
Been there buddy, small steps are steps nonetheless, keep it up.

I was drunk 4-5 nights a week for a long time, it took a while to get over it, but now getting a buzz is something that I do for fun once in a while, as opposed to doing something for the sake of doing it. My health and overall feeling is much better, and as a side effect I lost about 40lbs just by being more active & productive with my time outside of work.

It's a process, and not an easy one, but if you're like me and have a hard time stopping at 4 beers you'll notice positive changes in your day to day life rather quickly.
 
#8,814
#8,814
apevol said:
I've decided to make a genuine attempt to stop staying drunk every night. Its been a rough few months and I'm afraid I've lost the degree of control I had managed to gain over it. Cyclops passing has me pretty rattled and Weezer has made me do some thinking lately. I've been drunk just one night out of the past five nights. I know its just a very very small step in a healthier direction and I do not consider it to be any form of triumph by no means, because I've been slipping in anotther way the last couple nights. I just don't want to be a drunk anymore. The people who love me deserve better than that, and there aren't any excuses any more
Click to expand...

My fingers are crossed and I'm praying that you can reach/maintain your goals.
 
#8,819
#8,819
BadJerry20 said:
Ape, do you need me to be your black Jesus and help guide you on your journeys?
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My preternatural senses told me I was needed. I'm here.

Ape, I sent you my number. Seriously, if you want to talk, I'm here. Wicker, same for you. If I can help anybody, I will. And don't think me being ill means I can't talk. Helping others helps me too. Anything positive is good. I needed a day or two to decompress after reading about CK and his cause of death. It caused a temporary meltdown. But I'm doing better.
 
#8,820
#8,820
Weezer said:
My preternatural senses told me I was needed. I'm here.

Ape, I sent you my number. Seriously, if you want to talk, I'm here. Wicker, same for you. If I can help anybody, I will. And don't think me being ill means I can't talk. Helping others helps me too. Anything positive is good. I needed a day or two to decompress after reading about CK and his cause of death. It caused a temporary meltdown. But I'm doing better.
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Hope and pray things are going ok with your liver. Are you on constant medication for it? I don't know a lot about liver diseases, just that its a very rough thing to deal with.
 
#8,821
#8,821
joevol33 said:
Hope and pray things are going ok with your liver. Are you on constant medication for it? I don't know a lot about liver diseases, just that its a very rough thing to deal with.
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I take a handful of meds everyday. It seems the list just keeps growing.
 
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